Posts in category The Naughty Corner

Dressing For Leadership: A Rant

Jun13
2013 4 Comments Written by PeaceBang

This is upsetting. I have saved it for awhile so as to not post it immediately after the event that the Concerned Writer is reporting. I have done a little bit of editing for content and clarity.

I don’t know if I need someone to publicly acknowledge this, or if I just need to vent…I am a ____ pastor in ____ and we are in the middle of our [big, important assemblage].
This year, we are electing a new bishop. There was only one female among the top candidates. In our process, the top candidates are each given a short amount of time to address the assembly. She knew she was going to be a prospective candidate; many people would say she was “campaigning” to be bishop.
I did not care for her as a candidate, but I wanted her to represent well as the only female.
She didn’t even wear her clerical collar!!!

My anger and frustration is that we are in a [district/synod/presbytery/conference] that has had difficultly with women in positions of power, and she knew she was going to be a candidate and she didn’t even look the part! She was wearing a long flowing skirt and cotton top, semi-casual. It was insulting to the office of Bishop and a betrayal of all the women there.
This is not something we can do anything about now – it’s over — but I just needed someone to hear my frustration. Thank you for giving me a chance to vent and blessings to you as you keep up this amazing ministry.

I hear you, sister. Rant away. I would have been furious!
I am not sure what happened here. How could a woman who has been campaigning for such an important position and promotion not only forego the visible symbol of her priesthood, but dress for a picnic?

A flowy skirt is not appropriate for any woman who wants to be taken seriously in a professional capacity. It’s fine for a day at the office, it’s fine to wear to a social outing in the parish, it’s fine for a conference where you’re not presenting — and if you are, pair it with nice shoes (no sandals) and a structured jacket. A flowy skirt, unless it is in a formal fabric, is an informal garment. It is not business casual. It is NOT bishop-elect wear.

What was this woman thinking? Was the candidate trying to underplay her authority in order not to threaten the sexist contingent? BIG MISTAKE. Was she trying to seem non-threatening, fun and feminine? BIG MISTAKE. Did her luggage get lost? Is she allergic to nice pants and a handsome jacket? We’ll never know. We can, however, feature the first female bishop of Australia, the Venerable Kay Goldsworthy here and say, “This is what a bishop looks like.”

YES, Ma’am with your fabulous hair and make-up, poise and power:

Vibrant, alive, exuding charisma in a simple black suit, sheer hose and her collar. Serving up ordained fierceness. Go ye and do likewise. Leave the flowy skirts for casual occasions.

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Posted in Mutually Supportive Ranting

Funeral Attire and Decorum

Apr10
2013 19 Comments Written by PeaceBang

Once we’re on the television, my dears, it’s all public. It’s out there. So you may not like or approve of my criticism of this colleague, but she was on television and therefore is a part of the public record for clergy image. Someone was so appalled by her appearance that they snapped video footage on their iPhone and sent it to me. I have blurred out the minister’s face and the station identification for the news channel. This isn’t about one individual. It is an example that we can learn from.

I am going to simply list the issues here and try to keep my emotion out of it. I happen to be very close friends with many firefighters and with my own town’s Fire Chief, and the idea of someone showing up dressed like this at one of their funerals makes me sick at heart. The first funeral I did in my current settlement was for the retired Fire Chief of my town. It was August and I wore a black suit. Being hot or uncomfortable was not a consideration. And that was a retired firefighter, not one killed in the line of duty. For God’s sake, it’s a fallen firefighter!

Okay, I obviously can’t keep my emotions out of this. Allons.

1. This look is inappropriately informal for a funeral, even if the minister is offering a reading and not presiding.
2. I cannot think of an occasion whereupon it would be appropriate to wear short-sleeved turquoise clericals to preside at a funeral. Maybe for someone who is an extreme free spirit whose cremated remains are being scattered in the forest or distributed into the wind from a boat. Certainly not on this occasion.
3. If the fire department can show up looking impeccable in uniform, so can we. Nothing about this outfit suggests professional uniform. It suggests casual day of ministry with a stole thrown on top.
4. Please know that showing up dressed so sloppily is a slap in the face of the fire department and the fire fighter that people will notice and not forget. We should all know this about para-military and military culture. To serve well in public ministry at such moments of gravity is to understand and respect the norms and expectations of the community and the moment. This attire shows a complete failure of understanding and respect.

5. As the person who sent me the clip said, this is the first time many of the Catholic fire fighters would be seeing an ordained woman on duty. That she is dressed so inappropriately reflects badly on women clergy. Like it or not, we have a representational function as well as a religious one.

That is all. I rant because I care.

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Posted in What To Wear To Rites of Passage

Angry About Pleated Pants

Mar24
2013 13 Comments Written by PeaceBang

I just saw this on a friend’s Facebook page. He is a young man and he is angry, people. He is not going to remain silent ANY LONGER. I am going to share his outraged rant as he wrote it with typos and all because they are his authentic voice. And I hope you will snort coffee out of your nose as I did upon reading what he has to say:

After my third glass of wine ive become violently angry about pleats in mens pants!!!! All the guys that work at Barnes and Nobles either need a beat down or an intervention.. Right now im leaning towards a beat down but i think thats the wine talking.. Please please for the love of all thar is holy stop wearing pleats!! Where do you even get a pleated pants these day?? Do they even sell them anymore?? I mean really!! IM ANGRY!!

We all have our crusades, my friends. Please help my friend in his effort to eradicate the evil of pleated pants from our world. Bless you.

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Posted in Men's Clothing, Mutually Supportive Ranting, Tips For The Menfolk

Fashion Nervous Breakdown

Mar21
2013 4 Comments Written by PeaceBang

It’s snowing again.
A. Gain.
We have had constant snow and storms since late January and all the good-natured “Hey, we survived!” “Hey, spring is here!” “Hey, we sure are going to have quite a clean-up this spring!” “Hey, anyone with a chain saw is going to be really popular around here!” remarks have given way to grunting expletives as we dig out the car again, pull on the snow boots again, bundle the kids up again, and wipe the dogs’ paws off again. I was feeling like I’m not ready for Easter and then it occurred to me that an early Easter will be wonderful, as there is that psychic shift that comes at that point in the year when we say, “Easter is past, spring is definitely HERE!”
It betta be.

Anyway, I had a Fashion Nervous Breakdown yesterday — for which I can only blame the dreary weather and austere New England landscape — and arrived at the church office looking like a very generously-proportioned Easter egg. With a mop on its head (!?).

Click to enlarge.

What you can’t see in this photo is that I was wearing turquoise stockings.

Yes, I repent.

And I have put myself in the Naughty Corner.

It won’t happen again.

By the way, I am very happy with my Warby Parker glasses. They cost a third of what I would have paid at the optician, and Warby Parker donates one pair of glasses for each one that they sell.