I just attended the Installation of the Rev. Jude Geiger who invited me to give the Charge To the Minister. The fascinating thing about that invitation is that Jude and I had never met in person before, so this was a kind of ecclesiastical blind date. It gave me an opportunity, before charging Jude to be passionately attentive to the life of his congregation, to celebrate the real and meaningful relationships we can create via social media! Yay!
I loved Jude’s outfit for the occasion so I made him be Reverend Man Barbie for photos:
Click on images to enlarge.
This is a really smart look. I LOVE the charcoal tweed sports jacket and waistcoat — so much more snappy, chic and youthful than a three-piece suit — and the slim cut burgundy pants that pair beautifully with his cranberry tie. It’s a great autumn look. The shoes are also fabulous.
It’s hard for men and women of all ages to dress formally without giving off the air of dressing in mummy or daddy’s “grown-up” clothes. I’m not sure why, but it might have something to do with the relative rarity of dressing formally nowadays, and the slightly sheepish vibe dressing up can create in those who aren’t used to knotting ties, putting on cufflinks, smoothing on nylons and buttoning up shirts all the way. It’s all about confidence and poise, darlings. If you feel uncomfortable in your dressed up clothes, you’re going to communicate that unconsciously. The cure for what ails you is to DRESS UP MORE OFTEN. Yes! Try it sometime! Put your comfy, pull-on garments away for a few days and get fapitzed. If nothing else, wearing more formal and constricting clothing (the two usually go together although not always) will let you know if you’re been hitting the fries a bit too hard lately.
Did you know that Donatella Versace wears a full corset under everything, every day, even T-shirts? I just heard this and I think that’s crazy and fabulous because she weighs about seventeen ounces. Commitment! I don’t advise that you look to Miss Versace as a role model, of course — if you did, you’d have to get your face surgically rearranged and then we’d be very sad because you wouldn’t look like yourself. But the point is well taken: if you want to move with grace and confidence when you’re buttoned up in your finest, you can’t throw on your finest once every three years and expect to rock it with the requisite poise. Think of Donatella in her T-shirts and corset and pull your shoulders back tall and proud!
Here’s something funny that Jude told me: When he went back to work after growing a full beard during vacation, people kept telling him that he preached with more maturity. He’s pretty sure he was preaching the exact same as he always did, but his big Biblical beard obviously gave his words more weight and heft. I think that makes sense. My childhood minister had a full beard and I thought he was God.
I would insert a Red Sox beard joke here but I bet you can think up one yourself.
Great update on a classic UU male minister (slightly academic) look. The beard story reminds me of my internship days. As you may recall, I had long, wavy (not too well-kept) tresses. For preaching, I put my hair up in what I called The Bun of Authority. Not sure it added that much gravitas, but it kept the stuff out of my face.
I thought my childhood minister was God, too. It was a worthy comparison. And PB, you’ve got it wrong. It was Jesus who had a beard, not God. God has curly gray hair, a deep booming voice, and the most beautiful smile you can imagine.
We were playing “guess my age” over dinner at a seminarians gathering this past weekend, and I noticed a few things –
First, that people consistently took me for younger than my Certain Number of middle years, which is highly amusing. I have no idea why this should be the case.
Second, that two of the young men present, Mr J and Mr S, were the same age but everyone consistently guessed Mr S’s age as a few years older, which we attributed to his smart, tidy facial hair.
I have been at my current congregation for 6 years, and I must say my style has changed significantly. More “dressy” for sure. Less hippie frumpy (thanks Auntie PeaceBang for helping me identify THAT). I don’t know how many times people in my congregation have given me the up and down look and say “you look NICE”…and I can’t quite tell what they mean by that. Is it “I feel a little less than because of how you are dressed” or “wow, Mennonites don’t dress like that” or…?? It is somewhat offputting and disconcerting, but I’m claiming it as my own, put on the air of confidence and say learn to graciously say “Thank you” with a dazzling smile… [As you should! Part of what we’re doing here is challenging the paradigm of ministers as comfortably invisible people. If you feel more dazzingly alive and present, then it’s all good!- PB]