Then Don’t Wear Tshirts and Flip Flops To Church

I was lurking on a clergy conversation board not that long ago when I saw the usual, defensive, “Oh, I hate when people treat me with disrespect because I’m a woman and they can’t believe the pastor is a girl” thread going on.

I do get angry about this, of course I do. Sexism is real and either overt or unconscious pretty much everywhere. The archetypal pastor image and persona that the vast majority of church-going folks (or even unchurched) have in their imaginations is a man. That’s going to be the case for a long time; somewhat less time in denominations that have called women ministers for longer than other, more conservative denominations. We all know about the stained glass ceiling — even in my own super-liberal denomination, men are overwhelmingly called to the large congregations while more experienced, proven and better-educated women ministers don’t even get first interviews.

So I get it.

However, I want to challenge the conflation of sexism with basic confusion.

It is one thing to go about your work in ministry dressed in a professional manner and to have to prove that you’re the minister of the church (or synagogue) because you’re a woman and yet another thing entirely to be questioned about your status when you’re dressed like a sloppy kid.

One commenter on the thread I was following threw in, “Yea, I hate being asked if I’m the pastor in incredulous tones when I’m at church — especially when I’m in shorts and flip flops.”

Honey, you shouldn’t BE at church in shorts and flip flops.
Maybe the issue isn’t sexism. Maybe the issue is your immaturity and inappropriate attire.

Even if you’re going over to church for a few minutes to plant some petunias, you should be dressed in a way that, should you need to straighten up with a trowel in your hand to let someone into the building or greet them, would not embarrass either of you.

That means that you don’t just roll over there in a Tshirt and flip flops and expect people to recognize you as any kind of leader and get all defensive when they say, “YOU’RE the pastor?”

Even men in similar attire wouldn’t be assumed to be the minister if they were dressed in shorts and flip flops.

I’m calling this out, kids!

Step up your summer game. That’s why God made madras, chinos, cotton skirts, straw sun hats, sandals, and proper shirts.