Not to rage all over a recent commenter like a gorilla in those old Samsonite commercials* but I gotta say this:
NO VESTS IN THE PULPIT!! EVER!!
Here’s the thing.
Vests are really floaty, groovy garments. Unless you’re wearing a fitted vest Victorian-style, which is super sexy and you should feel free to do on your days off when you feel like dressing like Mary Poppins and wearing high-button boots scampering in the park with penguins, vests do NOT belong on professional women and especially not on preachers. They are Kumbaya to the Max. They are Youth Minister Who Got Dismissed For Introducing the Kids To ‘Shrooms c. 1973. And that’s at best. At worst they are super frumpy, irrevocably frumpy, unstructured fabric hanging off one’s shoulders and sticking to one’s bum and back fat in the most unfetching possible way.
If they’re the Guatemalan embroidered type of vest, they are even worse. They are macrame and fondue party and there is no way you will ever, ever convince PeaceBang that you KNOW all this but you SWEAR you look really GREAT in your vest. Nope, not buying it. Fish ain’t biting. PeaceBang has a few summer vests that she wears with JEANS and a cute little straw fedora-type hat and little leather sandals and that is where vests belong. They do NOT belong on preachers.
I am going to seclude myself in prayer now because I fear that the J Jill-aficionados are going to come forth with spears in hand to try to stab through my resolve on this. But I am arming myself with the armor of God’s righteousness on this, and I will not relent.
Unless you send photos proving me wrong. I can sort of imagine a long cotton vest paired with a long flowing skirt looking sort of pretty with a stole but I am NOT WAVERING ‘TIL I SEE LIVING PROOF.
*Correction, it was American Tourister.
Used to love a simple, very tailored vest for the office in the summer, as a way to add polish to shirts & pants in the heat. I agree that they need to be used with extreme caution.
To wit: I bought a slate blue/black vest (Goodwill is, I still say, the cheapest way to experiment). I imagined putting it with some black pants and a soft, white short-sleeved blouse and some fun jewelry. Before I could get to the fun jewelry, I looked in the mirror and said, “Hi. Welcome to Burger King.” [Ba ha ha! YEA ya did! – PB]
But its OK in a guy’s three piece preaching suit…right?…right? [Of course, my spiffy colleague! – PB]
Honestly, I have decided this summer that I am just staying in my breathable microfiber WomenSpirit robe and stole to preach. I kept wondering what is the preaching suit equivalent for me as a woman, and the thing is, women’s clothes are never neutral: hemline too short, too long, nylons? slacks? clothes too mannish,too foofy, too hot (tho we are air conditioned at my church), too casual, too formal in contrast to the summer congregation…so I finally decided to dress as a preacher and feel it’s been a good decision. Keeps the focus on God rather than on my clothing.
I gave up the vests when I stopped being the youth person, and agree with you!
You are absolutely right!
Almost died reading your J. Jill paragraph. HAAAAAAAAAAA! I do have a vest that makes gay men swoon, but I’d say in general you’ve knocked this one out of the park.
Really?! I suppose that means I need to retire my collection of seasonal vests. And I had just fished out my red, white, and blue star vest for this weekend… [*sound of angels singing* Thank you, Jesus. I have saved my sister from a SEASONAL VEST. – PB]
Haha – it was my post that launched this brilliant tirade! I can actually get on board with this comment – that’s why I said something like for every 100 that are hideous you may find one that works. I will send a pic when I return from vacation and you can see if this is a worthy exception.
I love the way the gal on the Ephemera blog wore three vests in this post:
http://sheilaephemera.blogspot.com/2011/06/finally-week-is-over-recap.html
Granted, she’s not clergy, but couldn’t something good be learned from those styles?
[She’s fun!! She needs some make-up, though, I think, as the hair color and bright clothes make her face disappear. The first outfit feels like too much is going on and the skirt too short and tight, but her use of vests is generally fab. None of it in any way suitable for preaching, however. – PB]