Why I Can’t Sleep Tonight

Two family members have COVID.
*Gestures generally around to the world.* That.
People not wearing masks and making their callous stupidity into a political statement.
Disneyworld opening!!??
General panic. worry Worry WORRY worry worry WOrry

How do we Livestream from Zoom to Facebook? Should we broacast on YouTube Live?
How about if I ask the congregation to get on a big Zoom call so we can read our covenant together and I can use that segment for recorded services? What would be the best time to do that, and would folks who don’t Zoom feel left out?

Must schedule Wisdom Circle for elders again.

Why does Filmora crash my computer every time I edit worship services?
When will I have time to clean up my desktop and transfer all the worship file segments I Airdropped from my phone to my laptop to Google Drive and then organize the past four months of Google drive worship segments into liturgical elements?
How about photos and slides? How about those? I have hundreds. Should I organize those by subject matter? Liturgical element?

I need to learn how to confidently do Zoom screen sharing. Can I do screen sharing while leading a conversation or segment? Who can do that? Are there Zoom producers out there yet? How much do they charge? What if, God forbid, I need to plan a Zoom funeral or memorial? Where did I put those helpful files from Facebook explaining how to do it?

What if we wind up doing some live events in the parking lot in August? What? How…? Do I need to buy an amp? Wha would an order of service look like? How would we livestream that? What do I plug a lap mic into? Will it disturb the neighbors if we use a sound system on Sunday mornings? What about all the dog walkers and hikers who are on the property expecting to use the grounds for recreational purposes? Do we have outside ushers? Signs? Do we put chairs out or do people stand around or stay in their cars…?
How would we do music outside?

What do we do when we eventually start to have some small gatherings in the church and some worship at home, how am I going to plan and lead all of these different kinds of programs?

Should we join with [local congregation] for worship once a month to share the stress of doing this online? They do Zoom Church.
But I hate Zoom services. They’re visually exhausting, the audio is bad, there are always glitches, the tech is unreliable, the flow is choppy.
Must schedule a call with [colleague].

How am I going to keep doing this for another year?

3 Replies to “Why I Can’t Sleep Tonight”

  1. Dear Victoria, you carry a lot on your shoulders and I hope you’ll get the opportunity to lay your burden down at least for a little respite every day.
    This worldwide pandemic is one of the few situation where we cannot ask anybody for advice (except our history books), because nobody alive has ever experienced something similar before.
    I have been a silent reader of your blog for quite some time, and now I’m “de-lurking” to let you know that your presence and gift of ministry is like a pebble dropped in a lake – the ripples carry a long way, in my case all the way to Germany. Your work is an inspiration for many, including myself (I will step into interfaith ministry training soon).
    There are invisible threads around the world, connecting people who may never meet in person and yet have things in common, who learn from each other and encourage each other.
    May you find new strength, both in your immediate surroundings with the people you know, and in the blessed knowledge that the circle of spirit is greater than any of us can see …

  2. Dear Karen,
    Thank you so much for “de-lurking” and leaving this lovely comment. It means so much to me. Sometimes I wonder why I still blog after all these years, and I know now it is for people like you. Blessings all the way from Eastern Massachusetts to Germany — maybe someday we can meet in person. In the meanwhile, please take good care of yourself. Much love. – VW

  3. I have watched all the live sessions on your FB page. I have found them really helpful because you can express feelings in words so well. I was wondering how your minister life was going. You have very high standards so I am not surprised you lie awake thinking about how to “do” church right now. As someone who watches services and other offerings, I find myself grateful and not my usual critical self and I bet I am not alone in that. Be as kind to yourself as you are to Max and to us. You have assured us we don’t have to carry on perfectly or strive and achieve every minute.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.