This sassy little reader stole my heart right away by saying, “Kudos to you and your fats.” How could I not try to help her? Here is her query:
I am presently a chaplain for a seminary (the non-collar wearing kind even though I am th collar wearing kind of minister!) I will be a volunteer police/fire chaplain very soon and I need some “uniform” advice.
I want to 1. look like a professional(religous) 2. have clothes that I can launder frequently at high temps! 3. I want to appear from an observers vantage point to be “with the police” but not necessarily one of them. I want to be perceived by the police/fire as the real deal without looking like I want to be one of them. I am not opposed to collars but other than that I am lost.
I would look to appear like the female I am but don’t want to look like I want to date. So far I am thinking pressed nice cargo pants in a dark color and a twill shirt or a short sleeved polo. Unfortunately the dept only supplies a twill shirt w/ chaplain emblazened right over, where do you ask…why right over the bosom of course. Ugh! I need help. I know you are not the police fashionista but can you stretch your abilities?
Dear readers, I did, in fact, try to stretch my abilities. Here is my response to HH, the Rockin’ Chaplain ChicK:
VERY challenging, my little pigeon!
Okay, a few thingsFirst, do NOT try to look like one of the police or fire dudes. That won’t work. You’re too young and too female. You’re young, right? If so, you’ll just look like you’re trying to dress up like mommy and daddy if you make yourself a miniature of the guys in the force. I would get a pair of twill pants, a nice belt, round-toed Naot black shoes [the style I’m thinking of is Salvadore], a clergy collar shirt in black and a good two-button blazer. You’re in black, it’s obviously a kind of uniform, you’re not too dressy, you can run if need be, you can get dirty with no big deal, and you can take off the blazer and run around in your shirt if you need to. You wear this every day. You don’t get cutesy with colored shirts and [cuss word] like that. You don’t wear a big ole badge on your bachongas. You wear a clerical collar — ancient, classic, serious. No one will possibly doubt what you’re there for.
You carry a cross-body messenger bag, nothing girly or “pursey.” You do your hair nicely and wear some make-up to look polished, you wear a pair of small silver hoops because you’re a girl. “I don’t want to look like I want to date” is ridiculous. You either flirt and act like you’re sexually available or you don’t, and you should not. I mean, it’s not like you were considering low-cut shirts and high heels, were you? On the other hand, you don’t have to be a stern schoolmarm either. Just be you in your uniform, which should be impeccably clean and pressed at all times. Buy two of everything — I’m serious, you’ll be wearing them EVERY DAY.
What’s your body type? Tell me and I’ll steer you to some good pants options.
Chaplains, let’s hear from you? What’s your advice to our gal? When she says she wants to be able to launder garments frequently in high temps, I’m not sure what that means but certainly Dockers and cotton clergy shirts can stand multiple washings. And no one should be washing clothes at high temps. Maybe she means that she lives in a warm climate. We’ll have to hear from her.
Unless you live in the tropics I’d strongly recommend looking at some of the unnatural fabrics out there. They wear much longer than cotton, and if you’re going for black or other dark colors they stay true to color longer. These are what I wore when I was doing hospital work; they aren’t the most fashionable (they’re better now) but they can be machine washed and hung to dry and look nice without a lot of fuss.
If you decide to wear the uniform, Womenspirit makes a “janie” to go underneath. Either way, wearing a collar and a black shirt is a clear sign to everyone (particularly people too upset to read the sign on your booby ;)) about why you’re there.
One more thing: reserve a couple of pairs of very practical shoes for work only and don’t wear them in your house.
One more thing: don’t neglect your appearance for all the reasons PB suggested, but also because it is very comforting and hopeful to people who are in shock or grief to be with someone calm enough to care about their appearance. It’s a way to manifest the non anxious presence thing in my opinion. Do put your hair up, though, if it is long at all.
Does she live in an area with lots of ticks? That’s the only reason I know of to launder clothing at high temperatures.
If the department has a uniform for a chaplain, shouldn’t she be wearing that instead of someone else’s idea of what a chaplain or minister should wear (even if that idea is a black clergy shirt and blazer, which I agree would be right if there were not an official uniform shirt already). [Pumpkin, I assume that since she wrote to me for advice about what to wear that there is no uniform for the chaplain. Give us some cred here, man. – PB]
Perhaps she can talk to the department and get them to embroider “Chaplain” slightly higher, so as not to be right on the bosoms. [I think a collar would be far better. Why point out that you have bosoms when you don’t have to? A gal doesn’t want to start her totally male-dominated job making requests about accommodating her breasts — especially since I’m certain the answer would be, “You gotta be kidding me, lady.”]
-m
PB-
No disrespect intended–but the poster did say:
“Unfortunately the dept only supplies a twill shirt w/ chaplain emblazened right over, where do you ask”
If the department supplies a shirt for chaplains, don’t you think they expect their chaplains to wear them?
-m
[Darling one, it is PB’s policy to advise clergy persons and seminarians to NEVER wear garments that don’t fit them properly. And in this case, I don’t see a big possibility that the dept. is going to move that CHAPLAIN embroidery so it’s not sitting directly upon Heather’s bazoom. When it comes to attire, we should never cave to authority for any reason. If it doesn’t fit, don’t wear it.]
I have served as a police chaplain as well- this is what I ended up doing: I was supplied a uniform shirt (with my chaplain patches). I wore that, with my bulletproof vest underneath, and a Janie over the vest. Women’s Spirit makes the Janie.
Check with your department about a vest- it took 3 years, but my department got me one after many other departments put their chaplains in them. in a scary situation, no one is going to read your title, so you want to be protected just in case. Fr. Micheal Judge was not the only reason why there is now an act that pays benefits to deceased chaplains (though he is the best known, and certainly is beloved by the FDNY).
I totally second the person who said put your hair up. Put your freakin’ hair up. Hair down looks unprofessional and way too laid back. If you want your officers to take you seriously, show them you are a serious person. I always braided mine in a tucked french braid (I have lots of long hair), but my female officers often did buns or ponytails.
You will also want ‘police’ boots or shoes, and the dark, sturdy pants. If your post is anything like mine, especially when responding to accident sites or to some of the skanky places you will see, you WANT the toughest, sturdiest shoes you can get. I got mine from Galls.
A sturdy leather belt might not hurt. Do you have to carry protective gear at all? (Reflective vest, whistle, chaplain stole, gloves?)
At risk of sounding too tough, (I HAVE been a police chaplain for almost 5 years now for various departments), you want to make yourself blend in so you are as inconspicous as possible, and as professional as possible. You want your officers to be noticed first all the time, since they are the ones trained to be on the front line. You will learn how to hang back until you are needed and invited in to a situation. You also want to keep yourself well contained- you do NOT want a bag, any books (no bibles or anything!), or loose clothing while on a call. I usually had a bag with me in the vehicle, but once I was out, everything was attached to my person.
It’s GREAT fun, but this is very worth having a serious meeting with your department’s chief about, in order to clarify exactly what you will be doing. Also, proactivity is the only way you’ll get anything done!
I’ll stop here, but I am very glad to go on, if anyone needs any more from a girl who serves the people in blue! Who do you think nicknamed me “Rev Bee” any way? (My cops!)
Rev. Bee
A few more things: Sorry, PB, I love you much, but I have to disagree with you vehemently [Honey, you GO AHEAD! You’re in the biz, you know what yer talkin’ about!! – PB]
She may HAVE to wear the badge. My department’s policy was idenitifcation clearly displayed at all times. I have a badge wallet on a chain (like the detectives have- one got it for me for a police funeral). It’s not my choice, it’s the policy. It says CHAPLAIN.
NO BLAZERS!! Even my detectives saved the blazers for court.
NO TWILLS!! You’ll never get the grass stains, dirt, or blood out of them. Besides, they wrinkle. Trust me- invest in “uniform” type pants. They make ones that look like normal pants, but wash easily and the press marks are sewn in.
NO HOOP EARRINGS!! NEVER! Dangerous. Go with tiny studs, and studs only.
Leave the bag in the police car or the ambulance, never carry it outside with you.
I know this sounds hard-core, but I have been pressed into action directing traffic at accidents, talking to victims in really seedy locations, walking through all sorts of horrible weather with my officers at all hours of the day and night, and that’s not even counting special duty things like Fourth of July or bike duty (SUPER fun!). FOr me, looks go out the window in favor of protecting stuff.
Let me know if you want me to send a few pictures- I have me in ‘uniform’ and me in ‘special duty’. And a GREAT one of me with two chaplains whose department puts them in full police uniform with only patches differentiating them.
I just want to weigh in on the comfort factor that magdebaby brought up. I always notice how nicely made up the dental hygenist is. Low key, but flawless, with just the right amount of foundation and eye makeup. And we are face to face CLOSE UP. Going to the dentist is probably less stressful than whatever might cause a police chaplain to appear in one’s face, but it’s the same kind of thing. Hear, hear magdebaby!
Washing in high temps is probably because she will be around smoke. The smoke smell is VERY difficult to get out of fabric, and some synthetics seem to hold on to it worse than natural fabrics.
And PB, I hate to point it out, but this “You’re young, right? If so, you’ll just look like you’re trying to dress up like mommy and daddy if you make yourself a miniature of the guys in the force. ” is condescending and a little sexist. [As it turns out, the writer is older than me! And that’s not condescending and sexist — it’s based on my observation of petite young thang chaplains in uniforms that were too big for them, which they wore as though they were in costume, and that made them look EXACTLY like they were playing dress up.] There are young female firefighters and police officers out there. The reason you don’t want to look just like them is that you don’t want to be confused with someone who is credentialled to do things you’re not. But you do still want people to be able to see that you’re with the department, because you need people to know that you do belong there. In the confusion of an emergency, quick visual identification of who belongs there and who doesn’t is very important.
Now, I think PB’s suggestions are right on — I was delighted! But I do not have experience in the field, so I can’t say for sure about the requisite shirt, etc. I think the collar is a good idea, in any event. Almy also sells “dickies/janies,” and are less over-priced than Womenspirit. Finding an able seamstress may be the ideal solution, but I wouldn’t know. I’m still searching, due to the many alterations my plump, short body requires (sleeves, shoulders, length, etc.).
I was recently a chaplain at a trauma one hospital (it was just like the show ER). At this position I was not allowed to wear a clerical collar so that I could be approachable to people of all walks of faith so I am wondering if Chaplain Chick is working under similar constraints. One way she be identified as a chaplain is to wear a large armband with Chaplain in big letters on her upper arm. Or she could wear a shirt with Chaplain embroidered on her back. Hope this helps.
Enjoyed the comments. Know where I can get some premuim quality clergy shirts, chaplain supplies, chaplain ID stuff? Thanks.
Padré Lorne
I have been a chaplain for 2 1/2 years. Recently, I was able to have the department issue the chaplains polo shirts that are nice, comfortable and different color from what the police wear. It is a light gray color, CHAPLAIN is written on the back, and the front has embroidered the police agency and chaplain. The emboidery is small but not too small just above that questionable area.
I wear the uniform pants, common leather belt, and small flashlite on the belt. If I wear earings, they are very small. I don’t wear anything flashy to cause attention to myself. I wear the Nike black walkers that seem to be sturdy. I almost look like an officer, but I don’t wear a badge, even though I have one. I definately do not want anyone to think that I am an officer, only the chaplain, which are written in huge letters on the back side of my shirt. I have worn brass crosses on my shirt collars at times. I don’t like the priestly look, too religious. Officers open up with me when they realize I am a human being just like them. I don’t want them to think I am above them or they are above me. It is mutual respect and we each have our purpose.
As far as makeup – I always wear makeup to look professional, and friendly, not exactly to look attractive, but pleasant. My appearance is important, that I am an Ambassador of God for the sake of these officers.