Beauty Tips for Ministers

Larger Wrists Need Larger Watchbands

Uh-oh! PeaceBang is noticing a small but not insignificant problem out there among the more abundant-bodied among us: the wearing of watches that seem to have a tight, angry death grip on the wrist.

Why is this a problem? Because when I am worried that my minister is cutting off the circulation in her arm, it distracts me from my counseling session, committee meeting or worship service. A wristwatch that looks painfully tight says to me, “Is this person fully present in their own body? How can she not notice the way her wrist is caught in a vise-like grip of leather or metal right now?”

I am seeing this on women clergy only, which leads me to believe that men have a far wider range of sizes available to them in the wristwatch scene. Gals, if you can’t fit two fingers under the band of your watch, it’s too tight. Please make the effort to find something that fits and that is the appropriate proportion for your body. Uncomfortably tight watches with small faces do not work for those of us with meat on our wrists. If this is you, do yourself a favor and get yourself a watchband that fits.

She Clutched

Let’s get real! I know that clutch bags are all the rage right now, and I even own a few (some purchased thousands of years ago), but they’re impractical! They’re often too tiny to fit much more than a lip gloss and a credit card. They are often very pretty but make Woman of Size look even bigger — who needs a Lilliputian handbag against one’s abundant waist to highlight her girthiness? No one, darlings, trust me on this.

The thing is, a clutch bag is really the very best option for formal events. It is the only option when one doesn’t want to stand around in a social or professional networking setting with a purse slung over one’s shoulder messing with the line and fit of one’s clothing (the blazer that looks good with a purse strap hanging off it has yet to be invented).

Yes, one can always leave her briefcase on her seat and work the room, shaking hands unobstructed by any bag at all. But not every event is a sit-down event and sometimes leaving one’s purse behind is neither practical nor possible. Yes, you could go without a bag but PeaceBang cannot. PeaceBang HAS TO HAVE HER BAG.

So at long last, I have found a clutch for me. It is big, it folds over to make a beautiful, elegant bag that tucks under one’s arm, but it also holds with handles for a less formal look. It is appropriate to PeaceBang’s bodacious scale. It was 50% off at Macy’s. I bought it in white.

When it folds over it looks like this:

In it, I can fit my wallet, my cosmetics case, a cell phone, my keys, and a tiny camera. I will be carrying it with me to a reunion of my high school madrigal ensemble in Connecticut this weekend. I imagine I will get a lot of use out of it. I will clean it with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser (yes! there’s a tip you can bank on!) and keep it stored in tissue paper in the closet to keep it unscuffed. I think it will work all year ’round, which you can’t say for every white bag. This one is shiny PVC and I am pretty sure will look lovely with a black suit and white blouse in the winter. It also comes in a bright pink, orange, screaming yellow and black.

She Found Her Bag

Rev. Bee, who, by her own admission, has had a slightly scary obsession with finding the right bag for awhile, wants you all to know that she has reached the Promised Land of Bags here with the good people of the Raine Brooke Company.

She bought a Nunzia Michele and blogged about it here at The Vagabond Priest.

Mazel tov, darling! Carry it in good health. We totally understand.

The Context of Image

Remember how we’re always talking about geographic and cultural context of our ministry and how that influences what we choose to wear?

Perfect example in these two pastor gents.

Exhibit A, Paul S. from Vermont:

Right? Rural, lumberjack-y, approachable, warm, plaid. I’d like to see him trim the beard up a bit but I’m mostly just saying that because he already wants to kill me for taking this photo, so “HEEEEEEEY, PAUL! Smile, you’re on BTFM!!!” That’s not a smile he’s got on his face, it’s a homicidal grimace. I thought you’d want to know that, in case you were worried.

Exhibit B, Daniel K. from Dallas:

Now, is this one cool cat or what? From head to toe, this man is cosmopolitan, sophisticated, hip, and very polished. His hair is awesome. His glasses rock. His shoes are fantastic. The whole thing is really great looking. If he was in Vermont, people might look at him funny, like, “Just what are you trying for there, there, city slicker?” But for a large congregation in Dallas he’s got leadership presence and a sense of himself that’s unmistakably right for that setting.

Just in case you wanted to dig those specs up close, here they are again:

I don’t know how I managed to make such a good looking guy look so goofy, but that’s my photographic skills, not Daniel’s handsomeness factor. Trust. Sorry, DK.

I ADORE The Bag, and Bless Your Heart!!!

It came in a box today.

I have been expecting a Skinceuticals purchase or some Snapfish photos so when I saw the large, light box methought, “What’s this?” I opened it and squealed with joy, because some generous and lovely human being had sent me the beautiful Pacific Design computer bag I had added, and then forgotten about, to my Amazon Wish List some time ago.

I have been hunting for the perfect laptop bag for some time and although I purchased a wonderful vegetarian briefcase as a Christmas gift for myself by Mat & Nat, and it does hold my laptop, it’s not really wide enough to carry anything else, it isn’t padded, and it’s got a long shoulder strap that doesn’t give the best support to carrying a computer. I am happy to have it and use it a lot, but it hasn’t really met my need for a good computer carrying case.

Well, mercy me. I’m in BAG HEAVEN. I found a PERFECT Giani Bernini mustard-colored handbag for 60% off at Macy’s two weekends ago (I’m very particular about bags — and I had been searching for exactly these dimensions, this color and this design at this price for years) and now this wonderful anonymous gift from one of my pigeons! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it — 727 posts into this blog, it just warms the cockles of my heart to know that ya’ll are out there getting something from my little typing paws.

And speaking of paws, I need a manicure in the worst way. But I want to get into the garden this Friday so that will have to wait.

Headbands For Gals

Since I’ve grown my hair, I enjoy wearing a wide variety of hair accessories. On most days I pull back my bangs with a clip or barrette because it’s easy, but I’ve worn silly little Princess Leia buns, headbands, scarves (cue Cher singing “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves”) and big clips. I do not wear, and shall never wear, scrunchies (AUGH! So 80’s!), cutesy barrettes (although I vacillate on what constitutes too cutesy for my age and station), or big plastic banana clips.

Headbands seem to be back in a big way this season, but they’re not the old Hillary Clinton types that make us look either too Alice In Wonderlandy or plain dowdy (remember Bunny in “Sex and the City?” Like that: scary preppy dowager).

For your consideration, some head-bandish options:

Ethnic, cool, I’d ditch the triangle over the eye but otherwise this is beautiful and interesting. Would look great with a tailored jacket and slacks. Don’t try it if you can’t carry it off.

You may snicker if you like, but PeaceBang wears headscarves like this all summer, only without the dramatic “drop.” She of Eastern European heritage on both sides and it comes naturally to her. I like this look with high wedge sandals, a pair of linen trousers, and simple white blouse with a turquoise or other chunky necklace. The lines of your clothes need to be simple with this headwrap, or you risk looking like Mama Babushka.

Eeek! Bunny! Muffy! Skip and Tad are totally wasted on g&t’s! Don’t let them drive the boat back!

These should not be adorning the head of any self-respecting professional woman. They are the hair accessory equivalent of a reindeer sweater:

On the other hand, headbands come in a variety of fabrics and can be quite elegant if one chooses wisely from among them. Wider bands are very flattering, and avoid that “Hi, I’m Babs and I’d love your vote for Student Council President!” vibe.

Regardez :

A nice satin.

Kind of retro! Kinda groovy! Also satiny.

A dupioni silk that allows a mature woman the whimsy of polka dots but with far more polish and appropriateness than the previous dotty option. Note that the dots are irregular and almost animal print-ish. Fun. Would look great with a sweater set, mid-length pencil skirt and sling back pumps.

Not my favorite print (I kind of hate it, actually) but I wanted to show you something in charmeuse silk. Again, far more adult than the stiff little-girl bands.

I absolutely LOVE this look, the double-wrap headband, although it requires some work in teasing the crown of the hair that I have yet to master:

And for you very short-haired gals out there, remember that a headband can look sophisticated IF you’ve got a sharp hair cut and you wear some sophisticated make-up. A headband slapped on a nothing-special haircut and haphazard outfit is a common enough sight, but look how chic the right one can be!
Just run a little bit of product through your locks (a molding paste and a few drops a shine serum), put the headband on, apply some peachy gloss and blush, some mascara and a carefully smudged gray liner or shadow around your eyes. Really nice! A slim, flat satin band in a spring color (try orange! or aqua!) would also look lovely here.