Pastoral Fashion Emergency, Or “PeaceBang, Help!” – Page 3

February 6, 2014

Seeking Opinions

Have any of you ordered from Simply Be? They’re a UK operation but they sell to the U.S. as well. I ordered from them eons ago and found the clothing to be okay and the shipping to be very slow. But they have some very affordable basics in their catalog that appeal to me (jersey skirts, etc). and I wondered if any of you had any experience. Google isn’t telling me anything recent.

I promised I would write about how to dress up a blazing yellow t-shirt for a protest march before February 8th and I hope to get to that, but not tonight.

Holler ideas at me! I have lost track of so many of your letters that I was supposed to respond to: MEA MAXIMA CULPA! And I do mean maxima. I wish I had a private secretary for this blog!

January 15, 2014January 15, 2014

What To Wear: MLK Concert Emcee

Hi Kitties!

SO much has happened since I last blogged about dresses!
I organized my laundry! (haven’t done it yet)
I thought about getting my nails done (they look like Beast Claws)
I ate a lot of bread-oriented things!
I went to lots of meetings!
I thought about lots of things! I thought about them in the morning as soon as I woke up and I thought about them while falling asleep at night! Because: Church!

I guest preached from a REALLY high pulpit! It was a fancy treat! And then I talked to a lot of people about the service and thought about CHURCH with them! My favorite!
I took my dog to the park! I saw two guys chasing each other in beat up vans and hopefully averted a homicide by calling the cops!
I turned 40-something! I’m very good at turning 40-something, I’ve been doing it for eight years now!

Do I sound like an enthusiastic yellow lab yet?

This Sunday I will be Emceeing a big, fun multi-choir concert called Hope Out Loud at the Unitarian Universalist Urban Ministry in Roxbury, MA. I’m very excited. But I don’t know what to wear. I am thinking black suit with silver accents, my usual “black and bling” get-up. But is that too sombre? I do own a fancy silver and black jacket with a crazy stand-up collar that might be fun, but too wild? I wore it to my church’s Solstice concert in December and people liked it… but…

I can’t go shopping because the government feels that I should pay it some taxes right now and I feel that perhaps they won’t be terribly understanding if I write them a letter and explain how I needed a new outfit for a special occasion.

I think maybe black suit, lots of fun make-up and huge earrings, silver scarf and these boots. Festive enough?

How about you? Got anything coming up you’re not sure how to dress for? Let’s put on your pointy little thinking caps together!

November 23, 2013

Navy Pants and Black Shoes

Pigeons!
Anna writes with this burning question!

What color shoes go with navy slacks?
I have a pair of navy slacks, and I need to know what shoes to go with them. All of my nice winter shoes are either black or brown–I like playing with shoe style more than shoe color, because color can really limit you on what you pair with it. Only three of my pairs of shoes are brown–medium light thick heels, medium dark stompy/masculine lace up shoes with tan accents, and dark brown skechers that are sort of like ballet flats. None of them seem quite right for navy pants … but black doesn’t seem right for navy, either. Does the “don’t pair black and navy!” rule go for shoes, too?

Dear Anna,

First of all, a picture is worth a thousand words, and even with your descriptive powers I am unable to imagine the pants and the shoes without images. Always feel free to send photos to PeaceBang, as she is now wildly curious about the brown stompy shoes with tan accents look like! Are they wing-tips? Combat boots? What’s up? The dark brown Sketchers leave a little less to the imagination and I’m pretty sure I know the exact shoes you’re referring to.

There is no reason in the world not to wear black with navy blue — in fact, it can look very sharp. PeaceBang always makes sure to have a scarf with black and navy in it together so she can rock the navy skirt/slacks black shoes combo and feel like she’s thematically tied together but that’s just her.

As in all things, it’s all about textures, styles, materials and cut. I personally loathe dark brown shoes (it’s a quirk) unless they’re boots, as I think dark brown leather is dowdy for most women’s shoe styles. Crazy, I know. But I own no dark brown shoes.

My recommendation for people who don’t love the combination of navy and brown or navy and black is to invest in a pair of taupe or grey shoes. Or for women, why not plum? Or metallic? Be interesting! If the shoe is formal enough, you can get away with all sorts of gorgeous colors for preaching.

Plum!

Taupe!

Grey!

October 24, 2013October 24, 2013

Newbie Question: What Do Wear To Officiate At The Wedding, “Billing” in the Program, And Co-Officiating

Here’s a question about what to wear to a friend’s wedding, and also stuff about CO-OFFICIATING — something that can be lots of fun but that can also go terribly wrong, which is why PeaceBang tends to hear the “Jaws” theme start in her head when the word comes up. Read on, and see how I advised our Dear Pigeon:

Dear Peace Bang,

I am co-officiating a dear friend’s wedding in a few weeks. It’s my first wedding to officiate, it’s the first wedding of my close group of friends from college, and I have been pouring over your blog looking for right ideas over what to wear!

I am a year out of seminary and 8 months in to my first church position, but I am not yet ordained as a clergy person (working toward it in the —-). The wedding will take place at 5pm at a fancy Arts Space in —- (not in a church), and the ceremony and the reception are in the same space. I will be leading most of the ceremony except for the legal parts I am unable to do since I am not ordained. That part of the ceremony will be led by an Episcopal priest.

So far I’m thinking that I will wear a blazer with a skirt (floor length? is that weird?) and then ditch the blazer when we get to the reception (which is also in the same space where the ceremony is).

So, to recap: evening wedding + not ordained + co-officiating with someone who is ordained (and robed) + first wedding to officiate + first wedding of dear friends, so I’m on that clergy/friend line.

Additionally, I’m not sure how to credential myself within this ceremony. So far, my friend (the bride) has listed the officiants as “my friend — and the Rev. — from [Our Lady Of The Frosty Cocktail] .” I have an M.Div. and a M.S.W., my work is DEFINITELY ministry, and I’m in the ordination process, but I am not Reverend yet. Or do I need to credential myself at all, and just let my presence and words in the ceremony speak for themselves?

That’s a slew of really terrific questions and here’s how I responded:

I think your choice of attire is absolutely right. I love long skirts with blazers for weddings. They give you business up top and a touch of eleganza on the bottom. Tailored + flowy is a good way to avoid Earth Mother Crunchy Hippie Syndrome which afflicts so many sisters of the cloth, and you certainly don’t want to get into cocktail dress territory.

I know how eager we are to assure folks of our credentials when we officiate, and being so close to ordination must make that desire more ardent. I remember that feeling. It’s like, “I’m a REAL MINISTER! I’M JUST NOT A REVEREND YET!” You are a real minister. You know it, those with whom you minister know it, the — head cheeses know it, and God knows it. You could ask your friend to list you in the program as [Name], M.Div., MSW, but if you can live without the letters, I would advise doing so. It will give the program a kind of clinical touch that doesn’t belong on such a document, and you’re being listed as her friend, which is what matters to her (not your fine cred). Better to be listed by name and accept people’s inevitable praise at the reception with a smile and a comment to the effect of, “one of the great joys of being a minister is to be able to celebrate rites of passage with people I love so much.”

A word of advice: the [ordained clergyperson] who will be on hand to make things official may or may not think that he’s in charge of the service. Make sure you two work that out very clearly before you go into the rehearsal. It can be VERY awkward when clergy get into smiling “Who’s the Alpha” situations on occasions such as this.

Continue reading “Newbie Question: What Do Wear To Officiate At The Wedding, “Billing” in the Program, And Co-Officiating”

October 24, 2013October 24, 2013

Getting a Professional Make-Up Job

This is a terrific question that came to me way back in June, 2013:

Subject: Very Important Funerals
Message: Hey Peacebang!
I hope that you’re having a great time at your General Assembly.

I’ve just started a position at a church that has a “Very Important Member” (big-city mover/shaker) who is 100+. Her (already planned) funeral will be at [public secular arts venue], and a lot of the nuts and bolts of the event have already been worked out to be implemented the moment she passes away.

Here’s my question: I always strive to be professional and dignified in my dress/makeup/hear when I’m performing sacred duties for my people. It occurs to me, though, that at this Very Important Funeral, it may be necessary to go the extra mile in regard to appearance. Do you think it be appropriate to get my hair and make up professionally done ahead of the funeral? Should I find a stylist now and work out the face/hair stuff so that when the funeral is nigh I can just pop in and get it done with minimal stress?

I’d love your feedback on this.

Dear Very Thoughtful Minister,

I checked in with you the other day and you assured me that your Very Important Member is still with us, which gives us an opportunity to address this question before the event.

I see from your photo that you are a beautiful woman who clearly knows how to do her own hair and make-up. So let me say from a personal consultation viewpoint that I think you are perfectly equipped to get yourself ready for this occasion without professional help from your local equivalent of Kevin Aucoin.

That said, let me ask you this: would it help you feel more grounded, confident and faithful to get your face and hair “did?” Would doing so feel like a tribute to the grande dame whose life you will be lifting up? If so, it’s no one’s business but yours if you slip away to a salon and let pros get your ready for the service. Lordy, haven’t we seen how disgraceful it appears when an officiant clearly has no sense of occasion and utterly fails to rise to the formality of a funeral? All funerals are public, and the one you anticipate is ultra-public. You are wise and responsible to consider your appearance ahead of time. There will be photographers there and there will likely be video cameras as well. A word to fellas: this applies to you, too. Get your rump in the barber’s chair for a fresh shave and coiff before an important occasion. It’s the respectful thing to do.

Here’s what I would recommend: do a trial run. Plan your outfit, plan your hair and make-up and do it all just the way you intend to do it the day of the funeral. Sunday morning seems a good time to do a dress rehearsal. Have someone get you on film and check everything to make sure you approve of it all. If the hair was difficult to do and you think it may be a problem on the big day to repeat your ‘do, take your stylist into confidence and arrange to have it done privately the day of or day before the funeral. Or you may have a friend who’s good with hair who will arrange to come over at short notice and replicate your style.

Make these preparations prayerfully in the spirit of “making all things ready” for a rite of passage that will place an inordinate amount of pressure on you to exemplify the dignity and grace of the Church in a secular setting. If it’s one less thing to worry about, why not hire someone to do your face and/or hair?

Smart gal. Some may scoff and say, “Oh GEEZ, E., just write a great eulogy and get your robe dry cleaned and, like, use some hair spray!” But I say that this thoughtfulness and care on your part is a way of showing love and respect to the woman whose life you will be honoring and whose soul you will be praying into the arms of the Eternal. Do whatever you need to do to bring all the beauty and shine you can to this very important occasion for this Very Important Member.

Blessings and a kiss of peace, PB