From Betsy Turner via Twitter, from Haddon Robinson’s Biblical Preaching, p. 206. Click on the image to enlarge.
Compulsive over-eating is not about self-control. It is about addiction, unmet need, grief, anger, internalized misogyny, repression, loneliness, sexual frustration… care to contribute to the list?
Being fat in the pulpit does not hinder communication. It communicates fat. It communicates a human body. It communicates something about who we are and how we live and what we struggle with. Some parishioners will see a human being in the pulpit, some will see a fat human being. Part of our job is to help those in our spiritual care to become more conscious of their attitudes toward human bodies of all kinds, including their own. Part of our job as preachers is to cultivate mercy, compassion and understanding between all God’s incarnate children and all of creation. To suggest that fat is a moral failure is a very old-school, limited and limiting, non-productive and psychologically and spiritually shallow teaching. His theology there is about an inch deep.
Time to update the preaching text.
I think a lot of obesity has to do with the food industry which makes its profits from unhealthy, fattening, foods, which are heavily subsidized while farmers who grow healthy foods are not. Those are also the foods that are fed to children in school and heavily advertised. Add to that the heavy subsidies for automobiles and the difficulties involved in walking and biking for so many people, you have a society in which most people are overweight. This is not a purely or even mostly individual problem but a social problem. There is a far higher correlation between obesity and where you live than there is between obesity and personality. When I live in the U.S. I struggle with a weight problem. Every time I have lived outside the US I drop weight effortlessly. There was a pretty good TV series on this recently — CNN was it? Maybe HBO. I hadn’t realized that for many, certain foods are literally, not just psychologically addictive.
I would add that it may be a sign of either overwork or over-busyness.
I know that when I was working on losing weight, it was WORK! It took a lot of time and concentration and effort. When you are busy every hour of the day, or are asked to spend every hour of the day caring for others, then you do not have time for a leisurely bike ride or a carefully cooked meal.
Meals on the go in the car rushing from activity to activity are sometimes held up as a model of good ministry because of how people are sacrificing for others. To take time for yourself is seen as selfish, self-centered, or sinful. We’re often still trying to convey the message that it’s all right to rest, much less that the time to live a healthy life is worth taking.
What did you say? I’m sorry, I was staying late at the office and eating Christmas cookies. Which were given to me by the lovely Alliance of my congregation. I should put a sign on the door this time of year: “Please Don’t Feed the Minister.”
I am surprised (but should not be) at the comments on my weight and the roundness of my face, delivered in the form of “needs” and “shoulds” as in “you really need to be on a diet” (said in the kitchen, in front of another congregant, after repeatedly offering me pie that I kept refusing) and “you should lose weight, your face is getting rounder and rounder.” Yes, these things are true…and there may be a time and place to share them with me out of respect and concern for my care…yet it doesn’t make it any less prickly, and yes, I am actually aware of these things myself… [I'm so sorry. That's such an infantilizing, inappropriate behavior. I've had doctors imperiously inform me that I need to exercise more and consume less calories. "REALLY, DOCTAH? I NEVAH KNEW!" I'm fat, not stupid. I hope you'll consider responding, "Gosh, I'm sorry my face is getting rounder. Let me know when it gets square enough for you. Or would rectangular be better?"- PB]
This attitude, sadly, is pretty prevalent in conservative Christain circles, gluttony being one of the 7 deadlies. A friend of mine who is overweight was not allowed to be a leader in a Bible Study Fellowship group due to her weight, since her “sin” was so visible. *smh* [Brilliant. Another reason to steer clear of these folks and their garbage theology. Because invisible sins are so much less... sinful. What the What? - PB]
I’ve been fat all my life and I don’t think that it has hindered me in anything I’ve really wanted to do (ok…let me correct that…i can’t do a really good cartwheel and haven’t had the chance to go horseback riding). But I think other people think it has hindered me, which I didn’t figure out until I went and did my career counseling at the ministry center in Dedham. I’m almost sure that I completely shocked the woman I spent most of my time with (not the psychologist, who I thought was really nice) by talking about all the things I do; as if she thought that because I’m such a strong introvert, I was going to be apologetic about my weight. That didn’t happen and I know she didn’t know what to do with that fact.
.
Actually, I’ve seen the opposite. Add race to the mix, and I get a number of people who want me to be Mammy to their Ms. Scarlet. I’m still trying to work on how I work that out.
I really appreciate your stating what shouldn’t need to be said, which is that compulsive over-eating is not about self-control.
In addition, being fat isn’t necessarily about compulsive eating or other forms of disordered eating. Both fat and thin folk can be unhealthy or healthy. I think we’re at a really interesting time in our culture where some people are understanding that body shaming and fat hatred are politicized moments for reflection and resistance…and others are caught in a cycle of perpetuating oppressive troupes about large bodies.
I look forward to a day when body size descriptors are neutral. It’s noteworthy that most comments here accept unquestioningly that being fat is necessarily negative, even though I hear a lot of compassion and humor and love too. If anyone is interested in learning more about the health at every size movement, a good place to start might be here:
http://www.haescommunity.org/
Even for those of us who embrace embodied theology, this is a hard season in which to love our bodies. I wish everyone the very best out there!
I have to say I think prejudice against fat people is not particularly better in my liberal denomination. I have heard it used by search committees and colleagues as a reason for not hiring someone. Odd that they would have made those comments to me as I am also a fat lady. And although there are behavioral aspects of fat, there are fat people even in places where food is hard to come by. In addition to cultural, social, and individual causes of size there are also genetic factors. There is also a fashion component as to what is considered fat. Many of the beauties of yesteryear are considered plump today. Many doctors have severe prejudices. I had one (for a very short time) who kept trying to put me on high blood pressure meds even though my blood pressure was normal just because she thought a person my size “should” have high blood pressure. She also kept telling me to exercise even though I had repeatedly shared with her that I swam five times a week. She couldn’t retain information that conflicted with her notion that all fat women sit around all day.
It seems that weight is an ongoing battleground. I am an emotional eater and currently in the throes of depression. It’s exhausting getting through the day, never mind trying to figure out what to make for dinner. I know I *should* make healthy meals ahead of time (considering I only really work one day a week) and then freeze them in portions and away we go. But that isn’t the reality of my life.
I try to make healthier choices at the grocery store, but sometimes it’s just overwhelming.
I’ve decided this year that my polite filters will be turned off over this Advent/Christmas/Epiphany season. So if someone says “My, you’re looking robust” when you know they really mean “holy cow you’re fat” I can look them in the eye and say “quality like this takes hard work”.
I don’t know why people think it’s appropriate to “weigh in” with opinions, especially when they have no idea what it is we clergy folk do from day to day.
My weight is on the upswing right now, which isn’t great, but I know, I’ll get back into healthier habits soon. And in the meantime, my vestments are always flawless and hide a multitude of sins.
Pass the Christmas cookies, please. I can bring eggnog if you’re wanting some…
My jaw dropped at this post. WTH? Where is his self-control??
*Disclaimer* I’m what society calls “normal” sized, but I’ve watched my seminary friends gain a lot of weight. I’ve repeatedly asked The Ladies to bring actual FOOD to meals and especially funeral dinners, but we still get full fat, white bread, iceberg, processed ham, and that monstrosity known as “processed cheez.” I ranted about it at my performance review and was told to “calm down,” or that funerals should be about “comfort food.” I freely admit I’m very lucky genetically but also have to work harder to combat what the congregants are feeding me and each other. I encourage us to think of ourselves as spirit/mind/AND body, but it doesn’t take. Frustrating.
Re Gina’s comment on Haddon Robinson’s excerpt in PB’s post: Another ugliness about the “theology” in certain conservative “Christian” circles is that weight issues become conflated with issues of women’s (specifically women’s) “worthiness.” Because, you know, you can’t possibly be a worthwhile wife (or wife candidate) unless your weight is within a certain range. And that you have only yourself to blame for the bad stuff your husband does if you’re not hawt enough for him.