(geek!)

It gets it off my face for preaching.

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You know that adorable dress you got for your cousin’s wedding with the darling scoop neck and empire waist? And how, when you wore it to church one Sunday with a cardigan and boots you realized during a meeting that you were engaging in a Festival of Inappropriate Sharing every time you leaned forward? And you went home and thought, gee, the usual silk or chiffon scarf or lightweight pashmina thing would just cover too much of the dress and add unnecessary layers and poufage — what I need is a little modesty scarf like Elz Curtiss mentioned one time?

Well, that’s where I’m at right now. I have so many tops and dresses that are just a WEE bit too low-cut and because I have a very short neck, I look terrible in all the groovy, fashionable scarves out there (although I love to wear them in my hair). As I get older I find that I want to cover up more. It’s not just about cleavage, it’s about catching drafts, not wanting to expose my neck and chest to the sun, and other middle-aged concerns. The skin on my chest also tends to be pink and blotchy and I don’t like that.

Look here at my girl Mary Wollstonecraft. I love, love, love her. She was super intense and neurotic and made terrible romantic choices and was a brilliant feminist and fierce and rad, and every one of you should know her work, A Vindication of the Rights Of Women (especially if you think feminism is a 20th century phenomenon).

Is she not a FANTASTIC crone goddess there (although younger than she looks — she had a rough life)?

Here she is wearing the sort of modesty scarf that I seek but can’t seem to find:

I need one in ivory/white and black. It needs to be streamlined so as not to add too much bulk, and I need to be able to pin it into my upper-body unmentionables. Mary’s is far more floofy than I would want or need, but I love hers anyway.

Silky fabrics won’t do, as they just slip everywhere. Cotton might work if it wasn’t too flimsy, and chiffon itches me. I just want the simplest strip of fabric I can cross over and pin down.

I just know you’ll have some ideas.

I’m almost done preparing for tomorrow’s service, staring at the clock and realizing that it’s not actually 7pm, it’s actually EIGHT. Daylight Savings Time!

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Well, they’re back. They’re back in a big way this season. So let’s review:

This is what the new clog looks like: cute and high-heeled. My manicurist was wearing these yesterday and they were darned adorable. Franco Sarto, available at Macy’s. I don’t love the rubber sole but they certainly are non-slip!

Very sharp. Very appropriate for a minister’s wardrobe.

Also nice. By Born.

Suede can be really nice, but you have to keep it clean. These heels aren’t quite so high.

You know what I think of these: frumpy and you can do better. And no, this doesn’t make them less frumpy:

I know there are a few of you out there who can carry these off, but there are many more of you who think they’re FUN and who aren’t at all carrying them off. Especially not with big, floppy linen pants and jackets, long beaded necklaces and “creative” specs. There’s a fine line between creative and kooky/eccentric/who could possibly take her seriously?
Wait. I take it back. No one can get away with those. Those are just plain hideous.

These clog Mary Janes are FRUMPY! ALWAYS FRUMPY!!! PERIOD!! No more Miz NiceBang on these!! They. Are. FRUMPOLA.

These are so much better!


Very sophisticated for summer days at the office.

Keep your clogs all polished and nice, now. They get dingy fast and you want those little hooves to look like they didn’t just come in from the barn.

(All the photos came from the Zappos.com website. Do a keyword search for “high-heeled clogs” to find them for yourself.)

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Except that I realize I am essentially eating the stuff.

So from time to time, I remind myself of that fact and vow to only put on my lips what I would actually not mind knowing that I had ingested pounds of over the course of my lippy-wearing lifetime. The trouble is, a lot of the products made with honorable ingredients kind of stink. Burt’s Bees is lovely but wears off in about ten minutes. Kiss My Face is waxy and hard to apply. Alba tastes funny.

Giving my effort one more try, I discovered Crazy Rumors lip balm at the health food store check-out the other day. Thinking guiltily about how often I have swabbed my lips with Bubble Gum Lip Smackers of late (I keep one in my desk drawer at all times), I read the label and purchased it. This stuff is great. It’s made in Boca Raton, FL and contains ingredients like jojoba oil, shea butter, olive oil, and peppermint oil. I applied some two hours ago and it’s still on my lips and doing its job even though I have been drinking and eating snacks. Since I wear drying long-lasting lip color formulas during the work week, I like to give my lips at least one day off and just slather them with balm throughout the day. This is going to be my new fave.

I mean, I LOVE Rosebud Salve but I’m pretty sure that’s straight petroleum.

Hey dudes, your lips get really dry and flaky, too. Just sayin’. Because they have a flavor I think you’ll really like!! COFFEE!! Yum!

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I appeal to you for guidance.

I have been approached by a high-end skin care line representative who wants to know if I would like to do a giveaway of one of their products on this blog. She is also happy to send me products to review, so it doesn’t sound like she expects me to endorse any products that I haven’t personally tried.

First of all, I would never endorse a product I didn’t like for any reason.
Secondly, it’s hard to tell if a product works from just a sample, but you can at least make some preliminary assessments by doing so.

PeaceBang gets no money, discounts or “favors” in return for promoting websites, products or artists. Ever. (Even when she thinks it would be nice to get something as a thank you for providing free advertising!!). Her only recompense for the work of this blog is when readers choose to send gifts or make contributions through PayPal, which, believe me, have never amounted to more than it costs to host this website.

So I’m not sure if this “giveaway” thing starts to cross the line from Totally Non-Commercial into fuzzier territory. Lord knows that I collect samples like a fiend whenever I’m able, but this is the first time a major skin care line has contacted me to do so (by the way, I do like and respect their line but they’re generally way above my price point).

What do you think? Should I do a giveaway and get some samples from this swanky skin care line?

Kiss of peace, PB

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I must be honest and say that I think there are a lot of really ugly stoles out there, stoles that try to do too much, stoles that are so much about the “journey” of the wearer or the creativity of the artist that I think of them as “Therapy Stoles” and fail to see any the connection between them and the Church. I see too many stoles that just look messy and like a child’s art project, and too many that look seriously out of place in beautiful, formal sanctuaries. Jan Laurie’s work is simple, elegant, Christian, liturgical. Halo of praise.

If you want to get me one, I’d LOVE the white/ecru one for weddings and Easter! I’m 5′3″, in case you were wondering.

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But she was brave.
She prevailed.
And look how lovely and polished she looks:

Here is the letter that she wrote to Yours Truly, after several other e-mail exchanges.

Well, look at me! I am proud to say that I bought my Very First
Lipstick! (If you can open the attachment, have a look–just ignore the
hair)

This has been a great learning experience for me. I got by for years on
great skin and a simple approach to everything, including makeup–I had
concealer for blemishes and mascara for fancy dress up. But at 40, I
started to notice other women my age without makeup and they all looked
so…tired. Sadly, it was really hard to just jump into cosmetics when I
had no idea what I was doing. You know I tried just heading off to the
drug store with some Peacebang advice in my head–but being faced with
the myriad of choices was intimidating and I left empty handed, feeling
absolutely pathetic. Your email response to me was so encouraging (thank you!), and it inspired me to phone a friend. Thankfully, she took pity on me. We spent an evening together not only going and picking out lipstick together, but with me getting lessons on eyeshadow, eyeliner and face powder, too. Having her with me meant that I didn’t feel like an idiot in the cosmetics department, and we laughed a ton in front of the mirror. I now feel great, and have had lots of compliments on looking good. Next up: new hair, new glasses, and new clothes. I might need more friends!

Thank you for your help on my journey. And please keep writing–I can’t
tell you how many people I have directed to your blog because it is so
SO wonderful.

Peace,
K.

*wiping away tears*
She REACHED OUT! She CONQUERED her fears!
Now what I want to know is, what color is that, because it’s SUPER cute!

Lippily yours,
PB

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We were just discussing the problem of eyeshadow making our lids itchy, and PB wants to share her success with a cheapie little drugstore product called Almay Bright Eyes Base + Concealer.

This doesn’t come in a wide variety of colors and it doesn’t work well as an actual brightener or concealer for the undereye area (if you have real circles to conceal), but I found that it totally solved the problem of itchy eyelids, so I’m happy. I used it for two days and wore lots of shadow to see if it would help it stay through the day and keep my lids from irritating. It succeeded on both counts.

If you buy it, be VERY light with your squeezing; the product comes out very quickly and you only need a little dab per eyelid. The brush it comes with is useless, so just use the finger God gave you to blend the product on the lid.

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And then it was like a drug that went straight into my bloodstream. I was immediately sucked in by the Barbara Walters Special and then sat glued to the red carpet, obsessively commenting on every gown and outfit. And the make-up! WHO MAY WE BLAME for the prevalence of screaming tomato red lipstick on this year’s female nominees? Good Lord, the glorious Sandra Bullock was upstaged by HER OWN MOUTH.

Ditto for Cameron Diaz, who almost made it to Grown-Up Movie Star Status in her lovely gown, but who still has the bearing of a surfer girl no matter what she’s wearing.

Meryl. Helen. Divoon.
Mr. Clooney, visit your barber.
Miley Cyrus, stand up straight.
Mo’nique. Own it. LOVE it.
Charlize Theron. How could you let that happen? I took one look at your gown and remembered that line from “Carrie” about “dirty pillows.”
Hilary Swank. You finally figured out how to do glamour, but I liked you better before.

The moment when I died, though, actually totally LOST IT, was when Sarah Jessica Parker appeared in her insane Dracula buns, leathery, lined, overtanned smoker’s face (Garnier should dump her as a spokeswoman for their skin care line, honestly. Don’t they think we know how much she needs to be airbrushed for those ads?) and HIDEOUS fondue-party era frock. I don’t have HDTV in my own home and let me tell you, it is not SJP’s friend. I was dumbfounded.
Her hub, Matthew Broderick, looked pained just standing next to his fashion icon wife, and I don’t think it was just his oily hair causing him to look that embarrassed (nice tribute to John Hughes, though). It wasn’t really the dress that upset me. It was the terrible, terrible skin damage that smoking has caused to this wonderfully talented woman. Please SJP, quit. You have three children. Yes, you might gain a few pounds if you stop smoking. But that would be a GOOD thing. And you wouldn’t have to wear thirty pounds of eyeliner and faux-tanner if you stopped smoking. Your face would come back alive because of that really helpful thing called, you know, oxygen.

I think I love HDTV, though. How else would I ever have known that Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz have crow’s feet?

Overall, I thought the show was a monumental bore that I couldn’t get through. I’m thrilled for “The Hurt Locker,” though, and for my dearly beloved Jeff Bridges. I’ve always liked Sandra Bullock, too, and her speech was darling.

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I usually just wear gel eyeliner and mascara, but I do enjoy wearing eyeshadow at times as well. I own lots of them and they’re fun to play with when I have the time and a special occasion.

I have found of late, however, that all sorts of shadows make my eyelids very itchy and irritated, and that even wearing foundation make-up as a primer doesn’t help. I’ve done some research on primers and have heard that Too Faced Shadow Insurance works great (and it claims to be soothing to the eyelid) and Urban Decay Prime Potion is also excellent. Both have a silicone base, while Mac Paint Pot in “Painterly” gets very high reviews for being a cream shadow that works amazingly well as a base (brown or black-skinned ladies would want to choose a darker shade from the Paint Pot line).

Too Faced Shadow Insurance.

Urban Decay Primer Potion. The applicator weirds me out.

Mac Paint Pot in “Painterly.”

Have you tried any of these products? Others that you’d swear on a stack of Bibles I should try? Any non-itchy-creating shadows that you think are so beautiful, blendable, fabulously pigmented and great enough to bow down and worship like a golden calf?* Let’s get idolatrous and hear about them!! Because eyeshadow is FUN and way less expensive than a new outfit!

*Please, kittens, don’t recommend Clinique, because PeaceBang thinks Clinique shadows are super-duper whimpy. They’re the “Did you really spend $16.50 for that shadow? Because I can’t see a dang thang on yer eye” product.

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