Wedge Sandals

I DON’T EVEN WANT TO *THINK* ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE FIRST LADY OF THE UNITED STATES MET THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND IN BARE LEGS.

GODDAMMIT, MELANIA, WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN? YOU DON’T GO BARE-LEGGED TO MEET THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!!

Let us now return to our regular programming.

You’re thinking that you’d like to add some presentable sandals to your summer wardrobe. PeaceBang approves. I still think that close-toed shoes are best for church services because toes are distracting in general and feet are weird and there was that one time an acolyte walked by bearing the Big Processional Cross (I’m sorry, I don’t know what the official name is, I’m a Unitarian Universalist and we think such things are papist)and she had screaming orange toenails and I was immediately all up in her toes instead of reflecting on the glory of the resurrected Christ. Run-on sentence, I’m tired, it’s June.

So you have determined that a nice wedge sling-back sandal is a good choice for your shoe wardrobe. Well-done, you. However, which style and color do you choose?

Not denim. Too sporty and cazh:

Not espadrille style. Too casual and sporty for preaching — and of course orange is “fun” and all, but you’re not trying to be fun. You’re trying to be powerful and professional. Save “fun” for your vacation margarita parties (which I hope you do have and invite me to attend).

Best bet for your professional life? Blue, black, neutral shoe with non-contrasting wedge.

This particular style is by Bandolino and I just saw it on sale at Zulily for $29.99. I would probably grab a pair if they were real leather. Non-leather gives me blisters.

One Reply to “Wedge Sandals”

  1. It’s called a processional cross. You got that one. The person holding it is a crucifer, though they probably also think they’re an acolyte.

    Everything else is spot on. My black leather sandals with the contrasting but neutral wedge are grateful for your approval.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.