Dress Rehearsal For a Big Event

Oh, it’s all such a fuss and bother! Except that churches are historical entities that care about the past and the future, and modern day folk in an age of Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter and other ephemeral forms of connection sometimes forget that.

When you get dressed for a wedding, you are becoming part of someone’s family history, and you are therefore part of their archives.
Therefore, yes, it matters that you had bed head or pooled pants hems more suited to Emmett Kelly than to a distinguished member of the clergy.

When you are being ordained, yes, it matters that your nail polish was badly chipped because that was the one little thing you forgot to do. It doesn’t seem so little now that you’ve seen the photographs of yourself accepting the Communion chalice from the bishop with mall rat nails. Gurrrl! If nothing else, at least remove the polish!

In an informal and even sloppy culture, we have lost the daily practice of putting ourselves together in a pressed and shined up fashion. It’s not second nature for many of us to get spiffed up, which is why it behooves us to prepare carefully for the occasions when we do. Yes, I did just say “behooves.”

When I have a really special event, I do a “dress rehearsal” so I can make sure I have everything ready and — this is the important part — won’t suffer any miserable surprises when it’s too late to do anything about them. Miserable surprises are the worst!! Raise your hand if you’ve ever had one, and DO tell so we can all moan and groan together!
It goes without saying that the liturgical preparation and hospitality for important church events take precedence, and I have a lot of details to attend to on those fronts for my Installation on Sunday, so I want to get my personal prep out of the way early in the week. We’ve got so much to do for the service itself, I have so much to do with family coming to town, and then there’s the fact that I’m leaving for a ten-day vacation on Tuesday. No complaints! Just trying to stay the course so everyone has a great experience.

Some of the things I had on my Pre-Big Event Personal Checklist:

1. Got my suit tailored.
2. Ordered shoes. Tried them on. Love them for the event, love them in general. [They’re so pretty! Low vamp,not a bit frumpy. – PB] Realized that even though they have rubber soles, they are still slippy. Since I want to wear them for worship in our hard wood floor sanctuary, I took them to the shoemakers to have good rubber soles put on them and the plastic heel covers replaced with rubber. The shoes cost me $35 on sale, so even with these modifications, they’ll be a very reasonable investment.

3. Tried on my new silk blouse with my suit. Discovered that I LOVE IT, but it is needs one more button so that I can avoid a Festival of Inappropriate Sharing. I will take it to the tailor tomorrow since my sewing skills do not extend to putting in a new buttonhole.

4. Did a pantyhose and waist cincher inventory review to make sure I have all the fat-squishing support I need. Check.

5. Tried on a variety of earrings and necklaces and can’t decide yet which combo I will wear, but I did determine that one set of earrings has those stabby posts that puncture you every time you put the phone up to your ear or someone hugs you. You know what I mean? I hate those! I expect to be hugged and greeting by many people that day, so they’re out of consideration.

6. Got a manicure.

7. If I have time, I’ll do a trial run of my hairdo because I’m just really bad at doing my hair and I need practice.

8. Thought through the weekend so that everyone will be sheltered, fed, transported to hotels, restaurants and airports in orderly fashion.

9. Shaved my legs, because I am breaking out the sheer hose.

10. Told everyone on my blog that I shaved my legs.

So you see, darlings, there’s a LOT to think about when we’re getting ready to become part of the history of an institution. It’s neither vain nor petty to consider the details. Attention to detail for an occasion like this is the only responsible thing to do. Your church needs you to be calm, centered, prepared and fully present on these big days. The last thing you need is to reach for that skirt or pair of pants you were counting on wearing and discover that all your winter carb loading has rendered your girth three inches too wide to allow for the zipper to be fully fastened. Try things on. Check them from every angle. Shine the shoes, polish the brooch, trim the beard, get your nails did. When you have attended to all of those little items you can focus on the
Order of Worship
the dinner after the reception
the car rental for your guest preacher
the sleeping arrangements for your 6’3″ friend
the candles and program and thank you’s and music and
coordinating the Laying On Of Hands
and the ushers instructions and
and
oh, and also praying and being quiet and glad and smiling and making sure you don’t miss one wonderful second of it.