Why I Can’t Sleep Tonight

Two family members have COVID.
*Gestures generally around to the world.* That.
People not wearing masks and making their callous stupidity into a political statement.
Disneyworld opening!!??
General panic. worry Worry WORRY worry worry WOrry

How do we Livestream from Zoom to Facebook? Should we broacast on YouTube Live?
How about if I ask the congregation to get on a big Zoom call so we can read our covenant together and I can use that segment for recorded services? What would be the best time to do that, and would folks who don’t Zoom feel left out?

Must schedule Wisdom Circle for elders again.

Why does Filmora crash my computer every time I edit worship services?
When will I have time to clean up my desktop and transfer all the worship file segments I Airdropped from my phone to my laptop to Google Drive and then organize the past four months of Google drive worship segments into liturgical elements?
How about photos and slides? How about those? I have hundreds. Should I organize those by subject matter? Liturgical element?

I need to learn how to confidently do Zoom screen sharing. Can I do screen sharing while leading a conversation or segment? Who can do that? Are there Zoom producers out there yet? How much do they charge? What if, God forbid, I need to plan a Zoom funeral or memorial? Where did I put those helpful files from Facebook explaining how to do it?

What if we wind up doing some live events in the parking lot in August? What? How…? Do I need to buy an amp? Wha would an order of service look like? How would we livestream that? What do I plug a lap mic into? Will it disturb the neighbors if we use a sound system on Sunday mornings? What about all the dog walkers and hikers who are on the property expecting to use the grounds for recreational purposes? Do we have outside ushers? Signs? Do we put chairs out or do people stand around or stay in their cars…?
How would we do music outside?

What do we do when we eventually start to have some small gatherings in the church and some worship at home, how am I going to plan and lead all of these different kinds of programs?

Should we join with [local congregation] for worship once a month to share the stress of doing this online? They do Zoom Church.
But I hate Zoom services. They’re visually exhausting, the audio is bad, there are always glitches, the tech is unreliable, the flow is choppy.
Must schedule a call with [colleague].

How am I going to keep doing this for another year?

Post-Christmas Eve Service Reflection

Whoo boy, did I get sick with the Norovirus last Thursday night! Perfect timing, though (sort of), in that I was through the worst of it by Sunday evening (Christmas Eve). Thanks be to God. How did yours go, gang? Tell horror stories and happy stories in the comments! And if you’re totally collapsed today, who could blame ya? Take good care. Love, PB

Holiday Season Picks

Oh hell, YES, Forever 21! I will be rocking all your amazing plus-size lewks this season!

WHY WOULDN’T I WANT TO WEAR RED NETTING, I ASK YOU? AT ANY AGE! Or apricot cold shoulder shiny tops!
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WOOT, YES, so badly do I long to THROW shiny floral fabric around my midriff and pull on some … pants? Maybe pants? and STRIDE into my place of power as a religious leader!
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ALL of these garments… ALL of ’em, are flattering, beautiful, dignified! CONFIDENCE, FEEL IT in your grown-lady romper and asymmetrical sashage! You have a CHOICE today, laydeez! You can either go Hoochie Mama Minimalist or Baby Snooks Pregnant!

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Oh, yes I will be wearing shiny hot pants this Advent! Because I am a relevant, modern, body-poz feminist minister!

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I’m gonna work that Coffee Hour like a RUNWAY.