E. wrote earlier to ask about this spring’s cute dresses, using eShakti’s designs as an example. There are all kinds of fun prints in vogue next season, and PeaceBang finds that refreshing. However, she appreciates E’s question about the limits of fun; specifically, when does a frock cross the line from fresh and appealing to “give it a rest, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, you’re giving me six cavities with that twee little number?”
Let’s examine and investigate the Clerical Image and some Adorable Dresses. Click to enlarge the images.
Candy Crush dress!! Now, PeaceBang would totally wear this to a summer party with 1940’s rolled hair and wedge espadrilles and have a blast, perhaps sipping a mojito and singing 1940’s standards with a band. You can see that PeaceBang has a rich summer fantasy life right now, with bitter temperatures and grey skies and dirty snow sapping her joy. But this is not a dress any minister should wear anyplace she wants and needs to be taken seriously, which is any place she is working. Too cutesy by half.
Here’s a feminine floral that one could wear to work. What we want to note here is the cut, which is sophisticated (the draping at the neck), the loveliness of the print, and the elegance of the palette. Yes, this is a pretty floral dress but it’s not twee and girlish. I would style this with a neutral cardigan, a chunky wristwatch and a pair of brown or plum shoes to keep it grounded and professional. The minute you put on your bright poppy orange flats with this you’ve veered into Cutesville. Save the orange matchy-matchy flats for the party. And don’t you dare think of topping this with a lime green jacket. Yes, I KNOW it “goes.” But you are not the Mayor of Munchkinville, so back off the Technicolor accents. One too many bright accents of color takes you right out of running for a Halo of Approval.
Here’s another perfectly appropriate pretty floral dress. The neckline is classic, the cut is classic, the print is very femmy (pink!) but if you top this with a black shrug and black flats, you’re good to go. Keep your make-up polished and pretty but neutral. A bright pink lip, white lace=trimmed cardigan or jacket and sandals with a flower on the toe would take this dress over the top. That’s why details really matter, pigeons.
Here’s a fabulous little vintage number that I happen to love, but that I can’t see styling for ministry appearances. It’s a bit costumey, and that’s always tricky. I’m picturing various colleagues of mine wearing it and I can’t make it work for anyone, even though I initially thought that one of my pixie-cut pals would be able to carry it off. I think it so instantly evokes 1950’s Housewife in style and silhouette you’re just undermining yourself by wearing it for any work occasion. Damned cute, though. If the skirt wasn’t full I think it could be redeemed for a cocktail party-type event. You’d have to be willing to wear fabulous heels with it, as nothing else would do. OH. I just figured out who could TOTALLY own this dress, and her initials are W.G.(except I think this color would die on her. What do you think, W.G.?):
Now this is fun! Giraffes! The print is subtle, it’s eternally classic b+w so sure. Knock yourself out. Make some folks happy in the nursing home. I mean that: fresh, cute outfit can breathe such life into the lives of people who don’t get out much. My sense about folks in nursing homes and assisted living is that they don’t need their pastor to look like a minister so much as they like having you there, period. Maybe that’s just my experience but the few times I popped in to see parishioners when I really wasn’t appropriately dressed (on my way out to a piano bar, or on my way to the theatre to do a show and looking like a college kid), they got a real kicking seeing me all dolled-up or in my Boho get-ups. They never failed to tell me that when I apologized for my appearance. I would never have gone to see them grubbed out in shorts and a t-shirt and flip flops, though. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about revealing the more personal side of your closet from time to time as an expression of trust and intimacy.
You could tough it up with a denim jacket and some grunge sandals. Pop in and out of the office, run errands, great little casual outfit. Definitely one of those “Hey! You don’t look like a minister” outfits that you don’t want to do too often, but now and again is fine.
So, Miss E., rock that giraffe dress. I can totally see you in it. Thanks for a great question. MWAH!
makes me glad that Episcopal clergy have clergy shirts to wear – and all is built around that – tho now that I am mostly retired – I will have to find some other shirts. [Funny you should say so, because I am convinced that I would be genuinely depressed if I had to wear clericals. They are so desperately unflattering to a bosomy broad with a short neck, they would drain my spirit. Seriously. – PB]
I am genuinely of two minds about this.
I agree about the dress with candy on it for a variety of other reasons.
But I also think back to a salt-and-pepper-haired-middle-aged-woman in my class at seminary who was told by a man at her internship she would “make a fine minister once she dressed like an adult” and cringe a bit. She dressed like a slightly boho well-off artist. Which she was. And she was a fine minister.
Nothing will change if we do not change it.
I went to worship with week with a male pastor in jeans, t-shirt, and quicksilver overshirt. Totally appropriate for his SoCal congregation, but the only one not dressed like him up front was the (only) woman playing piano, who was wearing a dress with cardigan. Looked great, but would she have been just as acceptable in shirt and jeans?
idk.
Yay! Giraffe dress passed muster!
However, this Maine pastor would never attempt this one.
http://www.eshakti.com/Product/CL0029977/Lobster%20print%20cotton%20halter%20dress
Not in a million years.
Lord have mercy, that lobster frock looks like it was made out of a tablecloth and some napkins. NOPE.
I really appreciate this post because, in an attempt to find and define my “style” as both pastor and mama of 3, I have come across the style of “gamine” – (literally, little French waif boyish girl). And dang it, I love it. (It’s not as bad as the name implies. Think Audrey Hepburn.) It’s Euro Chic meets American Classic meets a bit of Mod. I have been walking this gamine line with caution because I don’t want it to look unprofessional, or too “little girly” (I am 35 for goodness sake, oh yeah. and a pastor).
Thank you for giving me some questions to ask my outfits when determining if it is too “twee.” If I ever get around to taking pictures of “Caroline’s Clergy Capsule” wardrobe, I may send it to you for a tip of the hat or wag of the finger. [Great! Please do! – PB]
As one who has struggled with weight and appearance, it felt like a struggle to give up on things that were flattering, and made me feel pretty wearing. Coming of age in the Gunne Sax-era late ’70s, my tastes are not hoochie mama, but I have had to be on the alert for cute/cutesy. I passed on a lovely pale pink dress for my ordination because it simply didn’t pass the cuteness test. Finding a formal dress that passed required some effort. I went with “mother of the bride” as a category I could actually find in stores. And I thought I should tell you – I told the DRE that our youth needed a dress code for future worship appearances. On Christmas Eve, we had a lovely li’l thing in leggings and a nice fleece top that stopped well above her hips. Aieee! Not enough to send her home, but certainly filed it away to prevent future such. Nobody in staff meeting got it, and I felt about 100 years old, but I didn’t care.
I should add that this dress code is for when youth perform or read in worship, not just for attendance. I think the latter would be stifling and harder to enforce. But it’s not too much to ask that they think of this as being like performing in a school concert or giving an assembly speech. Here’s hoping the schools have standards, too!
The 50-s style number looks like it’s right out of an Anne Taintor calendar. If you haven’t seen these, they have vintage illustrations with extremely snide captions added. (They are very funny, if you have the right sense of humor, and can be hung in a cubicle, but probably not a church office.)
Ann Taintor is a artist “whose themes deal with domestic stereotypes, as viewed through the lens of mid-century [20th] advertisements… Juxtaposing these images with tongue-in-cheek captions, her work serves as a commentary on the stereotypes of women popularized in the 1940s and ’50s.” (Wikipedia)
This is very timely, thank you!! I just bought a cute dress at Talbiot’s and was thinking about where it would be appropriate. Here is a link if you are curious:
http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?id=prdi31529&rootCategory=cat90036&catId=cat80018&sortKey=Default§ion=Sale&conceptIdUnderSale=cat90036
[Oooh, this link is expired. Can you send me an image? Thanks! – PB]
It seems to work fine in my regular work setting (academia). If I had a day full of meeting with faculty members I’d probably wear something less flashy (probably not a dress). But would I wear it at a church where I am doing an ministry internship? I think I might if I were heading over straight from work, but I wouldn’t reach for it if I were only doing church work that day. Does that make sense?
Now, onto that 50s number. I suspect it would look great on me. I think I might be able to dowdy it up a bit for the office (black cardigan to deemphasize my curves, no jewelry, fairly flat shoes). I am glad another commenter mentioned clerical collars, even having one sticking out might not do the trick here (but perhaps with the aforementioned cardigan….?).