Rumpled Messes

Let’s talk about this image of the Trump team (with Lewandowski in the front giving finger guns to the press):

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Click to enlarge, darlings.

They’re rumpled. They look like a team of mobsters. Everything about their decorum says they don’t have any.
The men’s suits don’t fit. Omarosa Manigault’s dress is a ruched mess and even if she is pregnant, as rumors suggest, there is no excuse to show up at an event honoring veterans in that kind of unstructured party dress. Sorry, O, the red shoes and blue dress patriotism colors don’t excuse your disrespectful attire.

The men are equally disrespectful with wrinkles and untucked shirts and ties flying way down from where they should be. Just because your boss wears his tie way too low doesn’t mean you should play follow-the-dumb-leader.

Bunch of thugs.

You wonder why PeaceBang is always harping on crisp, ironed, good posture and protocol? This is why. Don’t you dare roll up anywhere looking like this. It screams, “I don’t care and I don’t need to respect you, my role, or this moment.”

Compare and contrast:

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But since we’re looking at rumpled messes, let’s reach across the aisle. Here’s an image from the Obama era.

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This is why I try not to be photographed from a seated position. It’s a natural rumplizer, and no one needs that for a formal photo. Hells bells, no one needs that for an INformal photo!

The Latest Hideosity in Skirt Styles

What in tarnation?

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I don’t know if slim and petite ladies are seeing this particular “cut” of skirt in their catalogs and on the rack lately, but PeaceBang has spotted it on the plus-size circuit and thinks it’s LUDICROUS.

Why would a gal want a big chunk sliced out of her hemline like that? What is the point? It makes sitting without displaying one’s tender private bits all the more difficult and who in tarnation needs that? I’m so upset I’ve used the word tarnation twice in one post!

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OH, SURE, why don’t we just create an optical illusion that leads the eye right up to Ye Olde Crotch? THAT’s flattering.Screen Shot 2017-05-10 at 4.43.58 PM

Heavens, isn’t that better?

Perfect Clothes For Our Dystopian Reality

I just can’t. No.

These — garments? — are made for a company called Universal Standard. I would like to know the universal standard for WHAT?

I discovered these lovers of women through a Facebook ad that touted this as their bestselling dress. This.
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The blah neckline. The most unflattering sleeves ever. The lack of a waist. The “I accidentally tucked the hem of my dress into my underwear when I went to pee” hemline.
I was doing okay today. I was actually doing okay.

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HEY, here’s a — dress? They just call it a dress. Because you know. A dress!

Screen Shot 2017-02-02 at 12.33.52 AM Also totally sheer for no reason at all. Cool, okay, I would definitely wear this out of the house, ever.

Here’s a sweater that will definitely work for those days you want to be able to release the alien baby that’s ripping its way through your abdomen real fast.

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JUST BIG ZIPPERS ON DRAB SWEATSHIRTS. I’ll take one in every color!

The model is so happy. I want to be that happy. Please send me one of these lovely sweatshirts that looks exactly like the one my grandfather used to wear when he was cleaning the basement. Do you have the old diaper I can use to tie up my hair, too?
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That’s quite a confident stance. She must not have seen what she’s wearing yet. Probably got dressed in the dark.

And here, my friends, is the mustard yellow/magenta ensemble of your dreams!
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That top was designed by someone as a cry for help. That is the only possible explanation.

These garments are apparently made of some kind of beautiful Peruvian cotton or silk. Did you see those prices? For the price of a few of these garments you can actually go to Peru and escape Donald Trump AND these ghastly garments. If you’re looking for beautiful silk clothing, be sure to check out rosefulbright.

Go take a nice warm bath or buy yourself a bunch of tulips. You’ll feel better.
I’m sorry I had to inflict this sadness upon you but I wasn’t strong enough to cope with it myself.
Thank you for your bravery.

Dresses You Might Consider

When you want to passive-aggressively suggest that you need a mental health vacation:

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When your boobs need deserve their very own neon pink runway!
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When you’re afraid your shoulders will get too warm AND you want to gift wrap your boobs:
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When you want to serve up some sparkly Lenten realness on Good Friday, because otherwise, such a dreary day, amirite?
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When you’re like, “Christ is Risen and all I got was this flowers and birdies schmatta!”
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When you want to reassure everyone that they shouldn’t feel threatened by your graduate degrees and leadership experience cuz you’re really just there to make pipe cleaner ornaments with everyone:

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All these frocks courtesy of the good people at Eloquii.