Baby dolls!!
Conferences are a-comin’ up! Remember to make your plane reservations and get your hotel rooms and remember to register for the actual conference, a detail which PeaceBang forgets to attend to EVERY SINGLE YEAR, and EVERY SINGLE YEAR she has to do the walk of shame from the registration table to the cashier where she sheepishly pulls out her wallet and pays for the registration. Once, many moons ago, PeaceBang foolishly trusted her memory and would gently quibble with the people at the registration table, as she was just CERTAIN that if they looked hard enough they would find her name. Nowadays she just sighs in a resigned, perimenopausal way and apologizes before trudging dutifully off to the cashier.
Yearly conferences are a wonderful time to catch up with friends from afar, an opportunity to schmooze and network, an opportunity to stay up too late at the hotel bar and laugh uproariously over stories of the year just past. Tears are okay, too. Everyone slogs around the conference center going to lots of workshops and worship services and lectures and concerts and dinners and coffees and lunches and it’s a grand old time.
And packing for it is a royal pain in the royal rear end!
So let’s start a little chit-chat here about the whole thing, and I’ll start with a few helpful PeaceBang guidelines:
1. If you’re not presenting or looking for a job, relax. Dress for a regular day at the office, unless your regular day at the office is a rainbow T-shirt, Birkenstocks and rumpled chinos.
2. You are not on vacation. You are still a religious leader in a community context. No beach clothes, flip flops, straw hats or sleeveless shirts with straps for anyone. Sleeveless is okay, but not straps. Straps are way too casual for a conference setting.
3. This is also not a clergy retreat. In my denomination, we start the conference with Ministry Days. It warms PeaceBang’s heart greatly to see how her colleagues have spruced up since she started writing this blog (she is not claiming any correlation, of course, but it is nice to see), and have moved from “letting it all hang out” to “respecting the professional nature of this assemblage.” A retreat is for retreating. A conference is for learning, fellowship, networking and professional development.
4. No shorts for anyone except my friend Hank, who totally rocks the Bermudas. The factor here is a small implement called an IRON, with which way too clergy seem to be unfamiliar. Shorts can be spiffy, but they rarely are. They are usually a wrinkled mess revealing scaly dry legs. They never, ever, ever belong on clergywomen.
5. You may not think you’re making connections with future employees, but always consider a conference an opportunity to network for your future. You never know who you might meet. I wish more people understood this! Seminarians, this is particularly for you: you need to get out there and connect!! At this point in your career, you can’t afford to spend a denominational conference hanging out with your friends and going to things that your friends are going to lead or be at. Get out there and see what’s going on! Introduce yourself to people. Take business cards and be prepared to take down names and e-mail addresses. Seek out mentors whose work you admire and introduce yourself! Use your time wisely. I know no one likes to think of ministry and career in one sentence, but if you want to do salaried work in ministry, guess what, it’s your career and your calling. God is not going to magically drop jobs or opportunities into your lap if you don’t do anything for yourself.
6. If you’re going to wear maxi-skirts, BE CAREFUL ON THE ELEVATOR!
Not a good look for clergy — too youthful and whimsical.
There’s no reason to inflict this dorkiness on the world.
Then again, if your denomination’s regular uniform consists of rainbow T-shirts, Birkenstocks and rumpled chinos, you can pass for a lay person and hear all kinds of things from strangers that they would never say in front of a clergyperson. It could be fun!
Also, men in jackets and shorts look like they forgot their trousers. Please don’t forget your pants or lead me to wonder if you did.
Also important if you’re trapped in a gargantuan, soulless convention center:
1) Always over-air-conditioned, so layer, layer, layer. I can’t wear even the most elegant, professional dress sandals because my feet will turn purple. And all I will be thinking about is cold feet, cold feet, super-cold feet…
2) You will probably be standing and walking a lot more than normal, so if you have wimpy feet like mine, find supportive shoes. I resign myself to my not-so-bad, black suede sneakers and long, dark pants for an entire week. Fun jackets and cardies help.
3) Have one day/evening where you take a break from the soulless place and can feel a bit more like your fun self.
PB, I look forward to the annual wardrobe list of what you have decided to take with you and wear at the conference. I might even take some cues from you! (I’ll be the one wearing the pashmina shawl in that over-air conditioned conference center.) [I’ll just be so glad to see you!! – PB]
Just returned from an ecclesiastical conference at which I stayed 5 miles from the soulless, overly-air-conditioned conference center. Here’s how I managed the wardrobe situation. I wore half of what I brought on the plane. 1) Since I had to walk 10 miles + each day, I brought only one pair of shoes: well-shined black Dansko heels. Very comfy and cute at once. 2) I brought brightly colored tights for each day and several printed scarves that could double as shawls, if necessary. These provided daily variety and really changed my look each day of the conference. 3) I invested in two beautiful Eddie Bauer Travex vests, on sale, (one dark orange, one plum), which feature many pockets and freed me from a bag. I was able to keep my credit card, phone, hotel card, ID, tissues, lip balm, and small containers of sunblock and lotion in all the pockets without looking on bit bulky. 4) Two short Athleta skirts that are wrinkle resistant (one black, one grey). 5) Two Eddie Bauer Travex shirts (also wrinkle-resistant) with roll-up button sleeves so they can be worn as short or long sleeved. I washed out the shirts at night and they were dry by morning. 6) One umbrella (for rain as much as for sun). Everything, including my IPad, some office paperwork, and a one small ziplock bag of toiletries, fit into a tiny roll-on bag. All in all, the look was professional, colorful, and mildly casual. Easiest trip of my life in terms of packing, let alone in terms of schlepping stuff around that soulless, air-tight conference center. Brothers and sister, when traveling, less is so much more!