Dearest pigeons!
J. writes with this blessing/dilemma.
Message: Happy Summer,
I’ve found myself, for the second time now, in my third trimester of pregnancy in the heat of the summer. [Oh my gosh, how did THAT happen? 🙂 – PB] I had my daughter in August a couple of years ago and am now expecting a son in September. Last time around, I was only preaching once in a while, and always behind a pulpit. Now, I am in a church with a much more laid-back summer worship style. This will also be my first summer there. In the past, the pastor has not robed during the summer and preaches from the floor in front of the pews.
This morning, the first Sunday of our “summer worship schedule” I wore a long flowy skirt and a short sleeved, professional looking maternity top. I left the house feeling confident that I was appropriately covered up and classy looking to preach with just a stole and cross necklace. As worship time approached I started feeling very self-conscious about my protruding belly and (frankly, growing breasts) and threw on my robe last minute. I just felt too nervous to go into the service so…exposed, even if I was showing barely any skin, and no cleavage.
I’d like to get over this self-conscious hump, because there is no way that I will continue to be able to wear my robe (for fit reasons and for heat reasons!) as the summer goes on. I’m wondering if you can speak a little bit to my self-consciousness and perhaps make suggestions about dressing for the laid-back summer pulpit– both pregnant and not.
Thanks in advance!
Dear J.,
First of all, congratulations on your healthy, happy pregnancy and new job! That’s a lot going on all at once, so I hope you are connecting with sources of spiritual, emotional and professional support as you navigate all this challenging terrain.
I am thinking of you showing up in your maternity top and flowy skirt to preach in this morning and suddenly getting an attack of insecurity, and I am not surprised. I think any of us can have a sudden sense of vulnerability in a new environment, and pregnancy has to compound that possibility many times over. Honor the wisdom of the body, I always say. Our minds and spirits may be feeling very well adjusted to a new ministry setting, but I think the body has its own version of what’s going on that the mind doesn’t always know or recognize. I believe that our bodies have a deep animal wisdom that manifests in all sorts of interesting ways (anxiety attacks, lack of appetite or insatiable hunger, aches and pains, rashes) by way of getting our mental attention and clueing us in to the truth of a situation or setting. It behooves us to pay close attention and respect what the body is communicating.
An attack of preacherly nerves is a very common way for the body to communicate the stress of feeling suddenly overwhelmed by all the responsibilities of bringing the gospel on any given Sunday morning (nothing unusual). The fact that this particular attack of nerves connected to body insecurity about your pregnant belly seems to me natural and understandable. You are entering a new season of preaching, bringing with it changes in professional practices (no pulpit to protect and shield you, more exposed) and you are entering a new season of pregnancy — the final tri-mester when any woman would understandably be extemely aware of the enormity of what she carries within her. The enormity is both psychic and physical — you have a big baby boy in your belly! He is starting to make himself known as an active being whose demands on you are another level of profound responsibility and another kind of vocation. Perhaps in that moment of standing there in your perfectly fine short-sleeved maternity shirt and cross you were simply overwhelmed by all the demands being made of you as a woman of God — demands of soul, mind, body and spirit. in that moment, your instinct was to cover up. A healthy instinct indeed, as that robe became a garment of comforting refuge and cover in a moment when you felt terribly exposed.
Okay, so that’s fine. But going forward, you know that it’s just too hot to wear a robe for the summer services. Here’s what I would recommend:
First, when you get to church and right before you lead worship, lace your hands over you belly and breathe calmly and deeply. Pray in some way that acknowledges that your son is safe in the womb, that God is with you and holding you both and the Church, and to reassure your protective mama body that all is well: you are in a safe and nurturing environment. Christian mind and animal body need to connect more intentionally.
Second, consider that bare arms are actually much more naked than we think of them being in this day and age when short sleeves are so prevalent. I always feel extremely unprofessional when preaching in short sleeves and I don’t recommend it. There are many gauzy, very light-weight cotton materials that can cover our arms, and I suggest that you design one or two tops that accommodate the baby bulge and your arms, as I suspect all that open air on the skin around baby just felt too exposed for your instinctual comfort level.
I found these shirts from Soft Surroundings and I think they’d work really well as a kind of preaching uniform for the summer, pregnant or not. I don’t know how big or small you are, but these come in plus sizes and I think a quick trip to the tailor to take a tuck in the back would be nice if you wanted to give them a bit of shape. If not, I think they’re very pretty and tailored as is, and come in some lovely colors as well.
And then there are these from Land’s End. Handsome!! And made well, too. The fact that these adjust is great, and the touch of spandex means they’ll keep their hape. Continue reading “On Preaching Pregnant and Body Wisdom”