In short, PeaceBang thinks that chokers are mostly dated, tacky, and have limited appeal. If you lean slightly Gothward or Boho, I bet you can rock them. If you wear clericals, you don’t even need to think about them. Isn’t that convenient? A trend you can TOTALLY IGNORE with an even freer conscience than usual!
Posts in category Accessories
People die in the cold weather, as we all know, and sometimes you’ve got to be the one out there saying the appropriate words as they are laid to rest.
I did that this morning and the first thing I did when pulling up to the cemetery was peep out my car window to see if the mourners had hats on. They did not, so I left mine off, too. When in doubt, I take my cue from the folks I’m ministering to.
To whom I am ministering. Whatever. It’s Friday and we don’t have to be fancy and use correct grammar.
A former parishioner knitted me a beautiful stole-length scarf that I use for these occasions. I wore it stole style while doing the Committal and then wrapped it around me for warmth while the funeral director said a few words.
I love the special connection between funeral directors and clergy. This one I am just getting to know in my city a doll, too. He took my hand in his and said, “Have a merry and holy Christmas.” His eyes were full of care and I got a little teary. What a dear man. Some people just know how to lay on a blessing in a low-key way. It’s a gift.
I’m also showing you some pretty little vintage gloves I got somewhere, maybe a gift? The little embroidered detail sets these apart for formal occasions and I’m very glad I have them. I can hold my Kindle easily with them on, too, which isn’t possible with bulkier gloves.
Please don’t ever wear mittens to a Committal. Oh my God, I just thought of that. That would be so wrong, like, “AS SOON AS WE LAY GRANDPA TO REST WE’RE GONNA HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT, OKAY? THEN MOM’S GONNA MAKE HOT CHOCKY!” You will instantly be reduced in everyone’s eyes to a freckle-faced kid to whom they will want to feed Campbell’s tomato soup and grilled cheese and call “Tommy.”
Wear nice, grown-up gloves and go home and have some tomato soup and grilled cheese.
We are people who work with symbols and metaphors. It is part of our craft. A symbol that means a lot to me is the ouroboros, the snake or dragon devouring its own tail. This image speaks to me of primeval life -death-life cycle in a way that the Cross does not. The Cross is, for me, a statement about God’s action in the world and in history. The ouroboros is the same idea of the life-death-life cycle but out of history.
I have never seen an ouroborus I could wear until a few days ago, whattya know. I was in Salem, MA having coffee and doing some work when I wandered into one of the witchy shops to say hello and browse. Then I found the pendant and I put it on today and it felt helpful to have it on.
I went to bed last night at around 2 AM, woke up at 6 AM, wrote and responded to a lot of messages, then went back to sleep from 11AM to 2PM. It was as though I had been hit by a 2×4. I never managed a shower or make-up today — just washed my face and brushed my teeth. I got to church and kept responding to messages and talking to people, writing pastoral columns and making plans with my folks for the Sunday service and what’s next. I brought the dog with me to church.
Does this feel like 9/11 to you, pastorally? The sense of dread and foreboding is not the same for me but people’s shock and anxiety and grief is very similar. I feel compassion for the many, many people I have been hearing from who say that they’re shocked out of their complacency. Part of our job as social justice activist pastors (if you are one) will be to help our people engage in a way that respects the place and voice of those who have been doing the work for a long time. I know you may have been preaching the principles of anti-racism faithfully and cautioned against centering white voices and white feelings but people will be listening in a new way now.
God grant you strength, patience, compassion, humor and love. What a terrible way to build a movement, but here we are. Let us make something beautiful, strong and inviolable together.
What are you wearing that functions as a talisman to you? Send me photos!
This is my favorite manicure thing, although it looks better, I think, when the line of color is thinner.
I did a sheer pink with purply-cherry tips for Valentine’s Day.
You can also have your manicurist draw a very thin line of white, black, silver or gold between the two colors for even more zing.
Just a PSA for you ladies out there: when you raise your arms up, your bra cup should not hike up and show underboob. If that’s happening, you’re in the wrong bra size.
PeaceBang continues to despair about proper foundation garments among the clergy. She attended a fancy event some weeks ago where one of her colleagues was obviously braless, with results that were both sloppy, inappropriate and distracting.
If you must go braless for medical reasons, it is still possible to wear something that prevents all sorts of flopping around. Feminist commitments aside, no one’s dignity or freedom is served by anyone walking around looking like she has two muskrats fighting it out under her silk shirt.
For heaven’s sake.