First, she wrote me this letter,
Major debate here at Chez Mibi – to dye my hair or not? I am in my late 50s, recently ordained, plump but workin’ on it, and well-groomed as a result of paying careful attention to BTFM. My hair is nicely and professionally cut. It is pretty much white at the front, dark brown at the back. I am running into problems in job search with folks automatically thinking “grandma” when they see me and equating that with an inability to get stuff done. Yes I am a grandma, but I’m a hip, happening kind of grandma who has energy and gifts to offer. I fear that the white hair gets in the way…should I dye it or not? Husband loves it as is, and it’s certainly easier than tending to roots every six weeks (I dyed it before seminary), but I wonder if I’m looking older than I am. What say ye?
That’s a toughie, I wrote. Can you send some photos?
So she did.
I wrote,
I LOVE your two-tone hair!LOVE IT! The first, little photo is fabulous — I think the hair is great over your face a bit, very intentional, very “I have two-tone hair,” love it. The lipstick is wonderful. The second photo is a little more “typical short-haired middle aged woman,” which still isn’t terrible because your great, sassy smile and sparkling eyes and obvious energy are what I really see. So I would say leave the color alone, keep your hair conditioned, do make an effort to style it in a way that highlights the contrast and to avoid the dreaded “chopped off any old way” sexless lady-priest thing, and work that lipstick as a signature accessory. Your gaze in that first photo tells me everything I need to know about how much you have to offer, as it says, “I’m right at the gate and rarin’ to go!” I see intelligence, wit, vibrancy… never mind your chronological age!
And how did you get such gorgeous skin, lady!?
Can I post this?
She said I could. So I did.
PeaceBang firmly believes that a LOT of frumpy pastors would do well to color their hair (not with henna! not with henna! It’s not really “natural,” it’s impossible to correct, it’s frequently a flat and ugly hue). But each person is different. I think in Mary’s case, that two-tone hair can be fabulous. Again, cut and style is everything, and a touch of make-up goes a long way toward pulling it all together.
Thanks, Mary!! Kiss of peace to you!!
Wow, I would have put her at 50, not late 50s, and I don’t think grandma when I see her. There is a woman on a church committee with me who has almost the exact same hair style and coloring, and it looks very good on her, too.
At 48, I have two-toned hair (dark brown under, and nearly grey over-layer). I will not think of it as ‘old lady’. I am TABBY STRIPED.
If you are going to go grey, it does help if your skin is in very good condition. And do use a PURPLE shampoo–it neutralizes the yellow or brassy tones which make grey hair look dull, dirty and lifeless. Keep it cut well and pay attention to styling. I think it can look very classy and sharp.
I echo your sentiments and have to say she looks amazing 🙂
Good advice!
She really does look great with two-tone hair.
Henna? Not natural?
Only if you’re buying the wrong stuff. I think this has been discussed before, here–specifically that”black” henna has additives, which may be natural but not henna, or may be of a different and more dangerous nature, entirely.
I like the Wikipedia entry about the henna plant because in addition to being informative about henna and all the fake stuff and additives that can be found in some henna, it also mentions the plant’s appearance in the Song of Solomon. 😉
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henna
The *color* it imparts may not be all that natural, however…
I come from a long line of gals who colored their hair and i am not about to break that tradition 😉 IF, i say IF, Mary chose to color, i suggest she NOT attempt to turn the grey/white hairs back to the dark brown. Go for turning the grey hair to a lighter shade of the natural color-Perhaps whatever color her hair was as a child. This honors the gorgeous two-tone look, (The tabby stripes!) while helping disguise the snow on the roof. Going to a salon for a temporary rinse can give her an idea of how it would look.
I do need to add that my ‘decision’ to let my hair colour be what it wants wasn’t driven by a desire to be ‘natural’, or to ‘let myself go’, or stop trying to look younger.
It was driven by purely medical concerns. I got hit with Bell’s Palsy a year ago, and couldn’t blink my eye for several months. The blink is back but it’s still weak, and any strong fumes/odours irritate the life out of my eye.
The hair looks great, the smile looks great, the skin is marvellous (envy!). On both women.
But the stoles look so “did it myself”….ugh- I know that´s an other issue. But I had to mention it.
Hmmm… I was going to comment on how neat the stoles were…. They look like they might fit a feminine form better than the thick, six-inch-wide, strips of heavy cloth that drape me most Sundays…
I love knitwear and crochet home accessories, but to me those stoles don’t look like liturgical gear. They look like ‘let’s build snowmen on the church lawn’.
According to Mtr. “Mibi” on her own website http://rev2bmibi.blogspot.com/, she and her friend “L” made stoles for each other.
http://rev2bmibi.blogspot.com/2009/12/couple-more-pictures-from-ordination.html
Red stoles are not worn all that often in The Episcopal Church – the Feast of Pentecost, ordinations, and comfirmations are the most common occasions to wear red. These priests will be reminded of their friendship and of the day of their priestly ordination every time they wear the stoles. Pretty cool, I think.
I’m aware that red stoles are not worn often in Anglican Communion churches, and it’s wonderful to have one that is a special gift. But I’m sorry–those just do not look like liturgical stoles to me, they look like woolly scarves.
Pentecost is a springtime festival, and many of the ordinations are spring/summer (ALL here in the Diocese of Canterbury). So, is wrapping up to play in the snow the right thing? I don’t think it is. I think it’s a sentimentality about the friendship, not a marker of the liturgical celebrations for which the stoles will be worn.
They’re more likely to be a distraction and confusion than anything else to the congregations these women will serve.
Sorry–they’re beautiful women, and it’s great that they wanted to do something special for each others’ ordination. A stole is a great way to do it. Just not THESE stoles.
Thanks for the kind words, friends. I’ll leave the two-tone thing happening.
Hafidha sofia…pegging me at 50? You’re my new best friend…
As for the stoles, some folks like them, some don’t. To each his or her own. I love the one L made me, just as I love the very rustic handprint one the children in the parish made me, and the exquisite purple dupioni silk one with handmade lace that my SIL made me, and the magnificent Sarum blue one that was made for our parish…all beautiful, though not all would make it into the Wippell’s catalog!
Great big kiss to the Incomparable PeaceBang and those who weighed in.
Mary
nice call, PB. This lady is one of the most beautiful people I know, and her beautiful hair is not the least of it.