New Favorite Lippy

All of my pigeons know that I am desperately devoted to a now-discontinued lip color in the Cover Girl Outlast All Day line, and that I have stock-piled supplies that should last me until my fiftieth birthday, or until I pay off my seminary loans — whichever comes first.

But because I feel heavy-laden with guilt for extolling the virtues of a lip color that is unavailable to my readers, I have searched high and low for a replacement product that I can feel good about recommending to you as a go-to neutral for everyday wear for women of a wide variety of skin colorings (you’ll have to experiment, of course: I suspect this is not the shade for very dark-skinned gals, but another in the same line might be — if so, will you let us know?).

Drum roll, please, darlings. Or a kick-line, if that works for you. Let’s line up the Rockettes and announce that Revlon ColorStay Overtime Lipcolor in “Bare Maximum” is PeaceBang’s new favorite lip color!!

Hells bells, does this stuff stay on! Remember how in “Titanic,” Kate Winslet slogged through icy thigh-high ocean water in an evening gown, running for her life and eventually almost freezing to death floating in the dark, dark sea on a bit of flotsam as her lover Jack drowned before her very eyes, causing her to bleat “Jaaaaaack! Jaaaaaack” in a way that PeaceBang can imitate with scary accuracy, and while all of this life crisis was happening, her eyeliner and rosy lips remained PERFECT? Remember that?

Well, if you get some of this lippy, you can get through your own worst day with rosy lips at the end of it, too. You can wake up, get the kids off the school, write a sermon, attend four meetings, make a hospital visit, eat a greasy spinach and feta cheese croissant, drink nineteen cups of coffee, agitate for social justice and advocate for world peace and your lips are going to be lovely when you wash your face that night.

And that’s what I call blessed assurance, darlings.

A good washcloth should do you for removal of this amazing product, but PeaceBang recommends this yummy stuff for the winter months (available at Bath & Body Works for $7.50 — fun stocking-stuffer, non?), and she also recommends that you top the Revlon lippy with some gloss throughout the day (the gloss comes with the lip color), because it is drying.

A special shout-out to my Union Theological beauties, about whom I shall be writing in days to come when I am not quite so swamped with the work of ministry as I am right now. Stay tuned, UTS gang!