Beauty Tips for Ministers

Gorgeous Braids

Speaking of braids, ’cause we just were, isn’t THIS a gorgeous hairdo? I love it. The braids are done down low, which looks classically medieval to me somehow. I love the photo. I love the hoop earrings. I love the gown. This is elegance, people. I have a feeling you won’t see flip-flops on Elizabeth, here:

Beauty Out Of Illinois

One of the great and serious disappointments of the Festival of Homiletics was that there was NO PASSING OF THE PEACE during the worship services!! There you have almost 2,000 Protestant clergy from all over the continent gathered for worship, learning and fellowship and we were never invited to turn to one another and exchange the peace of Christ during any of the services I attended. Not only was that a bummer, it was a missed opportunity. Why, I remember meeting the lovely Rev. Rody Rowe last year while passing the peace in Nashville and he quite promptly invited me to visit him in Seattle, which I did. Rody, if you and Alice were in Minneapolis I’m sorry I missed you, I think of you fondly, and I hope all is well.

So anyway, I did some impromptu passing of the peace in Minneapolis but mostly I scanned name tags while in the corridors during breaks so I could see where people had come from — because that sort of thing really interests me.

When I saw this lovely lady from a location near where I once lived, I paused to say hello and exchange a smile:

“[Undisclosed Location], Illinois!” said I, because I remembered it fondly.
“Yes, and I know who you are,” she said, and I was SO HAPPY because the moment I set eyes on her I had secretly thought, “Oh, I hope this is one of my powder pigeons — she looks just SO WONDERFUL and so confident!”

It turns out she is, and she’s even a commenter on here, and let me point out a wee list of things that are exactly right about this outfit:

1. It’s fashionable without being trendy (notice the cut of the jacket, for instance), which makes her look both classic and vibrant. She’s chosen proportions and cuts just right for her body type.
2. She’s not matchy-matchy — she has taken some neat pieces and put them together (red shoes! fun bag!) with her own sense of flair; furthermore, it looks like she’s having fun doing it.
3. She’s got a great haircut and she’s taken care with her make-up.
4. She has an open, genuinely happy smile and radiates warmth.

So a halo of praise to our lovely colleague from Illinois. It was great to meet you briefly and to exchange a big PeaceBang kiss of peace.
Here’s me looking like a big close-eyed dork with you…

I Love You, Maria Von Trapp!!

Oh, oh, oh!! Did you SEE Julie Andrews this morning on Regis and Kelly? I was picking up a decaf at Dunkin Donuts at the time so I didn’t get to watch her for more than a minute, but darlings, she is the EPITOME of elegance, warmth and PRESENCE.

She’s been wearing her hair the same way forever, but it’s such a timeless style, it just works. It’s soft, full, swept back from her smashingly gorgeous face, and colored a soft auburn. Her eyebrows are penciled in so you can see their expressive, elegant arch. The lips are colored a soft rose-mauve (no big gooey glosses for our Miss Andrews!), lots of mascara to frame the eyes, and best of all, she seems to have had no plastic surgery. The skin is sagging — let’s say softening — where it should be softening on a woman of her years, and her bearing is regal. She is getting, if anything, more beautiful with time.

Her voice is still the cultured voice you remember from your childhood “Mary Poppins” viewings, with that wonderful gravelly undertone and throaty laugh that reassures you that although she’s a piss-elegant Brit, she’s got a good cache of naughty jokes and drinking songs in her repertoire to go along with “Do-Re-Mi.”

She was wearing a dove gray suit accessorized with big square earrings to highlight her face, a thick, classic, flat gold chain around her neck and a soft, ivory chiffon scarf tucked into her suit to soften its tailored lines. SWWOOOOON!!

Her posture and open, attentive expression is a thing of glory and should be studied by us all, men and women. As a singer, Julie Andrews knows how to keep her “mask” open; the part of the face that would be covered if you wore an old-school masquerade ball mask. All ministers should know how to open their mask, as it energizes the expression and makes you look more alive, aware and present.

How to Open The “Mask” of the Face:

Sit in a chair, slightly slumped over. Let your face totally relax, and even settle into a bit of a frown.

Now, pretend that you are Julie Andrews about to teach the Von Trapp children the first notes of the solfege. Sit up straight, but not ram-rod straight. Remember, you’re Maria, not Captain Von Trapp. Taking both your hands, lift them in a gesture that an orchestra conductor might use to signal musicians to pick up their instruments. Let your face open as your hands open. Your skin will feel pulled back, your eyebrows and eyes wide open but not in an alarmed or forced manner.

Practice in front of a mirror until you look poised, present, fresh and attentive but not like a deer in headlights.

P.S. Singers, you already know how to open your mask, since you know we can produce no rich sound without doing so. Teach your friends.

All clergypersons, when presiding at worship, should have an open mask at all times except perhaps when praying. There can be no embodied, relational worship if the presider does not understand or know how to produce an open mask and supported breath required for all good public communication.

Not Looking Old

Remember a few posts ago when Gidget asked how to look young and hip without being delusional about it?

Lookee here! Seems Charla Krupp is a big expert on that very thing, and I would take her really seriously except for the fact that she looks kind of desperate and delusional in her own author photo. She has a great bod, but that top is way too tight and “LOOKA ME, I’M OVER 40 AND STILL HOT!” kind of way. I’d love to see her tone it down with maybe just a scoop-neck sweater with a slim belt around the waist, would accomplish the same thing but without the sense of screaming insistence for attention. Charla, you?’re so pritty! Relax on the skin-tighties, okay? Let’s give the teenagers someone to look up to! Right now it looks like you’re trying to compete with them, and that’s bad for Womankind.

Her advice about lightening the hair is a good one — but with some PeaceBang caveats. By all means cover the gray (if it’s not a beautiful, flattering gray) and avoid dark monochromatic helmet hair. But not all women over 40 should go blonde or anywhere near blonde. Caramel and chestnut brunettes, classy auburns and deep glossy blacks (think Angelica Huston) can all work beautifully. The challenge for hair after 40 is that it have a distinctive style, that it flatter the skin tone, and that it have body, shape and shine (all signs of youthful vitality), not that it necessarily be just lighter. There are some GODawful blondified senior gals out there, suffering from Mousse Abuse and looking like those dead dandelion heads, dried-out and dead. Lighter is not necessarily the answer.

I am definitely scared of the models showing off those garish sculpting undergarments (that which PeaceBang personally refers to as Severely Constricting Undergarments, and recommends to every woman over 30 who isn’t super fit). Their make-up is like something out of a community theatre production of “Cabaret.” Are they just moments from breaking into a verse from “Mein Herr?” I feel I must leave the room for my own safety before the Bob Fosse stomping and throwing of chairs begins.

Charla’s advice on jeans is RIGHT ON, so she gets a PeaceBang Halo of Praise for that! Likewise, she is dead on about not being matchy-matchy (I am so sorry when I see clergywomen in those hideous skirt-and-jacket suits in pastels or bright colors like magenta or green or sapphire blue, you know the ones, with the little scalloped lace detail on the collar? It’s obvious that so much care has been taken to look so “put together,” but the effect is total Mother of the Groom — repressed, grandmatronly, the opposite of vital and creative). She’s right that bangs are very in right now and could work for a lot of you (but not bowl-cut bangs and not too short).

So overall, a good article. Worth a skim through the photos. If anyone gets the book, let me know if it was worth the money.

People We Love

Thanks to ChaliceChick for alerting me to this lovely little article on the nice people over at Zappos, an on-line mega shoe store.

Cripes, that’s nice. Given all the nightmare stories we hear about customer service (like my hideous experiences with Dell, which should get a goiter on its neck the size of my Aunt Rivka’s rear end) it’s nice to get some good news once in awhile.

The extra honey-headed thing about this is that I feel like someone just sent flowers to this grieving gal and didn’t assume that it would become a big news story and get them tons of extra publicity. Zappos has long had a great reputation for customer service, and apparently well-earned.

Defining Business Casual

i jes’ found this on-line by Rachel Zupek. In an article on defining business casual, she sez,

Does this mean business casual is dead? Not really, but you could argue the appropriate application of business casual is, says Elizabeth Freedman, author of “Work 101: Learning the Ropes of the Workplace without Hanging Yourself” (Random House).

“Companies don’t spend enough time really conveying why dress is important in the workplace beyond a 20-minute session for employees at a company orientation,” Freedman says. “Over time, employees figure out what they can ‘get away with’ and their wardrobes reflect that.” Freedman suggests companies educate employees on an ongoing basis about what is appropriate and what isn’t.

Sandy Dumont, corporate image consultant, agrees that the concept of business casual has gotten out of hand.

“The moment you permit casual attire, it goes from bad to worse,” she says. “Employees are like spoiled children who have been told they can eat anything they want, and now they don’t want to eat their vegetables, only junk food.”

To avoid becoming a business casualty, follow these workplace do’s and don’ts.

Do keep a blazer or jacket in your office. Always be prepared for an impromptu meeting with an important client or customer. “Should an unplanned opportunity arise to meet with a client who might observe a more conservative dress code, employees can simply don their blazer, add a tie if appropriate and dress up quickly,” Crane says.

Don’t have only one wardrobe. “To save a buck, some of us wind up wearing the same things to work that we would wear on any given weekend. Business casual isn’t casual dress,” Freedman says. “It’s an upscale professional look – not to be confused with what you might wear out one night with your friends.”

Do ditch the khakis. They look sloppy, rumpled and slept-in within minutes. Instead wear tan or beige trousers in cotton twill in the summer or a wool gabardine in the winter, Dumont says.

Don’t show too much skin. Anything that reveals too much skin is inappropriate. Keep skimpy tops that reveal bare midriffs, too-tight knit shirts that reveal bulging pecs and low-rise slacks that afford others the opportunity to potentially see more than they should, out of the office, Crane says.

Do invest in a suit. Men and women should invest in two basic suits and three coordinating shirts or blouses, advises John Heins, senior vice president and chief human resources officer for Florida-based staffing firm, Spherion Corporation. “They are timeless, neutral and almost always appropriate,” he says. “All pieces work together to produce a wardrobe that is greater than the sum of its parts.” And you can always ditch the suit coat for a dressed down, yet professional look.

Don’t wear flip-flops. There isn’t anything remotely business-like or professional about flip-flops, so save them for the surf, Freedman says. “Even if they cost you $100 and are adorned with jewels from Tiffany, don’t do it.”

Do be clean and well-groomed. The way you care for yourself indicates to employers the level of care you put into your work, says Donna Flagg, workplace expert. “If you look sloppy, higher-ups in the organization will think your work is sloppy,” Flagg says.

Don’t confuse ‘casual’ with ‘sloppy.’ At minimum, clothes should be ironed and unstained. “Business casual attire should be crisply pressed and wrinkle-free,” Crane says.

Do follow the leader. If your office allows business casual, but your boss never wears open-toe shoes, you might consider keeping your own hidden, says Rachel Weingarten, author of “Career and Corporate Cool.” “If you do go for sandals, maybe limit the pedicure to a neutral shade instead of a shocking red or quirky blue.”

Don’t try to “get away” with things. You’ll look less like a professional and more like a teenager, Weingarten says. “The point isn’t to show what you can wear; it’s to show what you can do.”

The bottom line?

“If you want to play on the team, wear the team uniform,” Freedman says. “Look around your office, see how successful people dress and imitate. I’ll bet you won’t find senior-level folks at work dressed shabbily - or in flip-flops.”

RIGHT ON, Rachel and Elizabeth! We ARE spoiled children who DO try too often to “get away with” sloppy looks! We SHOULD embrace twill and gabardine! And kisses to you for slamming on the flip-floppage! PeaceBang Halo of Praise to you!