This plus-sized flowered cardigan is on sale for about $17 at CJ Banks:
I’ll be rocking this with my little black dress, bright red lipstick and ankle-strap black pumps to the 50th anniversary party I’m going to at the end of the month. Fun! Danceable! But also multi-purpose: I can wear this sweater with jeans and a T-shirt, I can wear it to church with a full-coverage tank, a black skirt and either of two pairs of green shoes (green can be surprisingly neutral).
That’s one loud print, but it’s unmistakably me. The moment I saw it online, I could see it on myself and see myself feeling confident, comfortable and appropriately dressed for the occasion. Bam. That “aha” feeling is the one I’m always after when I’m choosing clothes and accessories. It says, “I know who I am, I know how I want to look, I know what I want to express with my appearance, and this will do it. Done.”
Some days this process takes thirty seconds, some days it takes thirty minutes. Some days, I’ll admit, I just manage to get clothes on and my teeth brushed. On those days I make sure that the only people seeing me are my staff — and I don’t think I let even my staff see me so undone for at least the first year or two that I was settled in my current congregation.
For those of you who never have that “aha” moment, do not despair. It takes some effort and the radical notion that you deserve to spend some time considering how you want to look and what image you want to project. It requires getting over the false dichotomy that religious people should be “above” such concerns as visual representation in society. It requires taking a deep breath and letting yourself have fun with clothes, experiment with them, consult with friends or professionals about them, and admitting that it DOES matter what you wear and that you care about looking good because you should care.
The “aha” experience can also come with age. When I was 30 years old I had at least four different personalities represented in my closet. Now I have two: Vicki in professional mode and Vicki in private mode. Vicki in private mode is divided into two categories: Working Out and Going Out. “Working Out” are the sporty things I wear for running errands, walking the dog, plotzing around the house and casual hanging out with pals. They consist mostly of black yoga pants, hoodies, baseball caps, and faded jeans.
The Going Out category mostly consists of garments I think of as too-Bohemian-for-prime-time: leggings under dresses, gypsy-esque shirts, insane shoes, skirts that make me look like a reject from a bus-and-truck of Les Miserables. I have an enormous selection of colorful cotton scarves because I wear them in my hair almost every day of the summer. They just seem to… multiply.
Speaking of full-coverage tanks (because if you read back a ways, we were), I got a couple of those at CJ Banks, too:
This is what I mean about paying attention to cut: see how these tank tops are cut? Definition at the waist and a high enough neck so that a full-chested clergywoman can wear them to work and never fear the dreaded Festival of Inappropriate Sharing? Amazingly enough, PeaceBang has the devil’s own time of it finding tanks like this, so she purchased one in black, brown and white. If these fit well when they arrive, she will likely purchase another one in black right away, as the full-coverage black tank is a major staple of her wardrobe and she has learned the hard way that when you find a perfect staple item, GET TWO. I have a pair of perfect black pants from 2002 or so that I wish so much I had a second pair of, as they are falling apart.
PeaceBang’s word to the wise: If your size is consistent, buy two of the perfect wardrobe staple when you find one and save yourself time and money in the long run. Nothing is more frustrating than combing the racks for years looking for that elusive V-necked cardigan or perfect white shirt you wore 8-10 time a month for as long as it lasted, never dreaming it would finally just give up the ghost. How many times have I thrown good money after bad, trying to replace my wardrobe staples with something far less ideal? If you know what you wear almost every day, buy a few when you find perfect versions of them and you can stay out of the stores and streamline your closet that much more easily.
Gents, this goes for you too.
LOVE the cardigan. love, love, love it, and it will rock with the dress. no question.
I agree about the aha moments. You just KNOW.
Love your categories and sub-categories. Wish I could sport the scarf-hair thing like you do.
I got two pairs of the same shoes year before last: black low-heeled pumps that look like leather from a distance but are really made out of some incredibly comfortable mesh fabric. I can wear them for hours, even standing up, and not get sore legs or blisters.
While I am only a potential clergy person (waiting for husband to get a stable job before attempting to go back to school in my 50s), I still enjoy your fashion ideas.
Oooh! You are gonna looks so spiffy with that awesome cardigan over the little black dress. I can’t wear those colors, but they will be fab on you.
I’ve found green and blue shoes (and bronze) to be my favorite for the last few years. Last year I got a pair of dark blue (not navy or royal, in between) flats with a silver buckle and I’ve worn them with everything.
Green is amazingly neutral because it’s smack in the middle of the spectrum, and balances every other colour. I’ve got a couple of pairs of green shoes, and I always gravitate toward them.
A few years ago, I bought a pair of bronze flats which I jokingly called my ‘ballerina-gladiator-whore’ shoes. I didn’t think I’d wear them much, but they absolutely fell apart last year because I had worn them so much. I’ll also never be without a pair of bronze flats, because they’re so versatile.
Purple is another shoe colour I will wear with a lot of things.
I have three pairs of black shoes–dressy flats, euro-sneakers, and a pair of stretchy boots. They will all last a long time because (surprisingly) I hardly ever wear them.
[Wendy, I feel that I need to make a trip to England just to meet you. Any woman who refers to her bronze flats as “ballerina-gladiator-whore” shoes is a soul sister of mine. You made me snarf my coffee!- PB]
I have a question about the cardigan. Will you wear it fastened or unfastened or what? (I never know what to do about that, even when I experiment.) [I’ll wear it open with the dress. I have to see how it fits when I get it, but you just have to go with what you think looks best. Sometimes I buy cardies a bit too small when I know I’ll only be wearing them open with dresses. The worst is the cardies that have no spandex in them and flop around the body and don’t help create shape. I bought two of that type on major sale at Talbots last summer and I regret it. I always feel super frumpy when I wear them. Lesson learned! – PB]
Love the dress. Love the cardigan. You will look both fun,polished, and fabulous. The look is perfect for the kind of event where you want to let people know that you did, indeed, turn out great.
First, PB, yes, come to England! I live just a 20 minute bus ride from Canterbury Cathedral, and work just across the street at Diocesan House. I’m not ordained, I’m the Director of Studies for licenced ministry training. I’m not a priest, but I make them…. 🙂
Canterbury is an amazing place, and even though it’s not your tradition, it’s definitely worth taking in a service at the Cathedral (there’s evensong every day) for the music and architecture alone. I did my PhD on Archbishop William Temple, and it’s an amazing privilege to work across the street from ‘his’ cathedral. I hope I never lose the sense of wonder I feel every day when I walk past the cathedral on the way between the bus station and my office.
Secondly, about cardis–they don’t need spandex if they’re shaped right. I’m currently working on this, in a dark olive:
http://www.laughinghens.com/knitting-pattern-page.asp?patternpageid=5898
And it’s got plenty of shape. So does this:
http://www.kangaroo.uk.com/pattern/1047/417.php
Which I recently finished in teal. Neither have spandex, but because of the cabling at the waist (and some strategic decreases), they do have a very tailored shape.
Find someone who loves ya who loves to knit as well!