What Should She Wear To Preside?

Good morning, Whoopie Pies!

How ADORABLE are all of you with Curly Hair Advice? My goodness, I feel like I have dozens of Hairy Godmothers out there, just ready to swoop in with product and styling recommendations any time. I’m still Fearing The Cut, as my hair loses much of its wave when there’s less humidity in the air, but life must go on. I purchased a KMS curl-enhancing product and I do own a diffuser. I will indeed report on my progress. I haven’t dared wash my nogging yet but today is the day. I have a big fancy event to attend tomorrow evening and I have learned that freshly washed hair is a big Invitation to Frizz, so there’s that.

In other personal self-care news, I rejoined my gym this week because I was feeling like a SLUG. I used to feel that I got enough exercise walking my beagle, but since he must sniff everything on the path, we don’t go at a very brisk pace. Lately I haven’t even been walking him much, truth to tell. I just walk him around the yard to get all his bathroom needs cared for and then take him to the cemetery in town where he runs around and plays. He tears about and I amble slowly around like a farm animal. It’s not very aerobic. So it was time to get honest about that.

ANYhoo, this question came in and I wanted to answer it. Our Inquiring Student asks,

Dear Peacebang,
First off, just let me convey how awkward it is for me to tell you that I LOVE your ministerial fashion blog– as a young, married, want-to-be-a-clergyman-when-I-grow-up collegiate student, fashion wasn’t really on my mind until I first came across this blog. Keep up the, as you say, FABULOUS work.
Secondly, I was hoping I could get some customized advice. A good friend of mine has asked me to officiate an interfaith wedding, my first one ever. My first instinct is to simply wear a black clerical shirt, dark trousers, and my best unscuffed shoes. I’ll gladly defer to your wisdom, however, if you have any suggestions for someone who is pear-shaped and six feet tall.

Dear Lovely Tall Lady,
Please don’t feel awkward about telling PeaceBang that you LOVE her blog! What, are you kidding me? What’s to be awkward about? The only danger there is that I will throw my arms around your waist from way down in Shortyville and knock you over.

Now, for your question.

First of all, the archives are full of ideas of what to wear to weddings. I should have started a category strictly for weddings long ago, but I didn’t. Try doing a blog search of “weddings” (up in the righthand corner of the screen you should see a little box that says “search in blog”) and see what comes up.

Second, a wedding is a festive, beautiful, special occasion and therefore, pants and clericals are just not going to cut it. I picture you in that outfit and I think, gee, that’s kind of a bummer.

I would much rather see you in a tailored dress and jacket than a boring old black shirt and pants. There’s no reason to wear a collar –and since you seem to not be ordained or working as a chaplain, it’s not really appropriate anyway. You’ve been asked to function as a minister and presumably you’re licensed to act as such for this occasion; don’t fall into the newbie trap of thinking you need some external validation of being clergy (especially if you’re not yet clergy!).

I see you in a lovely tailored skirt or dress and jacket and flat shoes (I hope “unscuffed” isn’t the highest praise you can tender on behalf of all your shoes — aren’t there any that are beautiful? That you LOVE? That are perfect for a special occasion?). I think of myself as a backdrop for the marrying couple when I preside at a wedding: which means that I wear only solid colors and no patterns, keep my garments dressy but tailored, and make sure I am impeccably groomed. After all, you’ll be in those photographs for the rest of those folks’ lives.

Let us know what you decide! Send photos, even!

Kiss of peace, PB

[THIS JUST IN: PeaceBang is a TOTAL DINGBAT. This was written by a man. So, um, scratch that advice about wearing a skirt. Oh, my my my. Well darling, you don’t need to wear a suit but I would certainly get out the sports jacket and tie. *blush* – PB]