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I’ve been concerned about seminarians talking about “making a statement” about how truly cool they are by wearing something hip and groovy for their ordination. And I’ve seen some visual evidence that these hip and groovy outfits are, in a word, disastrously inappropriate.
An ordination, wherever it happens, is a formal occasion. It calls for formal dress. This is not the time to show the world what a cool priest or minister you’re going to be by planning to whip off your robe and reveal the Dr. Who T-shirt underneath, or motorcycle boots, or twee little leggings with Dr. Marten’s or purple sparkly clogs.
These “statement pieces” (or entire ensembles) don’t show that you’re hip and cool. They show that you’re self-centered and think the occasion is all about you and not about the ministry, and/or that you don’t know how to dress yourself. All serious mistakes.
This is a “young and dumb” phenomenon, and I take that phrase from one of my favorite blues songs, “One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show,” where Francine Reed growls, “I was so yoooooooung, dumb and stupid – I ain’t like that no mo’!” Those yoooooung, dumb and stupid outfits are the ones that cause us to look back twenty years later and say (if we’re being honest with ourselves), “Lord, what was I thinking, and why didn’t someone stop me?”
Well, PeaceBang is here to stop you with her customary tough love. You don’t need to make a big “look how special and unusual I am” statement on your ordination day. Just be yourself – that’s special enough. Just be you all dressed up and gorgeous and confident and appropriate for photos that the church may have in their archives for centuries to come. You’re being ordained to the ministry, aren’t you? That’s enough statement for one day. You should dress formally and not try so hard to flout convention that you’re straining at the seams for Awesomeness Points. I’ve seen this phenomenon live and in person and it’s painful. It’s already a day during which all eyes will be on you, so there’s no need to scream for attention.
Please, lay down the fiery burden of trying desperately to prove what a fashionista/relevant/sexy/modern/contemporary clergy person you are. Just, you know, be that, if you are that. A genuinely relevant, awesome fashionista knows how to dress appropriately for a formal occasion. What you consider edgy just reads to the rest of the gathering as “clueless” or even “rebellious.” When I see it, what it broadcasts to me is, “needs to grow up.”
That’s worth a “preach it” and an “Amen!”
Amen on your points that this is a formal occasion and that it’s not all about you. What about rocking some awesome red shoes with the clerical blacks?
THERE ya go! There are many ways to do “beautiful” “appropriate” and “still me” without drawing negative attention.
Thank you for guiding me to a classy choice.
Pastor Christie
Auntie PB, I *wish* my experience was that those old enough to know better dressed more appropriately, but sadly, it’s just not what I’m seeing.
I don’t comment much at all, I only “lurk” but I really just wanted to say Thank You Peacebang for your ministry.
I’m a pump, wedge, stiletto girl and I have a hard time with the Jesus sandals and Euro-clogs. I respect that other women express their gender differently than I do, and that comfort and foot health are important for women and men. I just don’t think birkenstocks, tevas, crocs or their knockoffs look good under albs or at the table. Ugh! Having been ordained twice in the African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church and twice in the Episcopal Church I have some data on how my choices have changed with age: Deacon (28) – structured dress with cream top and long black skirt, modest black pumps. Elder (30) – custom black African traditional tunic and long skirt, modest black pumps. Deacon (41) – long black jacket dress, vicious 3 inch pointy toe and heel black patent pumps and black pearls. Priest (42) – wine knee length dress and jacket, knee high wine stretch pointy toe and heel boots with Victorian garnet carbuncles. Very interesting.
I do tend to be more of a comfy-shoe gal. But I highly recommend both Ecco and Sofft pumps. They might not qualify as “fierce,” but I have a couple of pairs of peep-toe in different colors and a closed-toe black pair that I can wear all day. If you gave up on high heels a few years ago, try on some of the new comfort lines — and consider gel inserts as well. Your Mileage May Vary if you have a foot injury – but technology has progressed quite a bit since that day in 1989 when I vowed I’d never wear hurty shoes.
It’s times like this when I’m grateful that my denomination has clerics to wear. At both my deaconing and priesting I wore a suit…skirt with pantyhose, clerical shirt with roman collar and then had on a white alb that goes to my ankle. All that was seen were my feet. The Bishop forbade me from being barefoot (long story) so I wore black exercise shoes, the kind with the crossover elastic at the top of the foot. At the deaconing we processed in with our stoles over one arm. At the end of the service we were wearing our deacon stoles. At the priesting we wore our stoles in and left wearing chausables and stoles.
More and more students are opting for all black under their robes, which is great. I think the fabulous shoe is awesome and a great way to express oneself, without being an attention whore. That said, it is imperative that the shoes are clean, polished and the person wearing them can walk in them.
Ministry is about the other, not the self, and ordination should be a first indicator of that.
Thanks as always for your pearls of wisdom PB. Amen!
Agreed with Andrea. For both my ordination to the diaconate and the priesthood, I wore a skirt suit under my vestments. One was a beige color (Tahari), the other a black and white woven linen blend (Calvin Klein). For my ordination to the priesthood, I did wear some nude-colored patent leather heels that were a little more “me,” and some red sparkly nail polish for the Holy Spirit.