Beauty Tips for Ministers

Dragon Breath And Liquid Chlorophyll

Darlings, how to say this gently?

If we brush our teeth in the morning (and I hope you’re flossing, too — did you know that dental plaque can wind up going straight to your arteries? Flossing is actually a matter of good heart health as well as oral hygiene!), and then we spend the day talking, drinking coffee, eating food and never doing anything else to clean our mouths of bacteria (say, chewing gum), by evening we will have developed a coating on our tongue and mouth that creates the dreaded Dragon Breath.

Do the people you meet with of an evening a favor. Brush your tooth (as my late father used to say). Brush the tongue, spend a good minute or two at the job, and rinse well. If you can’t get home to brush, pack a toothbrush in your bag and at least brush with water.

Alternating coffee with water throughout the day will not only help keep you hydrated (and your entire body needs that — but as a professional speaker, your vocal chords cannot do without it!) will also help the nasty bitter breath from developing.

Chewing parsley is great, too. The chlorophyll is an added bonus. Speaking of which, I have been taking straight chlorophyll in liquid form (an alfalfa base) just to add a straight shot of plant-based nutrients to my winter diet, a product which also claims to act as an internal deodorizer. It makes me feel great in general, but if I get fresher breath from it, double bonus! Remember the “I’ll have a shot of wheat grass” craze of the 90’s? It’s like that, except for I’m allergic to wheat grass. Same sense of natural high, though.

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Valentine’s Day Sharing

Hello, loveys!

An important part of ministerial self-care is to have plenty of love in our lives, correct? So let’s take this time to write a little valentine to those friends, spouses, partners, sweethearts and special spiritual friends who keep our hearts full and laughing, and who help us see the world as a beautiful and blessed place even when we’re a bit lost in the high weeds of pastoral stress or the suffering of the world.

You go first and I’ll add some soon…

Who do ya LOVE!?

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Cleaning the Pastor’s Study

Darlings, I just decided to tackle this today, as I could not stand one more moment in my cluttered study. Either that, or it was a monster procrastination method from working on my sermon. Naw. I’m willing to write on my day off tomorrow just to get this DONE.

It amazes me how many piles and files and drawers I have fit into this small space. I am determined to stay up as late as it takes to get it done to my satisfaction, even though it won’t be as thorough a job as it needs to be, it will be a very good start.

My question for you: what to do with the years worth of worship services filed by subject matter? I have most everything saved electronically but I am still a lover of paper and do fairly regularly take out services and read through for ideas and liturgical materials. How do you file?

Back to work. I hope the Pizza Fairy visits soon.

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Mirror, Mirror On the Wall

OH pigeons,

PeaceBang has had a revelation. Actually, this is the fifth or sixth time she has had this realization, but now she is going to do something about it and say something about it. It is this:

Get a full-length mirror.
More specifically, get a full-length mirror that does not distort you either favorably or unfavorably.
Look in that mirror every day.
If you have the tendency to gain weight without noticing that you have, look in that mirror at least once a week as nekkid as the day God made you, including the side and back view. Just notice where your body is changing. Don’t be mean; this is the vessel of the Holy Spirit and your beloved spaceship for this lifetime. The point of this exercise is not to berate yourself or to pick apart your imaginary faults (and please don’t do this exercise at all if you have a history or eating disorders or body dysmorphia*), but just to notice if you are gaining weight. This would be a good time to weigh yourself.

This is similar to the full-length mirror that PeaceBang has at home:

A slight tilt and a slim mirror will always be slimming.

This is the mirror that resembles the mirror PeaceBang needs to get. It is wider, and she can mount in on the wall and avoid the “slimming tilt” effect:

$99 at IKEA.

Do not even say the word “diet.” PeaceBang does not belive in diets. She believes in “eat less, move more.” She also believes in honesty, as in “OH MY GOD, I HAVE GOT TO FINISH THIS DISSERTATION BEFORE I EXPLODE.”

My charming hostess (a former congregational board chair) reminds me to remind you that a full-length mirror in your church office is an imperative. I concur. THAT mirror is for checking for various askew bits and pieces (hem showing, pant caught in your sock, toilet paper sticking to your shoe, crooked stole) so you can fix ‘em before you go out to lead worship.

Kisses, darlings!

*As Joy Lightning reminds us in her comment, body dysmorphia can run in the opposite direction, too, which is how it runs with me. I simply don’t feel as large as I am and it’s easy to pack on a lot of pounds before I notice anything — and as Rachael Ray memorably remarked a few years ago, most clothing today will fit us comfortably within a 20-lb. weight range. Not that I usually pay a whit of attention to anything that Chuckles says, but that was spot on. – PB]

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Supplemental Caution (Anxiety Attacks)

Sweetlings, I just saw this on a friend’s FaceBook page and thought it worth posting here:

Do NOT buy “One a Day, Women’s Active Mind & Body, with Energy Support” vitamin, it is not a mother’s little helper. It felt like I’ve been having an anxiety attack for 2+ weeks.

Sounds NOT good, eh?
As you may recall, PeaceBang used to get frequent anxiety attacks, and they are no fun. I woke up with one last night, pa-thumpeta-thumpeta-thumpeta, and immediately knew that my day of too much sugar and too little protein had caused my blood sugar to go all out of wack. Knowing this, I was able to do my favorite Dr. Andrew Weill breathing exercise (inhale for four, hold for five, exhale for eight) for a minute or two and go right back to sleep. No sugar for me today, and minimal caffeine.

If you are prone to anxiety response, do read labels carefully and check for stimulants or other ingredients that may trigger you. And now, my lovelies, comment away. I feel certain that you have your own cautionary tales about teas, vitamin products, supplements or other supposedly beneficial products that had a deleterious effect on your bod.

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How Colors Grab Us

Yesterday I was looking at a friend’s vacation photos of her trip out West and was totally transported by an image of evergreen trees reflected in water. I just looked and looked at that wonderful, healing green — my favorite color — and it was like a long, quenching drink to my wintery soul. Ahhh, green. I knew there was a reason I painted my parsonage study a hue that could most accurately be described as Screaming Kermit Green. I need color.

Color has an energy and inspiration all its own. Lately, I have been wearing lots of black and grey. It’s not necessarily because I want to, it’s more that the garments I like (and that FIT!) come in that color, they go with everything, they’re practical, I can jazz them up with a scarf or tights or something. I cannot bring myself to wear colors that don’t feel good to my eyes and heart. I could no more don a bright red garment than I could paint my lips purple — it would actually hurt. I don’t like most reds on me, they’re all wrong, it throws me off even to try on red garments. Please pigeons, don’t ever force a garment on yourself just because it fits or is “pretty much” what you want. What we wear does affect our mood; don’t abuse yourself by wearing something that offends your spirit.

Cheap colors depress me and that’s another reason to stick to grey, black and other neutrals: they’re less expensive to produce. I’d rather have a luxe-feeling black shirt than a cheap saturation of a potentially beautiful blue or green any day.

One of the reasons I love to travel to Central America in the wintertime is that Latino culture is so gorgeously colorful, it’s like receiving a dose of Soul Vitamins just being around all of that vibrant splendor. Oranges and pinks and yellows and reds and bright blues and …such a brilliant contrast to the austerity of our New England winter landscape, where sage green is really a “pop” of color.

Lately I find myself particularly drawn to this color, which the magazines call “cerulean” ( what a beautiful word! CERULEAN). I don’t love these earrings but oh, the color!

That’s all I really wanted to say. It’s early and pre-coffee, so that’s why I sound less effervescent than usual. I ain’t quite awake.

Colors are food for the soul. Eat wisely.

Suzani from The Loaded Trunk, my cousin Roni’s online store.

Roni is in India right now shopping for the store. A sari vendor in Delhi.

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