Seemed Like a Good Idea At the Time: Hair Rant

Okay, pigeons! It’s time to play, “I Thought This Haircut Would Work On Me!”

You’ve played this, right?
You choose a haircut out of a magazine or you see it on someone and you say, “That’s what I want MY hair to look like! Please, Mr. or Ms. Stylist, cut my hair and make it go like THAT!”

And then you wind up with a ‘do that either…

a) looks like a hot mess;
b) winds up being very style-intensive to get it to do what you want it to do;
c) winds up requiring tons of different products to get it to look like anything, or;
d) ends up fine.

Now, you must understand that PeaceBang is not one to obsess too much about hair. She knows that it grows, and she cuts and colors her own with confidence that whatever hideousness may result on occasion, change is good and hair does grow back. And if it doesn’t grow back for some reason, we can start investigating the beauty of silk scarves and turbans.

But for some reason my usual attitude has totally failed me today.
I went to a salon yesterday with a friend who was getting treatments for her birthday and saw a young stylist with EXACTLY the hair cut I have been wanting for myself. It is a sort of long, shaggy bob with blunt angles and a slightly longer front than back. I have been letting my hair grow for a year, so I knew I had enough length to do it.

I have not had even medium long hair since college, so it may be that I was more emotionally attached to my longer hair than I thought. It may be that my longer hair was a wonderful memory of my sabbatical, when I wore pigtails and ponytails on my foreign travels and threw my hair back in a clip while it dried. It may be that my longer hair represented something to me about femininity or freedom, since it required no styling or drying with a blow dryer.

I should have thought about this before I had a gal named Kirsten chop my ponytail off yesterday.

I also should have remembered that my hair has a lot of wave in it, and realize that Kirsten’s shaggy, sexy, layered bob would become a total Curl Crime Scene on my own head as soon as the humidity hit it.

new-haircut-good
Looks not bad, right? Kind of cute, even?

Just a lucky shot. This haircut is going to have me looking like a totally bedraggled mess on Sunday mornings.
new-haircut-014
Oh, hai! That’s actually not a worm crawling across my face, it’s just mah HAHR. Also, do ya love my frizzy layers stickin’ sideways out my haid? ME TOO! Praise the lord n’ thanks fer comin!

Please, help. Tips? I’ve tried it with a headband: NOT good. I’ve pulled it back: meh. Am I fated to blow this sucker out straight every day? I’m wicked uncoordinated with a blowdryer and even worse with a hot iron (although I do own one).

30 Replies to “Seemed Like a Good Idea At the Time: Hair Rant”

  1. Well as a fellow curly haired girl I feel your pain. 😛

    Here’s a website I found that might help: http://cherikinney.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html

    She has some pretty good advice for curly hair. I tried her technique and found I did end up with big loose curls, basically zero frizz, etc. It is a bit of work (at least with my hair that is half way down my back) but would be a LOT less of an issue with your bob. Hope something there helps!

  2. My hair is just a bit curlier than yours. I twist/pin it back with bobby pins in a sort of messy updo on extra frizzy days. Sometimes I add a hairband or scarf for the Greek goddess look.

    P.S. My new favorite curly hair product is Kinky Curly…very good at minimizing the frizzies and producing smooth curls and waves. [I LOVE the Greek goddess look. I hope this new ‘do is long enough and not too boxy on the bottom to do that. – PB]

  3. That cut is VERY good on you!

    My hair is longer and also has razor cut shaggy layers. It will also tend to frizz and stick out like yours when the humidity hits it. Never fear – Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Styling Wax to the rescue! You only need a little in the palm of your hand – rub your hands together being sure to get some product on the tips of your fingers, and run your fingers through your (DRY!) hair but avoid the scalp. With the tips of your fingers you can give extra smoothing to the most offensive pieces. It smells good and dries quickly. Give it a try! No other styling wax I’ve tried comes close to this.

  4. I miss your longer hair, too. But although you aren’t crazy about this ‘do, you still look good, PB. And it will grow out. And the weather is cooling down, so good time for hair dryers. I don’t have any advice, though, unfortunately. I have black people hair.

  5. I’d blow it out. Get some good stuff that smoothes or straightens, and just devote the time and energy to blow it out a couple of times a week. some sort of finishing balm and/or spray might be of use also. Thankfully it’s cooler weather coming and you might not have to do it every day.

    I’m notorious for getting my hair cut impulsively, and I have slightly wavy hair with a mind of its’ own, so I’ve totally been there.

  6. Funny, my hair goes stick-straight as soon as the cooler (drier) weather starts… I envy you if yours stays curly. Grass is always greener.

  7. Consider embracing the curl. Put curling gel in until it grows enough to stop offending your sensibilities. This would be the easy way out.

  8. The cut is cute. It’s all in finding the right product. I use Fixative by Image. But it took me several to find the right one.

  9. One word: Aveda. use either Be Curly curl enhancer (not the other product in the line, it’s useless) or the Brilliant humectant pomade to control frizz.
    OR, Frizz-Ease is a pretty good product you can find at many stores, I think.

    the book Curly Girls is clearly for you. google! 🙂

    I think the haircut is adorable and you should stick with it. that’s my two cents!

  10. I think it looks gorgeous, in both pix. But as a stick straight hair kinda gal, I’ll ever ENVY the curls of others (lo though you call it Frizz). Can’t ever understand why anyone would want to “blow out” natural waves – just as others might not understand all those sinful perms in the 1980’s…

    Guess hairtheology didn’t end with Samson and Delilah…

  11. I think I will be bringing YOUR picture to my stylist the next time I go in. Wow! (She will probably remind me that I part my hair in the middle like some 12 yo hippie chick, but there you go.)

    I must also recommend Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum; it is lovely for me at getting out the frizzies. When I take the effort to blow dry and straighten (it’s all or nothing here), it helps keep the frizzies away. On ordinary days, it makes the frizzies happily manageable.

  12. ahhh yes. julia roberts’ haircut from the mexican. i used to have this haircut and i think it looks good on you. but here are the rulz:

    1)never… NEVER brush your hair unless you are in the shower and are about to wash your hair. no brushing after washing. never.

    2)quit using conditioner

    3)get a product called “bedhead”

    4)don’t dry your hair, not even with a diffuser. after you shower, scrunch the bedhead in, and let your hair dry on its own.

    good luck!!!

  13. The cut is wonderful, but your styling product doesn’t have enough oomph. I’ve had great luck with the 5.00 a bottle curl enhancer from fX at Wal-mart. It has just enough magnesium sulfate in it to close the cuticle on your hair and increase the curl, while it’s firm enough hold that there is no frizz–even in Oklahoma in the summertime.

  14. I was going to say to try a diffuser….My curl texture is totally different that way and I thought maybe it would work to see. Maybe it would be just curly enough for you to think it was cuter and not “bedraggled”.

    But…I think its cute.

  15. I think your hair is adorable! I think you should take pride in the beautiful hair God has given you! The media and our culture has done a good job of making people with curly hair feel less than professional and groomed. Curly hair is a blessing, not a curse and you look beautiful. I have curly hair, and although it can have those frizzy days, it makes up for it by not having to spend hours and hours styling on other days when it just looks good as is. The key to curly hair is remembering that it is not straight hair and must be taken care of differently. As was stated in a previous comment, DO NOT BRUSH YOUR HAIR. NEVER EVER. Use a hair pick to lightly adjust the curls when it is dry. Thoroughly comb it when it is wet and let it air dry. Putting hair gel into it right after you get out of the shower helps with curl definition and frizz prevention. Avoid hair gel with alcohol. Avoid washing your hair everyday if you can help it (curly hair is dry and fragile). I’ll tell you what- – I recently became frustrated with hair gels that weigh down my hair and create build-up so I recently began experimenting with using unflavored gelatin. 1/4 tsp to 1/4 boiling water- store it in the fridge and take a small dab and work it into your wet hair. My hair has never been happier. I made peace with my curly hair in my teens and wouldn’t go any other way.

    You look adorable.

  16. I have hair with a bit of wave and last year cut it from below my shoulder blades to a short bob, too. Many days I blow it straight. The flat iron isn’t always that great- at this length, the straightness hits my bone structure oddly.

    The sideways layers, though… A genius hairdresser once explained that if she cut my hair in the spot I requested, it would be in the middle of the curl and would always stick out. She cut it just below the curl for a much easier cut. Kristen probably just cut in the middle of your curls. Give it a week and it’ll start behaving as the curl grows through. It happens to the best of us!

    PS- salon employees can get a pro blowout every day. of course their hair always looks perfect!

  17. Remembering your suggestions about sharing “important event” outfits, I wonder if you have friends with whom you can swap samples of hair care products? I found a brand that works for me–the Marc Anthony line of “Simply Curls” products–and then decided to try to find something less expensive. Bad Idea. I could send you half-used bottles and tubes of things that just aren’t satisfactory, since I’ve found what I really like.
    Check out the manufacturer’s websites on the products you’re considering, then take the plunge. And, as others have said–no brushing(or combing) after using the styling products.

  18. (Wow, this got more rambly than I expected. Whoops! Enjoy!)

    As another chica with the wavy-curly-frizzy hair, I have played that game all too often. I am also of the it-grows-back mentality, in that my hair flips from short to long on a seasonal basis (two years ago my hair was down lower than my shoulderblades, last year it was above my ears, and now it’s just at my shoulders). That nasty game happened much more often with my old stylist (a delightful man who’d been cutting my hair since I was three, who mostly cut and styled for the over-seventy-super-fine-in-curlers set, and I was the only person under fifty in his salon, EVER), and I soon figured out a solution.

    First of all, I’m honest about my hair when I see great pictures. That fabulous, super-blunt bob that cropped up (Victoria Beckham, Katie Holmes) would NEVER work on my waves, and I accepted it and moved on. Personally, I take pictures to the stylist, tell them what I love about a style, point at my wavy, unruly mop, and ask them how THAT can work on THIS. My new, fabulous stylist usually describes a couple modifications, explains the maintenance (this is where I remind her that I’m a wash-n-go kind of girl, as much as possible), and off we go. The last couple times that I’ve gone, I’ve told her what I’m looking for, ask her what SHE thinks looks good (she’s the expert, and she’s seen wavy-curly hair in good and bad styles everywhere), and trust her. And I’ve LOVED the results. But that’s preventative care for the future, what to do now….

    First, the good: your color is fabulous, fabulous, FABULOUS, and I love it. Bright, brassy, not un-ministerial. Faboo.

    Now, the trouble: I see what you mean about the sometimes-cute, sometimes-mess. I think the right product will make a world of difference (see others’ fabulous suggestions, wowza!). I think you could spend a solid afternoon in front of the mirror with some clips, headbands, scarfs, and hair ties, playing around (though you probably already did this). Maybe half-up, half-down? Barrettes on one side with a 40’s twist (like so?)? Scarves, headbands? Best of luck, and show us pictures when you figure it out. 🙂

    [Oh, I LOVE Scar-Jo’s MAKE-UP in that photo, too! – PB]

  19. oops– that product line is “Strictly Curls”, not Simply. Also, I recommend using one of the Neutrogena shampoos that mentions “no build-up” on the label. These products get your hair squeaky clean, and remove the residue of other products, so you aren’t just adding layers of different things.

  20. I tend to love vintage hair styles – a lot of them involved tucking up your hair into a pretty scarf. If you have a mad hair day, may I recommend that?

    But I have to admit that first picture is adorable! So cute and fresh! Good luck with your locks 🙂

  21. I’ve got waves, but I’m a straightning addict I’m afraid. I think your hair looks lovely, it is a nice cut, suits your face nad I love the colour! It’s all good! 🙂

  22. Another (very, very) curly-haired woman here, echoing much of the same advice: I shampoo only every 3 days or so (but always condition); never use brush or comb, but only fingers; and highly recommend either Bumble & Bumble Curl Conscious (pricey) or Aveda Be Curly (slightly less pricey).

    Right before 4th grade, I got my hair cut short because I wanted to look like Nancy Drew on the cover of “The Kachina Doll Mystery.” Yeah. That didn’t really work.

  23. I’ve got wavy curly hair, and product I swear by (I dunno, it’s silver and pricy and I buy it at the salon)… but my advice is: Go back to the salon. Explain to the stylist that you’re having trouble with the cut and ask for her advice/intervention.

    My stylist always offers to fix a cut for free if there’s anything I don’t like about it. Adding in a little more layering or trimming around my face, or whatever.

  24. It is indeed a cute cut. You need to know how to treat and love your curls. So often curly girls are made to feel bad and told they look unprofessional with curls. Not true.

    I swear by the “never use shampoo but make sure to condition and leave it in” model of thinking (I live in a pretty humid area). Don’t brush, comb or wrap in a towel. Allow it to air dry with some product in (that does not contain alcohol). Don’t blow dry it or straighten it. Try not to touch it too much. Curly hair is prone to dryness and you need to protect it. It can break easy and drying and straightening it make that worse.

    And some days you will be frizzy. That is just the nature of curly hair and humid days.

  25. As a fellow wavy/curly gal,I love reading all the comments and suggestions.

    Have fun playing with the new style. I thinks it is adorable!

  26. My friend with the curls swears by purchasing the hair product of her choice by the GALLON. I can’t recommend a brand, as I have truly completely straight, fine, slippery hair. Hairpins slide off. In my hair below the waist days, the ONLY implement that would keep the hair UP on my head was the leather piece with an round hole at each end through which a dowel passed. Whenever I’ve tried perms they were a fiasco and the solution was to grow it out and cut it off. They also cause a hair identity crisis when I look in the mirror and there’s “SOME ONE ELSE’S HAIR” on MY HEAD! I accept that my case requires frequent, precise haircuts because it is all in the cut. Properly cut, it just falls into place, with no blow-drying, no fussing. The “storal of this mory” is to accept what you have.

  27. Loving these comments and your post. The blog that Josephine shared was so very helpful. You can own this haircut. Let us see it in a week or two when you have perfected the style. I think it will be great.

  28. PB, embrace the curl! I use a comb in the shower when conditioning, and that helps a lot with the frizzies. I use bed head curly shampoo and conditioner regularly, and you can buy them for much cheaper at tjmaxx or marshalls. I also love BE Curly by Aveda, but tresemme makes a decent mousse in a pinch. As for a diffuser–definitely! They work really well to create soft curls. I’m growing mine out and you’ve just got to give yourself more time. It takes longer with curly hair, because the curl curls up. Hang in there, and I think it looks really cute!

  29. I’m so glad you posted this. I’ve loved reading everyone’s comments. To echo many, I think your new do is cute, cute. As Suzanah says, own it! Have fun trying all the fun products. I tend to try different things so my hair doesn’t get bored (lol!), but I do love Aveda’s Be Curly.

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