Beauty Tips for Ministers
Because you're in the public eye, and God knows you need to look good.
The Dreaded Sandals With Pantyhose
May 5, 2008 on 8:51 pm | In Clergy Image, Fighting Frump, Shoes (Gals) |I’ve been writing this blog for two years, and I know you’re out there. You read. You iron. You look in the mirror and do hair management and Stole Straightening before you go preside at a funeral. You are walking taller and looking sharper because you’ve realized that clergy image matters, that whether we like it or not, our exterior selves do represent an interior reality. You’re spiffin’ up for Jesus (or God or Buddha or Allah or … The Great To Whom It May Concern).
And then Peacebang attended a Ceremonial Event and one of her colleagues was wearing Bierkenstocks with vestments. But not just that: Bierkenstocks with panty hose.
And PeaceBang knew her work was far from done.
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Birkenstocks should be sold with warning labels informing the potential wearer that they are not to be worn in the vicinity of neckties. If it is at all possible that someone present might be wearing a necktie then the Birkenstocks are totally inappropriate.
Comment by Larry Smith — May 6, 2008 #
I’m speechless. Not just Bierkenstocks, not just panty hose with open-toed shoes…but panty hose with Bierkenstocks. I hope if I ever do something like that I have a lovely colleague or parishoner knock me on the head like they do in those V-8 commercials!
Comment by Beth Boisvert — May 6, 2008 #
you make me laugh when I need it. thank you for this post.
Last night, I dreamt about finding lemon yellow and kelly green birkis in the give-away pile at church. they were so bright and cheerful, that I put them on…and kept them on. even though it was sunday.
however, it was a dream, and thank god I didn’t have on pantyhose.
Comment by karla — May 6, 2008 #
i don’t know which is the greater fashion faux pas. birkenstocks with vestments or birkenstocks with nylons. there is one positive peacebang can take in all of this - the were not crocs? an early mark your calendar date: nordstroms women’s 1/2 yearly (includes shoes, handbags and accesories) will start on 5/21. markdowns will start at 40%. AND most departments will have ministry approved clothing.
Comment by zebrafeet — May 6, 2008 #
yeah, my pastor wears her sandals with both nylons and her robe.
every sunday i see it and i think of you pb….
Comment by jeff — May 6, 2008 #
Birkenstocks with vestments at least has a monastic feel…though I’d never do it.
But what I want to know is whether there is anything male clergy can do that is as dreadful as Birks and nylons? I’m sure there is….but what?
Comment by Aelred — May 6, 2008 #
OK - and now something from the Devil’s Advocate.
My feet hurt. I suspect that it has something to do with the the overabundance of fluffitude on my part…but my feet hurt when I am standing, walking, etc. And so sometimes, I confess, Dear Ecclesiastical Style Maven, I have worn something Birkenstock like with an alb. (Actually, they accomodate my orthotics.) I just want to be able to focus on what I am doing, saying, singing - rather than on my poor feet.
But never, ever, ever have I worn them with nylons! Do I have absolution?
Comment by Marni — May 6, 2008 #
Oh, ugh!
Zebrafeet, they are both horrid, but Birkies with pantyhose are worse. I say this because I have spent so much time in campus ministry where, well, sandals do creep into liturgical gear. (Not into mine, heaven forbid, except for some black sandals from Dansko’s Golden Gate collection that have a tailored look. And frankly, I can’t remember what shoes I wore with an alb a gazillion years ago, I may have sinned grievously…) As they do in California.
But if they are either neat, dressy and leather OR the Franciscan simplicity look (which in some settings for ministry is fully appropriate) they are not the appalling aesthetic horror of pantyhose with Birkies or other sandals. ARGH!!
The only thing that comes close is someone wearing knee-high hose with a skirt and showing it.
{fans herself}
PB, yours is a holy calling. Thank you again.
Comment by Caroline Divine — May 6, 2008 #
Ok, I am a white girl. I mean flourescent white. I glow in the dark. I’m pale, I’m telling ya!
I think my bare legs would be distracting under my robe and and only wear very sheer nude with a nude toe with an open toed shoe or dressy sandal or nice flats in the summer, not Birkenstocks.
BTW, in California and Oregon, people often wear their Birkis with socks. Very granola, not fashion forward.
Comment by revtoots — May 7, 2008 #
revtoots, Mary Kay’s gradual tanning lotion is GREAT, works well, and doesn’t stink to high heaven like the Banana Boats and Jergens varieties. (Nope, I don’t sell it, and in general I don’t care for Mary Kay.)
Comment by Mrs. M — May 7, 2008 #
And while we’re on the subject, I need to know:
PB, am I extending my time in fashion purgatory if I wear pumps without stockings in the summer? With skirts or skirt suits (even if my legs are in good shape, cleanshaven, and I regularly use some sort of tanning lotion)? [Not at all, dear. - PB]
Thank you.
Comment by Mrs. M — May 7, 2008 #
The problem with Mary Kay products is that they come with Mary Kay ladies! They won’t sell you just one thing. And I haven’t trusted any self tanner since my legs went bright orange in high school. And I just think my legs look more attractive with panty hose than bare. In addition to being pale, I have weight issues.
Back in the day, when I was young and slender and the sun was our friend, I used to lay outside and burn, then tan. Those were the days. Dang skin cancer fears!
Comment by revtoots — May 7, 2008 #