Ladies,
PeaceBang just can’t help with this one. God did not give her a vocation to motherhood (except for mothering four-legged critters).
So we need help and advice from Reverend Mothers out there.
The lovely Katrina, who is in the family way, writes:
I am a loyal reader for quite some time. I love the blog and all your tips. However, I’ve had a change of circumstances (I’m pregnant!!) and need some advice. First, do you know of any great products for the prevention of stretchmarks? Second, what do I do during this strange in between period when my pants don’t fit but I’m too small for maternity wear? Help!
I know that my loyal readers will have loads of help for you, Katrina. And congratulations on the coming ba-noo-noo.
Lovely Katrina – If your pants don’t fit, you are *not* too small for maternity wear. OK, too small what you may need later, but *not* too small for some of the neat stuff designed for these early stages. Rejoice in the freedom to wear stretchable, non-fitted waists, without guilt or shame.
Alas, I found plenty of products to prevent stretch marks — much product later, I’ve come to view my stretch marks (when I absolutely have to look at them) as medals of honor.
Hello Katrina,
Congratulations! The best way of preventing stretchmarks is not to put on more than 28lbs – that way your skin won’t have to stretch so far. And moisturise, moisturise, moisturise.
For your second problem, buy up to the waist granny knickers, which will go over the bump until you are 20 weeks along (when he/she reaches your tummy button). Blessings on you both and the child!
I’ve got to disagree somewhat with the notion that stretch marks are directly related to weight gain, at least in my experience and the experience of people I know. To some extent it is genetic according to my midwife and to what I read, and it isn’t all that uncommon to see someone who didn’t gain all that much weight with a lot of stretch marks and the converse.
Of course, gaining a reasonable amount of weight and exercising as long as possible is ideal, but a bad bout of morning sickness or a period of mandated bed rest can kill the best laid plans.
My midwife recommended crisco of all things, both for stretch marks and more importantly for the itching that can come when the skin really gets tight. Gross but cheap.
As far as pants go, I am very much a devotee of the chicos travelers stuff–they can stretch a mile and not look clingy, and other things hang nicely over them. I wore them both in early pregnancy and postpartum and they wear like iron and don’t show stains (IE baby spit). Another good option is to get a pair or two of maternity pants with either the low rise waist and a sort of trim fit. I never could get these to work for very long, but they were handy early on and postpartum. This was one time I shopped at the Gap. I think there’s a better selection online if you have a hard time finding anything in stores.
I agree with madgebaby. There isn’t much you can do about stretch marks, you are either going to get them or not. The thing about stretch marks is that they look awful and red (at least on my fair skin) at first, but with time they fade and no one knows they are there but you. Plus your growing a baby in there and a healthy baby tests the limits of any body type. Consider those stretch marks a badge of honor. A good lotion that you like can help with the itchiness. There are stretch marks creams, but I think those are mostly cocoa butter and vitamin e.
As a plus size mom, I was able to get by with buying pants and other clothes two sizes bigger than I normally wear and that worked for most of my pregnancy.
Hi! I have to, unfortunately, echo the bad news that stretch marks are genetic/hereditary and tied to the inherent elasticity of your skin (or lack thereof). However, I recommend a cocoa butter cream to help prevent the awful itching that can happen, especially toward the end of the pregnancy.
As for the in-between “I feel fat” stage of pregnancy, I highly recommend the Bella Band product. It stretches over your waistband, so it either smooths out unbuttoned/unzipped pants, or it takes up the slack in too-big maternity pants. It just looks like you’re wearing a layered shirt if your regular shirt doesn’t cover it up. Very helpful, and I hear they’re great for post-partum clothing woes as well. Best of luck with the pregnancy!
For that pre-maternity clothes period (and I recommend that this period be as long as possible, as you will be very sick of them by the time (some weeks after baby is born) you can leave them behind):
Get a rubber band to stretch between the button and buttonhole of your jeans and wear a top over your improvisation. With maternity-like tops being quite the style these days, you’ll do great!
For the clothing part of your question: I went to target and bought their maternity line, “Liz Lange” which was quite styley and nice. You may want to buy some non-maternity dark skirts with elasticized waists to wear with your regular shirts while the bump is still mid-sized. And drawstring pants are good too, the flowey kind are esp. good. It’s an awkward in-between time, but it doesn’t last for too long….
As for the stretch marks, I agree w/Madgebaby and EmJay, that if your skin is prone to stretch marks, you’ll just get them. They fade a tad over time. I like to think of them as “TIGER STRIPES” though!
Good luck!
Hi everyone:
For both stretch marks and surgical scars, I recommend Nature’s Gate Vitamin E roll-on. It doesn’t make them vanish entirely, but in my experience it does help reduce their appearance. And the roll-on beats opening little gelcaps with a pin (but you could also do that if you had some on-hand).
In addition to the rubber band trick, look for a bella band – I ordered mine from Amazon. They are a stretchy band of super-comfortable knit fabric that goes over the waistband of your pants, allowing you to hold them up without fastening them. If your belly is supersensitive to touch, like mine was, they are quite comfortable. You can wear it more casually, showing, and get the look of a layered t-shirt, or you can hide it under a longer top for a more professional look.
Also, you didn’t ask this, but if you need a suit for during your pregnancy – look into renting one – there are several companies that do this on-line. A good maternity suit is expensive, and you will only wear it a few months – so there are businesses that will rent them to you. Also for formal wear – if you need that.
Also, I would recommend that you take time now to think about your boundaries with your congregation. Make sure maternity leave policies are clear and WRITTEN DOWN and APPROVED by the appropriate board (this is a hot button for me) and think about how you will maintain the privacy you need to bond with your baby (ie. no visitors for a week (or longer) after birth, not having your name in the hospital directory if having a hospital birth so well-meaning congregants can’t track you down when you want to be left alone to rest and bond, requesting that EVERYONE call to schedule a time to visit you and the baby – even those folks who think they are exempt from things like this because you are “so close.”) If you plan to go back to ministry, my recommendation is to take as much maternity leave as possible. Six weeks is a minimum – I was able to take 3 months – half un-paid – and needed every minute of it. Ministry is exhausting, and motherhood with a newborn is exhausting – add the two together and you have a recipe for burn-out – and then you are no good for anyone. I will now step off this soapbox and say congratulations! Motherhood is wonderful – and it is really neat to watch your kids grow up loved by a congregation.
I found that I LIKED getting into maternity clothes early on. I was just more comfortable. I did find that I needed different styles and sizes as pregnancy moves into later stages.
One other thing to think about — those maternity tops can be great for breastfeeding later. They are big enough to go over the kid’s head in public!
also, lerner (NY and company) always seems to have wide leg elastic waist pants at all times. They are available in short and tall sizes as well. these got me through month 5.
Congratulations!
As far as maternity clothes are concerned, try on everything you are considering for purchase. Don’t use those silly little belly pillows in the maternity stores either. Your body is unique; you just have to search to see if you need to buy from a maternity store or a larger size of a non-maternity piece of clothing. This period of not quite big enough for maternity clothes will pass (although not as quickly as you may like if it is your first pregnancy).
There is not a whole lot you can do to prevent stretchmarks. Keep a lot of moisturizer handy because you will itch, and it might help to prevent the marks. But there really isn’t any guarantee–it is a lot more about your genetics and your body type. With my first pregnancy, I thought I had made it because I got to 35 weeks with no marks–then the next week, they appeared. With my second pregnancy, they appeared around 32 weeks. I am sitting here with 26 weeks of baby in my womb now, and I expect the marks to come in another couple of weeks.
The good news is that they will fade in time. You may think that your body will never be the same–and you are right to some extent. But you are a mama. You have earned that body. Take some pride in it whether you get stretchmarks or not. Stretchmarks don’t matter a bit when you are handed that tiny baby and you look into his/her eyes. Congratulations–your life has changed forever.
I haven’t been pregnant, but have helped girlfriends who were figure out these very fashion issues!!
Jerry Hall (model) swore by olive oil rubbed on her belly every day. Applied by her husband. Couldn’t hurt.
About the pants issue – the Bella Band (www.ingridandisabel.com – also buyable on Amazon) is wonderful. A wide, wide knit band that slides over the (unfastened) top of your pants & holds everything together. Best of all, it looks like a cute colorful tee peeking out. Nice!
(I made several of these for friends. A sewing machine and half a yard of good soft strong knit and you can make a Bella Band for yourself!)
I’m just back to the church after maternity leave. I agree with the suggestions of drawstring pants. remember that the belly is not the only place you’ll gain weight. It is hard to find good quality without spending a fortune, but it’s worth some effort. I had good luck at Target and at Old Navy (odd, because their regular clothes are a bit iffy). I did not much like motherhood maternity. Low quality and really low cut.
I think I may agree about the weight gain. I gained 62 pounds with my first pregnancy, 58 with my second, and boy do I have stretch marks. Since regaining my pre-pregancy weight around 110 pounds both times.
As for the clothes, I found just buying elastic waist band pants helped out before wearing maternity clothes.
I buy (and wear – I’m 28 weeks pregnant!) both elastic-band maternity pants and the kind with the big round elastic panel. Check to see if either kind has a little hidden adjustable elastic with a button that you can tighten or loosen – that flexibility is very practical.
Also, I did not want to spend a fortune on maternity clothes OR look frumpy, so I VERY carefully planned what to buy and made sure all my pieces mixed and matched, then just wore fun jewelry and scarves I already had. During the week, I alternate between brown corduroys and jeans with a trim red sweatsuit for lounging; kicky black skirt or black/white dress for Sunday. Good luck!
After two kids, and after discussion with many, many moms, I’ve learned the following:
1. Nothing can prevent stretch marks. You’ll either get them or you won’t. My mom didn’t. I did. It’s genetic. I blame my dad.
2. Before you need maternity clothes, wear your regular pants with a rubber band in the buttonhole to extend it. And if that doesn’t work, get the maternity clothes that have the elastic with buttonholes. You’ll love them, especially after the baby comes and you’re not quite in the pre-pregnancy clothes.
3. HOORAY!!!! Enjoy your pregnancy!!! It’s a magical time!
Congratulations, and don’t sweat the stretch marks. They’re badges of honor. And no, the second baby will NOT share the same ones that the first baby made. But when those awesome kids are running around and telling you how pretty you are, you won’t care about the stretch marks at all!
Another option for delaying the switch to maternity pants is this undershirt thing. Here’s a link: http://mightyjunior.com/archives/2008/01/blush-topless-undershirt
It sounds like a (stylish) band of fabric that you wear to bridge the gap between your shirt and pants. I’m too far along in my pregnancy to buy one but if I’d known about these this fall, I would have bought five!
All of the above is great – I’ll add: borrow whatever you can from your sister/girlfriends – it’s the only way to get anyone’s money out of the maternity clothing!!
I read a study years ago which involved a small number of pregnant women who ingested a high doses of Vitamin C. It might have been this: http://www.orthomed.com/klenner.htm
The women supposedly got few if any stretch marks and had big healthy babies. I tried this when I was pregnant, and in fact I got one stretch mark with my first pregnancy and none with my second (I gained about 35 pounds each time). Would I have gotten stretch marks otherwise? Who knows? My mom and sister have quite a few, and I did get them on my hips during puberty. At least it seems pretty harmless.
I forgot about the lerner pants–they were and still are fantastic for this use! And to be so cheap,they wear very well in my experience.
I thought of pregnancy as a second puberty my body changed so much–I went from sort of bottom heavy and flat of chest to a size c cup (that I’ve managed to keep even after losing a ton of weight). You will crave creamed spinach and cashews and fried fish, and your baby must have at least some of what she demands no matter what the books say. Afterwards You will have new little pads of fat you never had before, your boobs will sag and you will probably have a little pouch of tummy (that’s why they make all the great supportive underwear, right?) but your body is doing an amazing thing. Just don’t think about how supermodels do it–what you are doing is natural, what they are doing is, well, not.
Motherhood Maternity has this new style of belly. It works even early on. I think it is called the secret belly?? The belly is SEAMLESS! What is great is they have mix and match suiting and they are affordable. I have several pieces from Motherhood and I love them. Just watchout if you put clothes through washer/dryer there will be a bit of shrinkage, not a lot but if length is an issue beware of the dryer.
Hello and congratulations.
I don’t know about stretch marks–I haven’t had bad ones (i’m 30 weeks along).
I don’t know what the expectations are in your ministry context, but what I did in that yucky in between stage was to buy pair of black stretchy pants (I actually did yoga velour pants, if you can believe it), in a forgiving but non maternity style. I then dressed those up with a pair of dressy black shoes and a sweater long enough to hide the elastic waistband. It actually worked–I got a lot of compliments, too.
Doesn’t work, though, if you need to be wearing a suit every day…
Hello. i know you’ve gotten tons of advice by now, so I’ll try & share something new. Go ahead and buy a couple bottoms in a size bigger with a forgiving waist. After you give birth, you probably won’t still need maternity clothes, but you won’t be in your pre-pregnancy size for a while. These will be helpful for a while.
And, I only gained 28 pounds but got literally 100 giant red stretch marks. The nicest thing my partner has perhaps ever said to me was “they’re not so bad. They’re kind of like racing stripes!”
Good luck to you.
One more thing: I think it is pretty common to get buy with a couple of stretchy, black bottoms (like the chicos stuff or matte jersey or whatever) with an untucked shirt and a regular blazer or cardigan until your top half starts expanding too. Some people can get by with this for a long time.
The trick about black tights and shoe to create an unbroken line really does work, and even if you normally wear longer skirts knee length really is more flattering for the pregnant person (your calves will look trim in comparison with your tummy, believe me!)
If you need clerical shirts made, there is a pattern for a mandarian collar trapeze shirt (with nursing slits and an option for a tie in the back) that I found to be essental. two buttonholes in the collar make it a clergy shirt very easily. Some of the stuff on this website is sort of wild (welcome to the 80’s) , just so you’re warned: elizabethlee.com.
Womenspirit also makes a maternity shirt now.
OH MY GOD, Tony or Greg or what ever his name is just moved in and you’re already knocked-up? Wow you are moving fast! [OH STOP IT, ya big booger. The only baby I want in my life is a yellow lab puppy and you know it, so shaddup, mister! – PB]
Thanks for asking for comments on professional maternity wear. Last week I went from the “fat pants” to needing something to accomodate the growing bump. The maternity clearance rack at the Target down the street saved my canvass Sunday and all the little meetings before and after. It happened so fast, I was buying clothes and wearing them with just the tags cut off. No time to wash!