Everyone should own a black turtleneck. If you have no neck, a la Yours Truly, a mock neck will do.
Just remember that a black turtleneck highlights everything about you- it’s kind of like wearing your head on a stick. Do the hair. Do the face. Wipe out circles under the eyes. If your skin is ebony, some shimmer on the eyes is beautifully illuminating of that key feature. All skin tones might experiment with some dramatic lippy.
Hollywood movie star sunglasses optional.
Here’s a lot of glamorous people (mostly white ladies) rocking the black Tneck. Snoop Dogg doesn’t look too put-together here, but he’s SNOOP. None of us can get away with that.
You MUST not wear your black turtleneck if you have dandruff or wild, woolly unwashed hair. Because yuck. That’s not the kind of head we want to see on a glamour stick.
You should PLEASE NOT pair your black turtleneck with a bolo tie (dudes) or a big Wooden Religious Symbol or Ceramic Jewelry Craft Project, because 1973 is over.
You should please not wear a black turtleneck with a greasy comb-over or ponytail.
You should please not wear a black turtleneck under a JUMPER OH MY GOD THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT BY ENCOURAGING TURTLENECKS OF ANY KIND.
You shall go forth and be fabulous.