Shirt And Collar Different Sizes

Ah, the joys of clericals! Soon-to-be-deacon I. writes in with a question:

I’m about to get ordained (God willing) as a deacon in the — Church, and am in the throes of purchasing my first clergy shirt and collars, amongst other things. Based on my measurements though, I need a size 13/13.5 collar and the collars of the shirts I’m looking at (long sleeve button down) run bigger than that. Add to this the cost, the emotional element, and the fact that I can’t try things on in advance and I’m in a bit of a pickle.

So, my two questions are:
1. Can/should you wear a shirt with a larger collar size (like a 14) with a smaller collar (like a 13.5)?
2. Assuming not, can a clergy shirt that is bigger be tailored to fit a smaller collar (this might be obvious but I have no idea)?

Any help or advice would be most greatly appreciated!

Many thanks for your time and for your awesome gift of a blog,

I.

Now, PeaceBang’s tiny brain gets all confused when it comes to neck measurements and collars and stuff, so I hope I got this right. Please correct me in the comments if I blew it!

Dear I.,

Congratulations on your ordination to the diaconate. How exciting and wonderful!!

Now about shirt details:
I’m fairly confident that you should just go ahead and get the slightly larger collar so that it will work with your shirt. 1/2″ extra won’t look silly big around your neck but you’ll run into trouble if you have a collar that’s 1/2″ too small for the actual shirt. They won’t line up and you’ll have more than the usual pain in the ass situation trying to get the studs lined up.

Let me know if this helps, and above all DON’T FREAK OUT. It will all work out.

Converting Regular Shirts Into Clericals: Call For Video

Hi, darling colleagues,
Rev. Ingrid from South Africa wrote with her thanks to you all for sharing your ideas on how to make clericals out of regular shirts here.

But Ingrid says that she is a visual learner and I know that others are, too, so I want to invite any of you who have successfully converted shirts to make a video tutorial of how you did it, and we’ll share them here.

Many thanks and much love. Kiss of peace, MWAH! PB

Capsule Wardrobes And Wardrobe Staples

Hi darlings!

A few of you have written to me asking about capsule wardrobes in the past year, and asked me to weigh in on what would make a good capsule wardrobe for a minister.

I think capsule wardrobes are a great idea if you’re someone who looks great in classic styles and can limit yourself to a few beautifully tailored pieces. Google the term if you want to know what I’m talking about. There are tons of articles and blogs on capsule wardrobes.

I haven’t blogged about capsule wardrobes for clergy because the concept seems kind of obvious to me, and I don’t think you need my advice.

I have written posts about key wardrobe pieces and I will try to find those. Here’s one.
Here’s another one that gets to wardrobe staples down a few paragraphs.
Here’s a good post about how to shop and wardrobe staples.

My concern is that if I say, “Get a black suit, two charcoal tops, a white blouse and a pair of brown shoes” (that’s just a random list – I don’t mean it), people will do that without paying attention to fabric, cut, frumpiness or personal style.

Sorry if I disappointed those who posed the question!

Edmund Pettus Bridge Commemoration

Unitarian Universalists are going back to Selma for the fiftieth anniversary of the march that eventually brought about the Voting Rights Act. Many Unitarian Universalists remember and cling to the moment as the apotheosis of social justice commitments, especially because one of our lay members, Viola Liuzzo, and one of our ministers, the Rev. James Reeb, were murdered in the days surrounding the march. They had both come in to participate following the call by Rev. Dr. King.

This is much more than an exercise in nostalgia and solidarity. It is a memorial, a funeral, a call to renewed efforts toward anti-racism and anti-oppression work in #BlackLivesMatter America.

Many clergy have been asking what to pack and what to wear, and as anyone who regularly reads this blog knows, these are not trivial questions.

Some Unitarian Universalist ministers want to wear these.
Or they think they should wear stoles over street clothes to signal to the world that they are religious leaders.

Neither of these choices is appropriate, and I have said elsewhere that I find the first option offensive.

I like, support and appreciate the Standing On The Side Of Love slogan and campaign. It is a banner I am happy to have flying in our church sanctuary at times, and a Tshirt that I own and wear when I am joining UUs at big events like gay pride or climate marches. I love the happy feeling I get when I walk toward a park or gathering place and see a big swarm of those bumble bee shirts. Those are my people! I think to myself, and I head toward them with gratitude.

But the fiftieth anniversary of the march from Selma is no time for anyone to identify themselves with a denominational brand. To do so communicates immaturity and competitiveness to others, no matter what Unitarian Universalists say about wanting to communicate enthusiasm and pride. An ecumenical leader just sent me a Facebook message saying, “I wonder if the glaring UU branding in the clerics is an expression not of ecumenical/ interfaith solidarity, but an expression of anxiety and competition. I know of no other denomination where the clerical uniform has been particularized with a color… ”

Of course it is! And the terminal uniqueness to which UUs are still unfortunately prone, even as time marches on and proves us to be marching in tandem with mainline Protestants in many of the issues we were once cutting edge.

Colleagues, be respectful and respectable. Wear structured clothing. Wear a suit. Wear clericals if you want to identify as clergy. Leave off the stoles flapping in the wind, as you are not officiating at a wedding or performing a pastoral function. Stoles are not public symbols of ordained ministry and often look goofy over street clothes. They are highly individualistic (“This is my denominational stole! This is my rainbow unicorn quilted stole! This is my home congregation design stole! This is my I Love Nature And Horses stole!”) and can ruin a photograph by being askew. They are liturgical vestments and do not really belong in the streets, but if you feel strongly about wearing one, please do not make it a denominational slogan. Please do not time-stamp an historic moment by wearing a transient symbol. I know that the Standing On The Side Of Love campaign is not denominational and purely Unitarian Universalist. That isn’t the point. The point is that this moment is not about team pride of any kind. It is about human history, legacy, remembrance, martyrdom and justice. None of those things should be cheapened by flagrant displays of specialness or separateness.

Some UUs may object: “I’m clergy but I’m not Christian and do not wish to wear clericals because that has no integrity.”
Then don’t wear clericals. Exchanging clericals for an unrecognizable, distracting symbol at a moment of high national importance is about your need to be identified in photos as a particular flavor of religious leader, not about making a visual, emotional, psychological statement for the ages.
It’s not about you or our tiny denomination, and if Unitarian Universalist cheerleading and preferred Rainbow Brite colors palette was going to win converts to our movement, I am certain that would have happened by now.

Part of the power of this image taken fifty years ago is that you cannot tell the participants apart by creed or denomination, church-goer, atheist, layman or clergy. They are elegant, they are dignified, they are one people.

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Two Weeks In New York, And A Side Rant

Wow, what fun! Stacy has to go to New York City for a long trip and she wants some help knowing what to pack!
Here’s what she writes,

Please keep writing! I would definitely appreciate tips for travel. I’ll be in NYC for two weeks in March for the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women meeting. I’m starting to panic a bit about what to pack, how to keep things looking (and smelling) fresh, and keeping my feet happy. (I’m a runner, so major concern as my feet are often tired.) Plus, I’m guessing NYC is way swankier than northern Illinois. Hope my predicament helps inspire you!

Dear Stacy,
Congratulations! What FUN to be in the greatest city in America for two weeks in March. I am jealous! New York City is so alive, so exciting — and so wet, windy and cold in March! Also expensive! So first of all, make sure to take large bags of money with you, okay? You’ll need them for things like coffee and taxi rides.
Just kidding! Kind of not!

Anyway, sweetie, yes, NYC is definitely more sophisticated than northern Illinois. And that may work in your favor, because it’s perfectly fine to dress all in black in New York, and no one will think you’re being depressing or looking for work as a mime.

Two weeks is a pretty long time, so I would personally plan on sending out some laundry if you can rather than packing so much luggage that you’ll wind up paying $50 airline fees for all of it. This is definitely a time to bring the best that you can possibly afford and wear the hell out of it for 14 days.

Now, dear, having no idea of your age or personal style or body type or anything, I’m going to make a suggestion that may or may not work at all for you. I would suggest that you keep your outfits simple and classic, sticking with a few shapes.

Some packing guidelines:

1. Bring two skirts and a pair of pants and plan to wear each twice. Or two pairs of pants and one skirt, same deal.

2. Bring classic garments with a bit of interest in pattern or texture but all of which match with each other.

3. Stay with one dark neutral and one light neutral (ivory and black or navy and white, or brown and grey — whatever. Just keep it super simple).

4. Get the best, greatest knee-high, classic, classy, comfortable, all-weather leather or leather-look boots you can afford. You are going to wear the hell out of those things.

5. Outerwear. It will be cold and windy. Wear a lined trench coat or wool overcoat. Trench is better for rain. Bring a couple of warm stretch fleece or wool hats that you can roll up in your bag. Make sure they cover your whole head and ears. Lined is better for avoiding static hair. Leather or suede gloves.

6. Bring sophisticated accessories: great sunglasses in a mod shape, lush square scarves (nothing flimsy cotton or poly). A fabulous cross-body bag with handles as you will be doing a lot of walking. Once you’re inside, carry your bag by the handles to avoid looking like a college student.
Great scarf and sunglasses are instantly chic!
Screenshot 2015-02-15 19.48.13

The following images give you a sense of what I’m talking about in terms of the garments I’m suggesting for you. The skirts are a bit short, but you get the idea. One thing that drives Auntie PeaceBang batshit CRAZY is when readers look at photos and say, “OH, PeaceBang, that is all wrong! The hem on that skirt is too short, or the pantyhose are all wrong!”
FOR THE LOVE OF ST. MARGARET OF CORTONA, PATRON SAINT OF CLERGY IMAGE BLOGGERS*, DON’T DO THAT!!! Until I have an on-staff sketcher to draw up styling ideas based on the full-length photos of my readers who ask these questions (who almost never provide photos when they inquire), it’s just me with my little old MacBook Pro, cutting and pasting. USE YOUR IMAGINATION. TRANSLATE TO REAL LIFE! Okay? And be like the people in the fashion world who watch garments come down the runway and identify which gown should go with certain clients, understanding that a garment is almost NEVER put on a real woman exactly as it appears on the runway. Necklines are changed, hems are drastically altered, the garment is made up in a different hue, waistlines go way up or down, embroidered details appear or disappear.

TRANSLATE! DON’T EVER TAKE AN IMAGE LITERALLY! DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH! If you hate the belt on a coat I show, use your own little Googling fingers to find “trench coat with back belt” or whatever your heart desires. This isn’t rocket science.

/RANT ENDED

Let’s start with a classic black crewneck. This is something you could dress up with a silk scarf for an evening event, wearing it with heels and pants or heels and a skirt. You’re going to be in New York City, you most absolutely, definitely cannot attend an evening event in Danskos:

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Now, the trench coat:
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A classic trench coat will last you your whole life and can travel anywhere.

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All of these skirts are classic pencil skirts. These will last forever, too, and these are all by Anne Taylor, who won’t break your bank. Note that I included one in the Pantone Color of the Year, Marsala, which is also a neutral. I chose all dark neutrals so if you sit on a dirty subway seat and get a stain, it won’t show. Several of these are classic patterns that add visual interest and richness but don’t look dowdy or busy, and go with everything:

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Texture is almost always so much more sophisticated than bright prints when we’re talking about retail garments. You can dress all in neutrals with no print at all. Looky. See what I mean?

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So, Stacy, the main concept here is simple, classic and sophisticated. It’s all about detail and elegance: a good bra and posture, great boots, garments that have been tailored to fit you, neutrals in rich fabrics, and nothing floppy, sloppy or flimsy. Tourists always stand out in NYC for being sloppy-sporty, with big ugly running shoes, cow-like pacing on the sidewalk (NEVER stop to get your bearings at the top of a subway platform or on a street corner!) and sports team attire. Don’t be one of them, Stacy. Do northern Illinois proud, girl. You’ll be in an international gathering in one of the most powerful cities in the world. Bring your A-game and let us know how it goes.

Kiss of peace from the tundra of eastern Massachusetts,
PB xoox

* I totally made that up.