A PeaceBang Consult With Diane

I had a wonderful time consulting with Diane today.
She came in dressed for a regular day at her ministry setting as an Interim Minister of Pastoral Care in a large church located in an affluent Boston suburb.

[Please click photos to enlarge.Sorry they’re not very good. Someday maybe I’ll have my own staff to do this for me!]

We talked about shoes, of course (Diane has wide feet and shoes are a challenge. I thought her Dansko sandals were fine, but advised her to wear a more chic shade of polish on her toes. It will make a big difference. I recommended a dark plum). We discussed Diane’s current setting and what she needs for a coming season of interviews and other formal formation occasions such as her ecclesiastical council (a necessary step before ordination in her tradition) next spring. I advised Diana to think not only about her immediate future, but to consider where she’d like to be in a year from now, and two years, and five. When you start to consider your image, appearance and role in the church and in society, think beyond the immediate moment. Where do you want to be? What kind of a feeling do you want to evoke in people when you walk into a room? What is deep in you that needs to be brought out?

Diane has a full wardrobe of camisoles and unstructured jackets from Chico’s, and a huge collection of statement necklaces to go with all the variations in colors of those combos. We quickly established that she looks much, much better in rich jewel tones than in neutrals. We discovered that she loves a little bit of sparkle. I found this very telling, as I always listen carefully for those little, revealing details. Diane presents as a lovely, low-key presence. She is pleasant, intelligent, and poised, but warm and personable. We laughed when I told her that she’s seems like a classic Nice White Lady.

Nice White Ladies are great. But “nice church ladies” of any color who aspire to public leadership need to have some options in their wardrobe that help them achieve a more commanding presence.

Diane brought colleague Mary with her. I had done a consult with Mary a year ago and it was great to see her again, fresh out of her first year in the parish. As Diane tried on combo after combo and I commented on the various looks, we talked about clergy image and why it feels so important to connect the sense of beauty we feel about God’s creation with our own appearance; why we care about making that effort. It was a great chat.

After seeing Diane in about ten different ensembles that she brought from home, it was clear that she has a kind of uniform for herself of flowy top, camisole, and slacks accessorized by bold necklaces. There’s nothing wrong with having a go-to outfit concept like that: it saves a lot of time and makes shopping for clothes and dressing in the morning much easier.

But I wanted to see if we could get Diane to move a bit out of her comfort zone. She has a fantastic figure that she’s not dressing for at all, so we discussed tailored, more fitted styles that will give her a sharper, more contemporary and stylish silhouette. Since she’s wearing mostly flowing poly knits, I recommend that she investigate some cotton/spandex tops, which look very smart tucked into pants when you have a beautiful waistline, as Diane does. I see a gorgeous leather belt with a bold, amazing belt buckle in her future, as well as a great pair of dark denim jeans. I want to encourage her to get a little more STRIDE in her stride.

Diane’s necklines are almost all camisoles, which is fine but, IMHO, not tailored enough for a woman in leadership position to wear to every professional appearance. I recommended that Diane try on some collared blouses, that she look at jackets with structure and lapels, and that she challenge herself to try on younger, more chic clothing just to see how that might change her sense of herself.

And then we went upstairs to mess around with hair and make-up. Diane, I’m so sorry that I accidentally deleted the little tutorial video I made for you! But I can easily recreate your make-up right here. Ready, everyone? Here’s Diane after a bit of cosmetic enhancement and wearing one of my necklaces, just to give her an idea of a different style than her usual bold, multi-strands of colorful beads.

[Sorry the photo is blurry, but you can see how amazing she looks. Even wearing my blazer which is like 10 sizes too big for her!]

MUCH more sophisticated, polished and mature (although she looks chronologically much younger).

On eyes: I brushed D’s eyebrows up with a spoolie brush and applied bit of eyebrow powder by Anastasia in Dark Blonde. On her lids, I first applied a very light shimmering shade of eyeshadow (Virgin by Urban Decay) in the inner corner and up into the brow bone. Then I took a chubby eyeshadow pencil (Luminous Fig by Smashbox) and, using feather strokes, drew a thick line across her eyelid and then smudged it up into the lid, stopping just at the crease. Then, to add a bit of the sparkle I know she loves, I took another chubby pencil (Midnight Cowboy by Urban Decay) and applied that over the lid on top of the brown Luminous Fig.

Diane had an unblended line of brown pencil under her eye, which wasn’t doing a thing for her, so I Q-tipped that mostly off and applied one little last wing of brown eyeliner at the outer corners of her upper eye lids with Teddy by Mac.

ALWAYS blend your eyeshadow and liner, ladies! Unless you’re wearing a liquid liner with precise application.

On her cheeks, using round strokes, I applied a rosy blush to the apples of her cheeks. I then applied a bit of Stila luminizer (Kitten Shimmer) to the tops of her cheekbones, tapping it on with my pinky just the way you’d put on eye cream. I also dabbed a bit of luminizer at the end of her nose. Tricks! We got ’em!

We played with coral lip gloss (here’s Diane trying on a necklace that’s very different for her, and we were fooling around with how great she looks with her hair up):

After toning down the lip gloss shade a bit, I showed Diane how to add a bit of flair with a neck scarf. Easy as pie, and a nice alternative to her customary necklaces (which I cautioned her not to get to “matchy-matchy” with). Notice how much sass she suddenly has? I love how Mary is cheering her on in the background there.

Before:

After:

When Diane left my house, she was moving differently. She had broken beyond a particular and very specific self-image and seen exciting, empowering possibilities. She was inspired and inspiring.

PeaceBang loves to do this work in her spare time. It feeds her soul! We work together for 2-3 hours and you make a free will offering that can absolutely be non-financial.