PeaceBang is just plain drowning in writing projects that aren’t getting off the ground AT ALL. The fact is, I’m working on my Doctor of Ministry degree and that has to take priority over all else. The summer is slipping away and is actually quite full of writing and research responsibilities for my D.Min., so the BTFM book proposal that I had thought would just pop into being isn’t going to happen. Nor is any blogging on BTFM for awhile because quite frankly, haven’t I said it all, or most of it?

I love talking with you, presiding over the raucous cacophony of opinion we get going on here, exhorting you to be your most beautiful, vibrant selves, and damning the Crocs on your beloved feet (hey, I’m wearing them around, too, let’s be honest — there’s nothing better for walking the dog and doing quick, anonymous errands in towns far afield of my own). But right now, please understand that while I DO CARE, I cannot advise you individually by e-mail as I have been wont to do for the past two years. Nor am I blogging on ministerial image right now because switching into BTFM gear takes a kind of energy that God isn’t giving me right now. I am, however, blogging as usual at www.peacebang.com and welcome your visits there. I know, it’s just not as much fun, but it’s where I’m at.

Love to you, my pigeons. Now go and by lovely and fierce for the kingdom of God.

And Miss Crawford looks elegant as well, doesn’t she?

xoxo PB

If your noodgy stage mother PeaceBang does not get down to some disciplined writing this summer she will be very disappointed in herself. She has two big projects to work on: first, she needs to make some progress on her doctoral dissertation on the relevance of covenant in the 21st century church.

Second on PeaceBang’s big Writing Projects List is to get this blog into some kind of book form and to send something decent to publishers before September 1st or thereabouts.

These are big goals that will require me to focus, focus, focus, which means that I will not be contributing many — or perhaps any — more posts to this blog for awhile. There’s a treasure trove of information in the archives for you to peruse in the meanwhile, and I hope that you will.

Your prayers for my productivity are most welcome.

Kiss of peace, PB

[seen here outlining sermon topics for the coming year while on vacation in Provincetown, MA during the summer of 2006. Yes, that’s an Officially Unapproved Amount of Cleavage, but I was on vacation; in fact, in my jammies. — photo by Michael Hammond]

Too much going on right now to blog about fashion tips. Stay cool until I come back.

Meanwhile, keep in touch at www.peacebang.com.

Kiss of peace, PB

I’m fully with you here on the no spaghetti straps, and fully on board for no bare shoulders for anything official, though I’m not sure for church softball games or that sort of thing.

But the no hawaiian shirt thing doesn’t jive. I live and work in California and my conference includes Hawaii and hawaiian shirts are it–Annual conference, I think that might be all the men wear, and for many of us who are in the desert where you will literally pass out from heat stroke if you wear a robe in 100-120 degree heat, Hawaiian shirts are seen in all kinds of pulpits–it’s sort of the norm out here–casual and liveable for those inferno months…I’d love for you to reconsider your advice on this. (Even as a woman, I know Hawaiian shirts are fairly safe in the summer and much easier than figuring out which short sleeve blouses do and don’t show too much arm or cleavage….

And here is my response to Deb, gentle as always

Deb, I’m horrified!! It’s bad enough for male pastors to wear Hawaiian shirts, which communicate a casual I’m-totally-on-vacation-get-me-a-beer vibe, but to suggest that women wear them too for comfort’s sake is ludicrous to mine ears! Girl, that’s why God made cotton blouses in solid colors! It’s 96 degrees here today, for instance, and I am wearing a white cotton skirt, sandals, and a plain black short-sleeved T-shirt with an elegant boat neck. I am just as comfortable as if I was wearing a (shudder) Hawaiian shirt and I look professionally acceptable for tonight’s Annual Meeting.

I stand firmly by my conviction that no one on the planet will really take another person seriously if they’re clad in a Don Ho shirt — except in Hawaii. The whole look was invented to communicate “Don’t Worry- Be Happy! And Let’s Get To That Limbo Contest While I’m Still Really Wasted!” That is NOT the gospel I want to non-verbally communicate with my attire. If my pastor showed up wearing a Hawaiian shirt I’d assume one thing and one thing only: he’s been interrupted from a vacation. See my lips? They’re SO pursed right now!!! - PB

I wonder if anyone will come to church, first of all.

Second of all, I’d better heed my own advice.

This doesn’t give me an excuse to go to church with wet hair, but I’m sorely tempted, as it will be soaking wet by the end of the service anyway. Does anyone have any favorite “wet-look” hair products? Maybe I’ll slick it back in a ponytail and let it dry with some serious gel. I just don’t want to wind up dripping gooey product down my neck and back. Tips, anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?

Here’s former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell wearing one (and a blindingly ugly frock, too, but who’s looking at the frock!!? Miss Halliwell is NOT the modest type, pigeons!)

I’m not sure about this braid business. For one thing, it’s just too hippie-dippie, and unless you’re officiating at some Age of Aquarius ritual, I wouldn’t go there. Look how silly it looks on Gerri, with her bombshell dress and silly Marilyn Monroe white fox throw. She’d have done much better with a flowy Missoni boho dress; the gypsy hair would have gone quite well with that. There’s also the uncomfortable possibility that, if you don’t make that braid thin enough, someone might start calling you Heidi and ask you to milk the goats. Or start humming the Swiss Miss theme, if there is one.

I would avoid this look. If you’ve been wearing a braid this way, try a gentle twist fastened on the bottom with a tiny elastic. Far more adult and still adds some interesting texture.

And while we’re on the subject of misbegotten hair trends: please, Goddess, PLEASE… NO PINK, PURPLE, ORANGE OR BLUE swatches of hair. That is SO over. It was so over in 1997, they heyday of Manic Panic. Furthermore, you’re the minister now. You don’t need attention that badly.

There’s a reason woman are asked to cover their shoulders at every cathedral in Europe; it’s called respect. Bare shoulders are way too informal to be part of your on-duty clerical wardrobe. Spaghetti straps are the worst, but I am against anything sleeveless unless it’s a very steamy day and you’re at a picnic or out boating with your folks.

Guys, no Hawaiian shirts for you. I’m just making this up here, but let’s say it’s roughly the equivalent.

PeaceBang is making a very stern face about this and if you argue she will purse her lips disapprovingly at you.

Why is this a problem? Because when I am worried that my minister is cutting off the circulation in her arm, it distracts me from my counseling session, committee meeting or worship service. A wristwatch that looks painfully tight says to me, “Is this person fully present in their own body? How can she not notice the way her wrist is caught in a vise-like grip of leather or metal right now?”

I am seeing this on women clergy only, which leads me to believe that men have a far wider range of sizes available to them in the wristwatch scene. Gals, if you can’t fit two fingers under the band of your watch, it’s too tight. Please make the effort to find something that fits and that is the appropriate proportion for your body. Uncomfortably tight watches with small faces do not work for those of us with meat on our wrists. If this is you, do yourself a favor and get yourself a watchband that fits.