Dear Peacebang,
At a recent visit to the optometrist, I learned I need to wear “progressive” lenses which is fancy doctor talk for BIFOCALS. I found some nice frames that I like and have been marveling at how much I can now see in the world. It’s like having my reading glasses on my face at all times, even when I’m not reading. This has meant, among other things, that when I am standing in front of the mirror brushing my teeth I can see my face for the first time in years up close. Oh. My. God. How long have those nose hairs been there unattended to? And the hair sticking out of my ears? And the enormous PORES on the end of my SHNOZ???
You have to get the word out. Wear your glasses in front of your boudoir! You don’t know what you’re missing!
Yours very sincerely,
___
Dear Progressive,
Congratulations! Better vision is indeed a good thing! Even though it can be shocking to get a good look at ourselves and realize that we have some grooming details to attend to. Remember, Awareness Is the First Step. A Norelco Nose Hair Trimmer may be the second step. Unfortunately there’s not much we can do for large pores, but a good facial and regular use of exfoliant and toner will certainly help.
Kiss, kiss and welcome to the world of the aging minister. I myself wear readers on top of contacts at this point and I suppose it’s just a matter of time before the jig is up and I have to do something more drastic. Thanks for writing!
Welcome to the world of progressives! They’re an amazing invention. And if you’re not sure that you’re seeing your face well enough in the mirror, it also helps to have a close, trusted friend who is charged with informing of needed grooming. Both my progressives and my dear friend are indispensable! The world, I hope, is equally grateful for both —
I am still in the camp of readers plus contacts, thank God. But I hear you…
“Progressives” are actually not a euphemism for “bifocals” (the way they are for “liberals”!) Bifocals have this horrid little LINE toward the bottom that make you feel 30 years older instantly. Rejoiced and be glad that you have progressives as an option. My little moment of aging truth was when I got contact lenses and saw that… I. Had. No. Eyebrows.
Progressive = varifocals, at least on this side of the pond.
I’m a nother who wears readers on top of contacts, and I dread the day when I can’t wear contacts…
I got progressives when I needed Tri-focals! Befote that I had bi-focal contacts which worked fine for me.