Beauty Tips for Ministers

When Wearing What’s Right Makes You Cranky

June 30, 2009 on 9:03 pm | In Beautiful Leadership, Clergy Image | 4 Comments

I’m one of the preacher’s for tomorrow morning’s worship service that kicks off the convention of the New England Chapter of the American Guild of Organists and honored to be so, except that I’m kind of bummed out by the request to wear our Big Puffy Preaching Gowns and Academic Hoods.

I know such regalia is appropriate to the occasion; this is purely a matter of personal preference and comfort, which as PeaceBang likes to say, Is Not What We’re Here To Serve.

I’d like to wear a Sunday morning robe and stole. They travel better, they’ve far more comfortable in sticky weather, and I like the image they communicate (Pastor Preacher rather than Learned Clergy) better.

Women clergy have a whale of a job trying to find something suitable to go under that Geneva gown. Back in the day (according to Wikepedia), Harvard men were expected to wear dress whites under their gowns, which they wore after May 1st on campus (LOVE that!). I hate the sloppy look of an bare neck under the gown, which is obviously designed to accomodate menswear underneath (or a clerical collar or tabs, neither of which are traditional in my tradition). I similarly hate the look of bare wrists under the Big Puffy Sleeves That Make PeaceBang Look Like A Half-Back From the New York Giants. My arms are just silly-short and the proportions are simply awful.

Isn’t this floofy? Mine is black and of course I don’t have the hat, but put this on a 5′3″ woman with an ample bazoom and it’s just Pigeon on Parade.

As soon as I finish my homily and prayer I’ll go pick up the robe from church and try it on with various white blouses and black slacks combinations. After that it’s Shoe Choice. I need the height of a heel, and should not wear anything open-toe for such an important occasion. This severely limits my options.

Then there’s the question of a stole. Being a Unitarian Universalist, all of my stoles are creative and eclectic. None of them, save one so flimsy that it flops around too much and therefore doesn’t get worn much, is classic enough to work with the Geneva gown. Therefore, I think I shall leave off the stole and hope to high heaven that I don’t look the odd (wo)man out when I arrive in the morning.

Why am I being so neurotic about these details tonight?
Because I think the world of church musicians and I think they’re worth the angst.