Beauty Tips for Ministers

The Dreaded Sandals With Pantyhose

I’ve been writing this blog for two years, and I know you’re out there. You read. You iron. You look in the mirror and do hair management and Stole Straightening before you go preside at a funeral. You are walking taller and looking sharper because you’ve realized that clergy image matters, that whether we like it or not, our exterior selves do represent an interior reality. You’re spiffin’ up for Jesus (or God or Buddha or Allah or … The Great To Whom It May Concern).

And then Peacebang attended a Ceremonial Event and one of her colleagues was wearing Bierkenstocks with vestments. But not just that: Bierkenstocks with panty hose.

And PeaceBang knew her work was far from done.

How To Wear (Or Not) “The Latest Fashion”

Darling readers with concerns about how to wear the “new” chic jacket shape, a word for you: if it doesn’t work for your shape, don’t.

This goes for all of us, with all trends. And let’s not call them trends, because that sounds so frivolous and ephemeral. Let’s say, “style changes,” which helps us understand that when we pay attention to fashion, we are not falling prey to some kind of idiotic consumerism but respecting that just as there are changes and innovations in, say, Scripture interpretation, there are also innovations in how people look — especially people who strive for a public image that communicates an interest in what’s happening today, now. It is the way of the world. Those who claim in superior tones to be “above it all” are not actually above anything at all but are merely stubborn, in denial, and very likely lookin’ pretty frumpy out there.

Do flip through a mainstream fashion magazine at least once a season. You don’t have to buy it; just flip through it. Do take a moment to check out the displays in store windows and at flagship stores in the mall (Macy’s and Dillard’s and Banana Republic, not “Forever 21″ or “Hot Topic.”) Do be aware of why that Hawaiian print collarless, buttonless jacket in your closet that falls to mid-thigh is hopelessly 1980’s, and not in a good way, and be aware of the latest cuts and silhouettes. Then translate them to your own body. There is never just one classic or fashionable look available at a time, sweethearts, there are many. If boxy, short jackets makes you look like a big meatball, don’t get NEAR them. Find a short belted jacket with fun pockets in a great color. Add a belt to one of your favorite classic cardigans and pair it with a blouse that’s more au courant. There are thousands of options for you to choose from, and lots of creative ways to update what you already have. You just have to pay attention, be willing to weed out your closet at least annually to get rid of hopelessly outdated looks that will immediately identify you as stuck in 1993, and learn what works for your shape.

Remember: Just Because It Still Fits Doesn’t Mean You Should Wear It.
And if you truly have no wardrobe budget and foresee no possibility of having one in the near future, stick to classics (nice black trousers, crisp white blouse, classic pumps, blazer) and make sure they fit well and are kept impeccably clean and pressed. We should all be clean and pressed, of course, but if you have six items hanging in your closet and only six, you’ll feel better about them if they look really immaculate. There’s no need for a big wardrobe anyway. There is, however, a need to pay attention to wildly out-of-date garments you may still be donning on a regular basis and to part ways with them.

Jackets, Jackets, Jackets: Have Some Fun!

Darlings, this season is ALL all jackets and there are oodles of fun ones out there! Why not get out of the typical Working Girl Blazer, whose lines can look so classic as to be positively boring, and take a look at some of the new styles that have been in for a couple of years, and whose sillhouettes seem here to stay, fashion-wise (which means 5 years or so)?

Regardez, pigeons! It’s all about this kind of thing now:

And not so much about this any more:

It’s also totally not about any of these blazers from Chadwicks, which are just ugly for lots of interesting reasons: ugly, cheap-looking colors, ugly plaid, ugly 80’s patterns and ugly, trying-to-be-fashionable cuts. Yikereenos!!

It might be a little bit of a challenge, but see if you can step out of the boxy blazer-with-blouse look. There are beautiful options out there that can add a whole lot of flair to your wardrobe and that are especially great for church events when you want to look like a person who actually has a sense of fun and doesn’t need to be all buttoned up all the time. Of course, that might go against the clerical image you’re trying to project but if it doesn’t, but all means enjoy some of the terrific new jackets on the racks this season. They’ve been on sale long enough that you can find some very nice ones considerably discounted. PeaceBang just scored a very flattering black cotton jacket much like the top photo for $19 at Macy’s, marked down from $75. I’ll wear it with a pencil skirt and some heels, and I’m still figuring out what blouses and shirts will work with the cut.

And now, back to The Sermon That Does NOT Want To Be Written!!!!!!!

Transitional Seasons

Dearest bun-buns,

PeaceBang is taking a moment of quiet to check in with you while the beagle sleeps in the living room and the cat sulks upstairs in her own little room after a little “let’s get to know each other” encounter on the stairs that didn’t go very well. PeaceBang is trying to Breathe Deeply.

Transitional seasons like New England spring are difficult. It’s easy to fall into a Frump Slump and wear the same bundly sweaters and blazers and earth tones, being grateful we can skip the heavy coat and leaving it at that. But let’s not do that. Let’s remember that we have an opportunity to look as though something miraculous just might happen — like Christ rising from the tomb, for example, or the Democratic Party deciding not to act like a bunch of stooges around the Obama-Clinton race. Let’s add bright spots of color to our winter outfits in the form of light scarves or bright shoes or a nice Eastery-hued tie on the guys.

Women, how about baby pink or hot pink paired with brown? Looks fab. Or a wonderful turquoise top or earrings with a denim skirt and white t-shirt? Get out your knee-length springtime skirts and wear them with nubby cardigans, opaque tights and cute flats in a matching color. Carry a bright yellow bag. Get our your white boot cut denim summer trousers and wear them with a black sweater and white faux pashmina wrap with butter-colored boots. Be creative.

Look at the items in your closet with fresh eyes, and get out there and be fresh. In a good way, I mean. Not like a certain beagle puppy I know who hasn’t been neutered yet and who keeps trying to make puppies with all the female visitors to the parsonage.
Naughty Max!

The Exquisite Decorum of the Episcopal Good Friday Service

No one does liturgy like the Piskies. They have it DOWN: decorum, demeanor, graceful transitions from element to element, gracious and confident administration of the sacraments. I attended a Maundy Thursday service at a liberal Christian church in Boston last night and Good Friday at the Cathedral Church in Boston. I love the people who presided at both services, but let me just say this:
liturgically-oriented Unitarian Universalists and other Free Church folk, hear me: attend worship with the Episcopalians and see how it’s done, please. I love you dearly but I beg of you. Go thou and study.

I attended today’s service with a friend and his comment at the end of everything was “They are better than anyone else at making a space for the Mystery.” And I said, “I couldn’t agree with you more, but that Acolyte totally should not have been wearing Merrell Jungle Mocs with white socks under her robe.”

Everything else was glorious.

Commenting On Your Capri Comments

Look! I blab on some more about capris in response to your blabbing about capris! We love this! We have found The Hot Fashion Topic of the Day!