Shoes (Guys) – Beauty Tips For Ministers

November 21, 2018November 21, 2018

Be Pure Of Sole

Hello honey heads, how have you been?

There you are at the thing: the meeting, the service, the protest, the potluck. You have washed up and shined up and showed up. You are engaged. You are grateful and gracious.

You have put together an outfit that you feel respects the occasion. You have ironed your shirt. You have chosen outerwear that reflects your leadership role and is a a few steps above a squall parka. You have brushed the dandruff and animal fur off of your shoulders.

When you did your head-to-toe prayerful preparation for where you needed to be, did you get all the way down to your feet?

I have almost forgotten to review my feet a few times recently and came close to attending an important occasions with mud on my boot heels. I really would have been mortified if someone had noticed the dirt, and I know someone would have. That is not okay. Even in this cursed generation of leggings worn as pants, dirty shoes at solemn occasions is not acceptable unto the Lord.

Microfiber cloths are a fantastic way to clean up your shoes and boots. I have a stack of white ones in my bathroom for make-up removal (they’re miraculous at getting rid of everything, even mascara, with just warm water!) and they work great with a little water or micellar water on dirty or dusty shoes. The micellar water is also a gentle make-up remover but works as a nice face freshener (I like to wipe it under my eyes after a nap or long day) or on any leather products.

Now, if you’re wearing lug soles, please do not come into any building tracking dirt. If muddy hiking boots are your usual workaday wear because you’re doing ministry in a rural environment (and if you’re not, you have no excuse for wearing muddy hiking boots!), take them off in church and have shoes to change into. That also goes for social events in people’s homes, restaurants, community centers, houses of worship and Knights of Columbus halls. Unless you’re doing a part-time ministry with a side gig as a lumberjack, don’t wear muddy hiking boots while pastoring. You ain’t that rugged.

Annie Spratt from Unsplash

July 30, 2016July 30, 2016

Flip Flops and Other Footwear Wrongnesses

Well darlings, you KNOW that someone sent this Boston Globe article to PeaceBang knowing that she would crow in solidarity and total agreement!

HELL, YEA. Flip flops do not belong on adult feet unless those feet are headed to the beach, into a shower, or into the backyard. This is PeaceBang’s attempt to speak for Beauty. Beauty does not shuffle along on dirty soles that skid along the pavement and give dignified persons the gait of a drunken cow. Flip flops are ugliness incarnate, unsafe and unsanitary.

But I also wanted to mention a much less objectionable choice of footwear, which are the new woven elasticized shoes that Bernie Mev has made so popular.

Cute, right?
Comfy, right?
A little frumpy, sure, but not so bad, right?

Nothing wrong with that, right?

Two things:

1. Be careful in these. Your foot is not stable in that material, so unless you have strong ankles and feet, avoid them for anything that requires your being on your feet or walking much.

2. These shoes are cute. They’re fine for most things a minister would do in the course of the day but they are not appropriate for formal rites of passage or your most serious professional appearances. They are also not safe for wear in situations that require you to wear close-toed shoes, such as serving in a soup kitchen and possibly working in a hospital, but I would check on the latter.

Don’t let me catch any of y’all burying someone in any open-toed or cloth shoes. You know better than that, right?

NO ESPADRILLES. Too casual. Too summery.

NOT EVEN LEATHER ESPADRILLES.

NO TOM’S.

NO DADDY BOAT SHOES.

THESE SPERRY TOPSIDERS ARE FINE.

I’m still thinking about the funeral that minister did in madras shorts and I think, Yea, better say it just in case.

November 23, 2013

Navy Pants and Black Shoes

Pigeons!
Anna writes with this burning question!

What color shoes go with navy slacks?
I have a pair of navy slacks, and I need to know what shoes to go with them. All of my nice winter shoes are either black or brown–I like playing with shoe style more than shoe color, because color can really limit you on what you pair with it. Only three of my pairs of shoes are brown–medium light thick heels, medium dark stompy/masculine lace up shoes with tan accents, and dark brown skechers that are sort of like ballet flats. None of them seem quite right for navy pants … but black doesn’t seem right for navy, either. Does the “don’t pair black and navy!” rule go for shoes, too?

Dear Anna,

First of all, a picture is worth a thousand words, and even with your descriptive powers I am unable to imagine the pants and the shoes without images. Always feel free to send photos to PeaceBang, as she is now wildly curious about the brown stompy shoes with tan accents look like! Are they wing-tips? Combat boots? What’s up? The dark brown Sketchers leave a little less to the imagination and I’m pretty sure I know the exact shoes you’re referring to.

There is no reason in the world not to wear black with navy blue — in fact, it can look very sharp. PeaceBang always makes sure to have a scarf with black and navy in it together so she can rock the navy skirt/slacks black shoes combo and feel like she’s thematically tied together but that’s just her.

As in all things, it’s all about textures, styles, materials and cut. I personally loathe dark brown shoes (it’s a quirk) unless they’re boots, as I think dark brown leather is dowdy for most women’s shoe styles. Crazy, I know. But I own no dark brown shoes.

My recommendation for people who don’t love the combination of navy and brown or navy and black is to invest in a pair of taupe or grey shoes. Or for women, why not plum? Or metallic? Be interesting! If the shoe is formal enough, you can get away with all sorts of gorgeous colors for preaching.

Plum!

Taupe!

Grey!

November 4, 2013

Clarks Makes Some Nice Guy Shoes!

Well, hey, fellas!

I dig these shoes! And you might too. They’re by Clarks, a brand that hasn’t been known for snappiness but has a good reputation for quality and comfort.
Wouldn’t it be nice to get all three in one pair?

July 31, 2012

Canvass Shoes

I’m sorry (not really, but you already knew that), but these shoes and their ilk are not suitable for professional wear in any context.

By all means, buy the shoes and wear them in good health for a good cause on your days off. Just know that they are the footwear equivalent of pajamas and do not adequately communicate the responsibilities of your role in the community. “Oh, hey, I came here in my BEDROOM SLIPPERS to discuss the urgent issues of poverty and hunger in town.”

It’s fine to purchase clothing that speaks to your values. It’s not not always fine to wear them in a professional context.