Oh dear Lord on high, PeaceBang had hoped she could get away without saying anything about this but now that the New York Times has made a pronouncement that man buns are here to stay, I feel I must ISSUE A STATEMENT.
I can’t seem to find the article but I’m almost certain I saw the headline on Twitter. Could I be hallucinating? Possibly. Yet, for those who doubt, here is proof that the Times actually marked this hairstyle as a Brooklyn hipster trend in 2012.
Look, I’m TRYING to take this seriously as a grooming option! I even follow Man Buns of Disneyland on Instagram because some of those dudes are fearfully and wonderfully made, if you know what I’m saying.
I think the idea of hipsters in Seattle wearing tiny fedoras atop their man buns is a laff riot! My cousin lives there and I hope he’ll not only snap some photos for me, but get his own tiny fedora.
But here, my pets, here we talk about clergy image and our responsibility to represent the church as religious leaders. And in that work, a man bun is not a good choice.
It’s pretty simple. If you’re not an ordained samurai, you probably shouldn’t wear a man bun.
Why? Because they’re the opposite of dignified. Because they’re usually a mess. Because they immediately identify you as a hipster and are therefore a distraction. Because you’re not at yoga class or on retreat. Because they’re not cross-generational-friendly (a term I believe I just coined! It’s when someone from one generation takes one look at a another and says, “That kid looks like an idiot” — even when that “kid” is 35 years old). Because you’re not Jared Leto.
Let’s have some debate here! Man bun-rocking pastors, send us your photos! Convince me!
Until then, put away the Goody elastics and scrub under your nails for tomorrow morning. It couldn’t hurt.