Hello, pigeons!
One of you lovelies wrote to me awhile back and we had a bit of a chat about how she might dress in a way that helped her feel less (in her words), “scrawny” in the aftermath of chemotherapy. That was the summer, and I think I recommended that she look into maxi dresses and chunky sandals. If not, I meant to.
It is hard to lose one’s size and strength following an illness, and important to dress in comfortable clothes that feel cuddly and not constricting. In the colder season this is easier to do, so let’s talk about some styling tips for those who are feeling less than robust.
Bulky knits are wonderful. What would make a rounder figure look too hefty will be lovely on a slimmer frame:
Layering is tres chic! But notice how it’s done: with form-fitting garments with sleek cuts. A monochromatic palette is very smart, and you can mix and match the same garments in endless variety:
You certainly don’t need to take things THIS far (below), but I love this color combo. Sexy neutrals. Here’s a hint: if you add details like faux fur or nubby textures, your neutrals go from BLA to BAM! And why not wear a hat indoors? Or a warm scarf around your hair or wig? Be warm, be chic, be piss-elegant, baby. What other time in your life will be so appropriate to the wearing of divaesque turbans, for example?
Layer, layer, layer. This groovy chick is way more Carnaby Street fab than we’re going to be (especially with the short skirt), but the mixed patterns and layering are wonderful (and apropros of another recent conversation on here, note the adorable brooch)!
Mixing patterns isn’t that hard to do.
Totally, utterly fabulous. Jay-Z is a big man and he wears these patterns like he owns the town, which he does:
Here’s some layering and mixing patterns. For a very slim guy, this is a great look. Way too bulky for a big man (unless the sweater is a very thin knit):
A skinny gal can wear a bulky sweater that hits right at the waist and belt it. You could wear this with a pair of woollen plaid trousers for a nice substantial feeling. Just make sure your clothes aren’t falling off you and you won’t look at all scrawny.
Luxe touches like faux fur collars, nubby textures and long knits can swath you in warmth and give you a bit of welcome bulk while not obliterating your shape.
Remember that fashion models are tiny-boned, very skinny people. The key to dressing well when your size is diminished is to not get lost inside of tons of excess fabric. Keep garments fitted but substantial, wear layers if you’re concerned about people worrying about your weight loss, keep a warm, beautiful shawl at hand for warmth, and take good care of yourself. Oh, and you heard it from Auntie PeaceBang: you’re not obligated to wear any rainbow striped leg warmers, glittery, rayon scarves or Hello Kitty knit caps well-meaning people give you as a gift. If anyone asks where their gift is, tell them that you love it but that it itches you. If anyone has a problem with that, they can talk to Mr. Jesus about their pettiness issues.
You have more important things to think about.
I sometimes think there should be a special blog for clergy with cancer. There’s just so much to talk about, so many things to share. We have done some sharing on this blog — you can do a keyword search if you want to see some of the archives. Here’s one on head-coverings for the temporarily bald. Here’s one on cancer and clergy image.
May God’s care enfold you and may your community’s compassion surround you.
No scrawnyness to worry about here, but I love the notion of having someone “talk to Mr. Jesus about their pettiness issues”. I also love the ensemble with cap, short skirt, vest, etc. That purple/pink vest that was tres chic when I was in the 6th grade. Wish I had had the clothing budget and styling sense back then.
Hi everyone,
I’m the scrawny pigeon who asked for PeaceBang’s help in dressing so as to not look like a walking memento mori while I claw my way north of 100 pounds again. These are FANTASTIC ideas, and I’m eager to try out every one of them! I am touched to the point of tears at how much care you put into assembling this guide for me and others in my situation, PeaceBang. Thank you, too, for acknowledging the sick person’s desire for clothes to be a source of physical comfort while other things are difficult or unpleasant. If I could afford to wear only cashmere next to my skin, I would.
Indeed, this may be my moment to try a faux-fur chunky vest; I hadn’t realized that my “problem” could be a point of entry into some fashion fun.The tip of mixing patterns to add visual heft is brilliant. I was wondering how to layer clothes without looking like I’m wearing my entire wardrobe at once, and I do believe you are right that fitted layers are the trick. And wearing all these layers in a sophisticated mix of neutrals will keep me from looking like I’ve borrowed Joseph’s technicolor dream coat.
Hee hee. No one has given me scratchy hats or odd leg warmers yet; many folks seem to want to give me stuffed animals. If a Hello Kitty cap comes my way, I shall take your good advice, plead itchiness, and then donate it to one of my new polyester animal friends. [Hi, Nina!! I'm so glad you wrote in! I couldn't find your original e-mail so I am SO so glad you got to see this. And I'm so very glad it has given you some good ideas. Bless you, sweetie! - PB]