You know how you come to end of one of those weeks where you had a lot of sad, upsetting counseling sessions with people from the wider community whose plight is so complicated and circumstances so challenging that all you could do was stay on the phone (or in the study) with whoever it was, mostly just listening and being in solidarity with how crappy things are for them? And you feel super depressed about the things that never go away like addiction and emotional violence and depression and people lying their heads off and economic struggles and you think, “Well. I better check my email” because that seems like one constructive, tangible thing you can do?
Then you get a promotional e-mail from Planet Shoes or some online mega store and you click on the link, and you find yourself laughing way out of proportion to how funny it actually is that there’s a new category of shoes called
ATHLEISURE??
Yea, ATHLEISURE. Imagine saying that with a straight face in regular conversation.
“Oh, I was wondering if you could point me toward your ATHLEISURE section.”
“Those are adorable ATHLEISURE sneaker-clogs, Mary!”
This is the sort of item that makes it into the ATHLEISURE category:
Men’s Vivobarefoot Neo Mesh. WELL, pardon me with your fancy name:
This gorgeous style is called Groundhog Popeye. If you ever want to send PeaceBang to the place where people go when they can no longer function, just show up to an event wearing these and introduce yourself to me. Have an ambulance ready:
WHO WEARS SOMETHING THIS UGLY. EVER. AND WHY. Those are rhetorical questions. That’s why there’s no question mark after them.
Oh, hey, now this is confusing. It’s an uncomfortable wedge shoe cleverly disguised as a comfy sneaker. How is this “athleisure,” I wonder. If you walk for exercise in these, you’ll break an ankle. If you enjoy leisure time in these, you’ll have a 3″ wedge to deal with. I sort of don’t hate it in black but again, the categorization issue. Too sneakery to be cute, too high to be comfortable.
NEXT!
I love these Chaco shoes for men, all strapped and buckled up like we’re going someplace real rugged, like up a mountain, except it’s really just across the parking lot to pick up our kid from Swimnastics. What is that all about, Chaco? Who do you think you’re kidding? They’re athl… oh, no, wait. These are definitely leisure.
Finally — and this is how dangerous a condition you can get yourself into after a week of too many encounters with pastoral helplessness — these fascinating hybrids from Dansko that you might, in your vulnerable state, kind of find cute. They’re KEDS and they’re CLOGS. They’re KEDCLOGS. They’re KEDOGS. I don’t know. They’re not athletic, and I don’t really see how they’re leisure (they’d be cute for nurses in a pediatric care unit)… maybe “Athleisure” is the new, handy euphemism for “So danged ugly we didn’t know where to put ’em.”
I dunno… I also had a week of counseling people in great, great pain wrapped up with an unintentional public dig from a colleague (who honestly didn’t think about how what she wrote would come across) and so the sneaker wedges look kinda cute to me… with jeans and a cozy hoodie sweater and a vest on a casual date with your guy or girlfriends to a coffee shop or one of those places where you eat pork belly family style. Yeah. I want a pair now, and I am going to take my jeans and cozy hoodie and call up some girlfriends for a date as soon as they arrive.
Will it go against all your principles to ask you to post the link to the sneaker wedges? Either that, or I’m going to DSW! 🙂
[Done! I added it as a link. They ARE kinda cute. I just don’t want to have to tie clogs. Let us know how you like them. – PB]
They’re Kegs! Which is what you need after a week like this.
The first pair- if a guy asked me out who was wearing them I’d turn him down just over the shoes anyone wearing those just isn’t my type
As the song says “Put on your high heel sneakers, Mama, ’cause we’re goin’ out tonight..”
What’s so wrong about pair two…?
Although not included in your inquiry here — I have been looking for months for a smallish (in volume) walking shoe. Everything is really really voluminous. I already have big feet (11s) and I can’t wear much of a heel and I need some support. I want something that looks kind of like a jazz shoe but with some support and that I can wear with a nice pair of slacks for professional events and not look like a 68 year old woman in orthopedic shoes. Maybe I need to look in the Athleisure department more thoroughly.