Beauty Tips for Ministers

Going For “Fun And Hip” In 2008

December 31, 2007 on 7:48 pm | In Clergy Image |

The lovely Rev. Gidget sends this on New Year’s Eve, which PeaceBang is thinking of ringing in very gently — more like a tiny tinkle of a dinner bell than a real ding-dong ringing.

She inquires,

We have sure missed you. I hope you’re feeling rested and peppy again.

Do you have any general guidelines for how to tell if something is “too young” for one to wear? E.g., what’s the difference between fun and hip, and tragically kidding oneself?
Thanks!

Dearest Gidget. I have tried three times to format this bloody response and it keeps getting all glitchy, so let me keep my thanks brief, and say it was good to have a break and someday I’m sure I’ll take another one and I appreciate your support, etc. etc.

I started to answer your question by saying that it was a very good one and difficult to address, because personal style is so … personal! I like to think about certain hip icons like Lauren Hutton, who usually manages to look youthful and cool without looking like she’s trying to relive her high school prom era. A certain rock-and-roll “I’m cool and I don’t need your bougie approval” attitude certainly helps.

If you think of most of the cool middle-aged types you know, it will be immediately obvious that they don’t get that way with short-short skirts, ruffly things, glittery make-up, sheer camisoles or Hello Kitty accessories (although one kick-butt Episcopal priest I know carried a Hello Kitty briefcase with total ironic fashion flair and she got away with it because her clothes are always tailored and elegant, and she’s authentically hip). They have a sense of personal style and a good eye for detail, and they have learned what works for them. Their youthfulness comes from energy, not from shopping at Claire’s Boutique or Forever 21. This is not to say that we shouldn’t shop at those places. We just have to have a very good eye for what’s teenybopper junk and what is, as you say, “fun and hip.”

To avoid looking tragically-kidding-oneself, avoid the fashion mistakes kids often make. They are:
1. Wearing too much make-up and looking clownish.
2. Wearing a permanently self-conscious expression when they’ve changed their hair or clothing style. Be cool. Make changes gradually, as though crafting a work of art, ’cause you are.
3. Buying ill-fitting clothes and then tugging on them throughout the day and night.
4. Not being comfortable in their bodies; bad posture, greasy, unkempt hair, mash-up genres that indicate identity confusion (that’s okay for them — they’re kids. It’s not okay for us).

There’s a whole new world of options out there for the older-than-20-something crowd. Go for it with gusto, especially if you’ve for the figure for it. I love the Anthropologie web site for really hip ideas (wide legged trousers paired with shrunken jackets, full skirts with frilly but classy tops, etc.) Nordstroms.com and other top-end retailers will also give you good ideas without the fantasy element that fashion magazines subject us to (wear this ballgown on this sailboat! Rilly! It will be awesome and glam!). These aren’t clothes we’re going to purchase, this is where we go to get ideas of how we might dress ourselves with a sense of panache and creative style.

There are some fashion trends that I think look wrong on most adult women, and babydoll dresses among the worst recent offenders. I own a few and wear them in the summer because they’re light and comfortable, but they should not make an appearance in any office where a woman wants to be taken seriously. They evoke childhood at worst, and at best they evoke a time when women were expected to be exclusively ornamental or maternal (hence the emphasis on breasts and fecundity, as in “do you think she’s knocked up or is that just the dress she’s wearing?”).

More “youthful” crimes against our fashion dignity:

1. Dresses with pants: strictly for the college crowd. Who thought this up, anyway?
2. Legwarmers: no. Not unless you’re at dance class.
3. Sparkly barrettes and cutesy clips: not a good idea.
4. Braided pigtails: If you’re handing out steaming mugs of Swiss Miss, sure. If not, no.
5. Chopped, too-short bangs: Get out the Rogaine, or see your stylist and have him or her re-do your whole head so that it looks like a chic decision rather than a bad hack job. This goes for men as well as women. And bowl cuts are for toddlers, not adults. Bangs are all the rage right now, but they need to be done right.
6. Skull motif sweatshirts and other goth fashions: Maaaybe, if you pair them with a nice pair of trousers and work in a hip environment. A skull hoodie under a black blazer could look very cool in some settings. Not for the church office, though.
7. Ponytails worn through baseball caps: No, never. Never, ever. Only at the health club.
8. UGGS boots with bare legs and short, flouncy skirts: definitely teenybopper. Avoid if over 18.
9. Flip flops when not at the beach: a sure way to look and sound schleppy, unkempt and unself-respecting.

So start with some funky pieces, adventurers, and go from there. Wear them to non-threatening places like out to dinner with your S.O., and see how you feel. Incorporate your idea of “fun and hip” into your wardrobe one piece at a time, see how much of a kick you get out of your new pieces, and pay attention to how many compliments you get. Don’t worry too much what’s “right.” Like, maybe it’s “wrong” for PeaceBang to have midnight dark blue nails right now. She likes them. They’re short and in style and they work well with her silver jewelry, her winter skin tone and her winter clothes. She is getting a big kick out of them. They are, after all, her hands. You have to know who you are, and have a sense of confidence broadcasting that.

Take some risks! Have some fun! Make it a new year’s resolution!

Kiss of peace, PB

(I think this is a pretty good example of Tragically Kidding Oneself)