Because you're in the public eye, and God knows you need to look good.
Hello darlinks,
I am wearing a lot of pencil skirt/jacket combos for church these days and thought you might like to know one of my favorite sources for such (size 14+) garments is having a big sale right now: Eloquii.com
These jackets are gorgeous and fit really nicely on my busty bod. I love the collar and this color is amazing. Also, hallelujah, pockets!
What to wear to preach? I told you I would share some of what I’m doing with changing up my Sunday morning LEWK, so here I am again!
Since we are more and more aware that people who are seeking spiritual community are either unchurched, suspicious of “organized religion” or maybe even have an averse reaction to vestments due to spiritual harm suffered in previous religious communities, I have been switching up my preaching outfits for Sunday mornings
I am trying things this program year (we lead Summer Sundays, a more casual gathering, in the Parish Hall and return to our sanctuary after Labor Day). I am reserving judgment and seeing what the congregation says, or if they have any significant feedback (feedback, I have found, usually comes trickling in over a longer time than we often expect as folks notice change and respond to it).
Here are a few things I am trying: Traditional robe and stole for Blessing of the Animals. Seems important to go traditional for that service.
Okay. First things first: I have extremely slippery, fine hair and I am not responsible for the fact that no matter what I do to it, it falls completely apart by the time I get to church. The frizz, the baby bird floof that magically manifests on top of my head — I have learned submission by now. There is not enough hair spray in the WORLD (Elnet is pretty good, and I do use dry shampoo to get some lift at the roots but nothing much helps).
I hate this because the stole over the long overpiece is a sloppy mistake. The outfit was not what I wanted it to be: it looked much different in my head than it did in reality. That happens. I would swap out the stole for a long white scarf or simple stole and try again, except that I don’t like the jacket at all and I won’t wear it for church again. Live and learn. Next: Ye Olde Unstructured Blazer.
I like these unstructured jackets from Torrid very much and I own three or four (they are not currently offering them on their website but they’re a classic and may come back. The aqua jacket I’m wearing in the Mother’s Day service is the same style). I like the bright color and I like the smooth ponytail, the earrings and pin. I believe I am wearing this with a pink and black patterned pencil skirt. What I do NOT like is the way the cowl style collar drops as low as it does, potentially creating a cleavage situation that I absolutely want to avoid. Necklines are very challenging for this busty gal and while I do not believe in trying to hide the bazoomage that God gave me, I also don’t want to feature it. I haven’t purchased any professional tops in a long time and I trust Calvin Klein’s plus size blouses that you can easily find on sale through department store websites. I have my eye on this one to wear with a purple skirt and black blazer.
The quest continues. I know for sure that I find stoles worn over street clothes to look ill-matched and indecisive. So I carry on with at least that much decided.
When it comes to plus sizes, God BLESS the manufacturers for their consistency. They are still religiously devoted to swathing larger bodies in yards of ugly, garish fabrics in bizarrrely designed garments.
It’s Hebrews 13:18 in fashion form: “Jesus Christ. The same yesterday, today and forever.”
Meanwhile, how are you all? What a two years it has been.
I’d like to post more than a few times a year but I do have to figure out this new updated WordPress interface. Like you, I am absolutely fried from learning new tech skills, from decision fatigue, worry, anxiety, pivoting from format to format, general angst about reopening, masks, air circulation, room capacity, social distancing at coffee hour, whether we are having coffee hour, signage, sanitizers, carefully discussing how many verses of a hymn we should sing, should we sing at all, how to handle the offering, whether to handle the offering plates, and — what did I forget?
I have not forgotten you, clergy colleagues. I am coming up on the 25th anniversary of my ordination and 25th year of full time parish ministry and never in a million years could I have imagined what we are currently coping with.
Lenten love to you.
I DON’T EVEN WANT TO *THINK* ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE FIRST LADY OF THE UNITED STATES MET THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND IN BARE LEGS.
GODDAMMIT, MELANIA, WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN? YOU DON’T GO BARE-LEGGED TO MEET THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!!
Let us now return to our regular programming.
You’re thinking that you’d like to add some presentable sandals to your summer wardrobe. PeaceBang approves. I still think that close-toed shoes are best for church services because toes are distracting in general and feet are weird and there was that one time an acolyte walked by bearing the Big Processional Cross (I’m sorry, I don’t know what the official name is, I’m a Unitarian Universalist and we think such things are papist)and she had screaming orange toenails and I was immediately all up in her toes instead of reflecting on the glory of the resurrected Christ. Run-on sentence, I’m tired, it’s June.
So you have determined that a nice wedge sling-back sandal is a good choice for your shoe wardrobe. Well-done, you. However, which style and color do you choose?
Not denim. Too sporty and cazh:
Not espadrille style. Too casual and sporty for preaching — and of course orange is “fun” and all, but you’re not trying to be fun. You’re trying to be powerful and professional. Save “fun” for your vacation margarita parties (which I hope you do have and invite me to attend).
Best bet for your professional life? Blue, black, neutral shoe with non-contrasting wedge.
This particular style is by Bandolino and I just saw it on sale at Zulily for $29.99. I would probably grab a pair if they were real leather. Non-leather gives me blisters.
Why hullo, kids,
I am still here! You are still there!
We are still doing ministry! And it’s SPRING!
So of course you want to get some fun colors out and maybe some floral prints, but let’s talk about how to balance out your look so that you get the happy springy look you want without veering into cutesy territory. These images might be kind of small so do be sure to click them to enlarge!
So, say you own this cute skirt from Modcloth:
Very nice! Great anchor piece. These girls school gingham dresses makes you want to skip. Now, make wise choices. Don’t carry a basket of daffodils around and don’t pair this dress with a floral bag. No matter what else you’re wearing,that would be demasiado florals (also, this bag costs FIVE THOUSAND GREEN DOLLARS so none of us are carrying it!).
Let’s discuss that femmy floral skirt for another moment.
The cut is a full A-line, which immediately conjures associations with the 1950’s and ladies in aprons and heels holding pans of brownies. So if you do have a floral print bag you love, pair it with a solid skirt in professional settings and save the Flower Bomb look for lunch on your day off.
Or, you could tone down the floral femmy impact a bit by wearing a floral print in the more tailored pencil skirt style and in black-and-white, pairing all of that with structured garments and then kicking it all up a notch with a very pink but very structured bag. See how the architecture of the bag renders the color elegant rather than merely loud? That’s what good design does.
Or
Very professional, but fun and springy.
Say you’re determined to wear that first floral A-line skirt. You don’t want to evoke “Leave It To Beaver” so you’re not going to wear heels, but ballerina flats also have long association with gamines and pretty much zero associations with women leaders. Always be thoughtful about what associations you’re evoking.
Baby pink flats are fine with tailored ankle trousers, but they’re too girlish for a professional woman in a position of authority to wear with a flouncy floral skirt.
Try for something in a more sophisticated tone and a bit of a pointed toe. Remember what I’m always telling you about the very round toe!
Of course not all florals are super girly. Some of them are quite sophisticated:
And if you *can* look bold and fabulous in lots of florals if you have the stature to carry it off. I submit this as evidence, Your Honor. And please, don’t forget to head to fillyflair.com, where you’ll find more fashion advice.
But you shall not go forth in a suit like that unless your hair and make-up (or bare face) are DONE! GROOMAGE! And your shoes and bag are equally fantastic.
Reminder to self: I have owned two floral pencil skirts for years that are just too long and I need to bring them to my tailor. It will feel so good to finally have them fall at the right length and not have to yank them up at the waist all the time. They’re ancient but I still get a lot of use out of them.
Happy spring, happy Easter, resurrection spirit be with you!