Goat Guys

My dear Guys With Goatees,

Several colleagues and I in the Red Lion Inn lobby were just discussing facial hair and have came to the consensus that goatees should be CLOSE-TRIMMED and neat, and not protrude from one’s chin like Rip Van Winkle. We feel that this is an issue of cleanliness and therefore, of godliness.

R. would like to add that “I also think that bald men with sideburns are a mistake.” PeaceBang will have to muse on that one for awhile. Readers? Agreed? Disagreed?

7 Replies to “Goat Guys”

  1. There have been six men in the history of time who have successfully combined bald head and sideburns. All of them were born before 1900.

  2. If by bald men, you mean those with shaved heads, then yes, sideburns are a mistake. As I understand them, sideburns are a transition between a man’s hair and his beard. If there is no hair, there’s no reason for a transition.

    Sideburns might be ok for men who are bald on top but maintain a fringe on the sides, but nothing too extreme OK?

  3. I don’t know about bald men with sideburns but nearly bald men with a long skinny pigtail in the back — like the guy I saw last night!!!! It just looks strange.

  4. Yes, bald guys with sideburns and, I would add, beards is a Big Mistake. Chris Daughtry, the rock singer from “American Idol,” while otherwise the paragon of Hotness, looks ridiculous with his bald shiny head and the sideburns-beard-facial hair thing. It’s just wrong.

    Bald guys who want to grow facial hair need to stick to goatees and van dykes, in other words, facial hair unconneected to the hair on their heads.

    (A goatee is facial hair on the chin; a van dyke is moustaches and chin hair).

  5. I concur, on the goatee. Also, mustaches should not be walrus-style: that is, they should NOT lap over/down onto the upper lip. Bah. I tell my pastor-husband that he is “walrusing” when that happens. He promptly roars like a walrus (so funny!!!) and then hies himself off to the bathroom to trim the mustachio’s “hemline.”

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