To our Jewish readers, Good Yom Tov!! May you be written in the Book of Life for the new year!
And now, to our most recent call for help from a colleague who is With Child and seeks advice on maternity-wear. She writes,
I have just discovered that I am pregnant. This time around, I am working in a church for the first time. I do wear a robe on Sunday, but I am wondering if you can do a post about do’s and don’ts of the maternity clothes wearing pastor. I have a few months before I am wearing maternity clothes, but I am saving my money for them and pondering what I will need in a professional setting.
First of all, A., mazel tov and congratulations! I hope that the PeaceBang community will come through for you with loads of unsolicited advice on everything from how to avoid unauthorized belly-petting to juggling the demands of motherhood and parish ministry.
But for now, ze clothings, we shall discuss.
PeaceBang has never been pregnant, doesn’t plan to ever become pregnant, and has no personal experience with the issue of maternity clothing. She has noticed, however, that maternity wear is downright hip and sexy these days — in fact, maybe a little too sexy for the clergy gal. For instance, PeaceBang has noticed that a lot of maternity tops are very low-cut in the cleavage area, leading to potential Festivals of Inappropriate Sharing.
So she recommends that you find a maker of classic and affordable maternity clothing that isn’t cut to make you look like Mother Goddess of the Bazooms but that doesn’t aim to hide the fact that you’re pregnant, either. What do women in the corporate world wear when they’re sporting a baby bump? I squint my eyes trying to conjure up an example and can’t come up with one, since all the mamas I know have the kind of job where casual, unstructured clothing are the daily norm.
A., my dove, I think you need to hear from Rev. Mothers on this one. My only thoughts are that you wear comfortable shoes, don’t feel that it’s necessary to purchase a whole pregnancy wardrobe if you can get by with a few classic pieces (the idea is that you wear them so much that by the time the baby is born you are HAPPY to get rid of them forever!), and just be sure to take good care of yourself as you both minister to your people and grow this baby.
We’re thrilled for you, and now… the comments are open!
congrats!
I second PB’s advice about cleavage and add that I’ve noticed that maternity clothing is also too tight and short across the Tummy for professional appropriateness these days, too. We’re happy for you but we don’t actually want to see your belly button pop out!
A couple of classic skirts and pants, a few more tops. Adjustable is good…you’ll wear them for a month or so after the birth and need to be able to scale them down again.
Blessings!!!
One piece of advice I’ve seen again and again on the topic is to wear jackets… just leave them open. This means you can wear your old size for a while and still have some structure.
I second the “professionally appropriate shirt length” comment. 🙂
Having been pregnant 4 times in the last decade, and being either a business professional or doing lay pulpit-supply, I have a bit of experience with this.
#1: Friends. Any friends who offer you maternity clothes, say yes. If there are some awful pieces, just quietly put those away in a box. But hopefully you’ll get a few good pieces.
#2: Ebay. Not for cost purposes as much as the chance to get older maternity fashions. Like I said, my maternity-wearing years spanned a decade. The stuff back in the late 90s was much better than the recent offerings. (What, only 95 lb teenagers are getting pregnant now? That’s what the fashion world seems to think!) Many people sell their clothes as a “Lot,” meaning you’ll be getting many different pieces. Some will be great, some horrible. Still cheaper than buying new.
#3: J.C. Penney, at least 2 years ago, has a very good maternity section.
#4 The maternity store in the mall is overpriced AND you can’t return anything! I mean, the very next day, you still can’t return it.
#5 There are many stores that you wouldn’t think of having maternity clothes that will, and it’ll be professional looking. Like Burlington Coat Factory. So check everywhere.
#6 If I were trying to get by on the least amount possible: 1 pair of navy maternity slacks (or skirt), 1 pair of black slacks or skirt. White blouse. And get a maternity blouse, not the old advice about “wear your husband’s shirt.” It will look like your husband’s shirt, too. Have fun with scarves to accessorize.
Avoid:
-Polka dots
-Horizontal stripes, not matter how cute they look
-Things that look babyish — you’re HAVING a baby, not becoming a baby
-Jumpers. I know they’re cute. But TRUST ME … you will look like one of those punching bag clown toys. You want to NOT have an unbroken line. Break the line! Break the line! Show that the bulk is at your waist, and underneath that huge belly, you have normal sized legs.
Ann Taylor Loft now has maternity, although the selection is limited. The necklines seem mighty appropriate.
Some thoughts from a currently preggy pastor.
–Don’t buy anything too soon, even though if you are excited. Don’t wear maternity clothes before you announce your pregnancy to the congregation.
–You need a great pair of black pants. They must be comfortable. You will wear them and wear them and wear them.
–WomenSpirit has maternity clerical shirts, if you need one of those.
–I agree with PeaceBang. Many maternity shirts today are very low cut. (And just because I suddenly have breasts doesn’t mean that I want to share them with the congregation). Hence, the recommendation for AT Loft.
Congratulations and good luck finding appropriate work wear.
I found a black maternity suit on sale and that proved invaluable. The jacket stretched and stretched and stretched!
I wore a lot of sweaters/jackets because as a previous commenter indicated, I could leave them open, and in some cases I could get by with a shell or a nicer t-shirt under them. Nice pants were key — I was pregnant over the winter and realized that with skirts I needed nylons or tights, which is an interesting adventure when pregnant.
If you are of a tradition where wearing a clergy shirt is part of the gig (as I am), the pickings are slim. Womenspirit is the only company that makes a maternity clergy shirt. I had three custom made, and while it wasn’t necessarily cheaper, I at least had some options! If I were to do that part over again, I’d probably just buy one of theirs and wash it a lot.
Are there other clergy women in your area who could share their more professional maternity wear with you? Much of my swapped clothing came from family members with less office-oriented wardrobes. Target and Old Navy both have some reasonably priced somewhat professional maternity lines.
Oh, and one more thing — I had at least one outfit that I bought myself, and that I really, really liked. I thought it looked good and I often wore it on days when I knew I was feeling lumpy or particularly unprofessional but still had to appear — at least on the outside I looked put together!
Best wishes!
Ah, yes. I’m 6 months pregnant and echo the complaint that maternity stores seem to think I would like to be as sexy as humanly possible. Since I started out rather well-endowed, and have only become more so, I spend a lot of time safety-pinning or sewing my maternity shirts so that they close higher than they are supposed to. This actually works pretty well.
I haven’t been working full-time, just doing weddings and preaching, so I’ve been able to get away with a more casual maternity wardrobe. However, I see the MFC (for non UUs: that’s our committee that decides if ministerial candidates can get fellowship and then go on to be ministers) in two weeks and so I am busily trying to get together one REALLY GREAT outfit for that. Sadly, I haven’t had a lot of luck, so I’m going for entirely appropriate and not very inspiring. I’ll just have to wear my inspiration on my happy, glowing face, I guess.
Finally, remember that your feet will grow! So budget in the possibility of needing to buy a new pair of pumps/dressy flats at some point. Other than that, enjoy how long your nails will suddenly be and your nice, thick hair. Not to mention–you’re carrying inside you a new life! Which, when you stop to think about it, pretty much rocks. 🙂
I’m not clergy, but I am pregnant. You can rent nice maternity suits. I don’t know the websites off hand but if you need something like that you could do a search. Target has ok dressy stuff. Sometimes you can luck out with Old Navy or the Gap but other times its only teen stuff. I just went to Old Navy a few weeks ago because they are the only local place with maternity in XS sizes. It turns out that their stuff is currently being made to fit so tight that I would have needed a large to make it through the pregnancy. Ironically, the regular clothes were cut really large so I went over to the regular section and bought two items in my regular size, one item a couple sizes bigger, and only one thing from the maternity section. Don’t discount sizing up. It does often work. Many things with an elastic waist band can be worn below the belly as long as there is a little room for hip growth. A lot of places are carrying basic t-shirts that would be ok under a jacket with longer torsos than they used to so you may be able to get away those shirts for longer and continue using them after the pregnancy. I second what someone else said about the mall maternity stores. Their stuff is horribly made and they won’t take it back no matter what. And if you fall outside the average size range, you won’t fit into anything.
Been there, done that. . . .
Not only is the sexy maternity stuff tacky, it is a very poor investment (at least for those of us who stop looking “cute” about eight weeks in). I had these lovely gap jeans that looked so cute–for three weeks. JC penney is a great source for work and casual clothes, and has petites. Go for the full round waistband or the full tummy panel unless you are one of those people who have a really hard time keeping weight on (you know who you are 😉
I had some clergy shirts made from a design I got from a website, Elizabethlee.com. She has a banded collar button up shirt that accomodates nursing (a lot of her stuff is very dated, but this one pattern and several others were cool), and they actually sell clips in maternity stores and perhaps elsewhere that can gather up the back if you need it. They were huge, but that was a good thing for a couple of reasons: They fit throughout my pregnancy and were handy postpartum (you think you will fit back into stuff, but you won’t, so get over some of that concern asap and buy a few things along that are adaptable postpartum for a while.)
I opted to have shirts made in several muted colors and wear basic black slim pants and skirts underneath. Normally I don’t really like clergy shirts in colors other than black, but this was more practical. I also had a black suit (blazer, skirt and pants) made from a lovely vogue maternity pattern in a black crepe. I wore that with a Janie from womenspirit everywhere.
Chicos travelers collection is great early on and postpartum. Their clothes are light, opaque, cover milk and every other sort of stain, don’t cling and wear like iron.
I was ginormous and I found Almy’s a line “contemporary” alb fit me nicely throughout, FYI.
I reiterate the suggestion to budget in new shoes. I got a pair of low heels, in a size wider and larger than I normally wear, and they were a godsend. I also got a pair of what they called “maternity inserts” for them (in the wierd old man foot section of your local drugstore) and they actually helped a lot, as did semi opaque maternity support hose. Getting through a service can be hard on the legs. Be sure to pee as close to the beginning as you can, as another aside.
Finally, relish in your fecundity, take time to eat and relax and drink lots of water, read more about the actual baby that will live with you than about pregnancy, which will end pretty dang soon, and whatever you don DON”T CUT YOUR HAIR SHORTER NO MATTER HOW BADLY YOU WANT TO. I’ve done it, I know many who have, and trust me, you will regret it.
Blessings!
I forgot to say that I heard this from a friend: you may have some incontinence as your pregnancy progresses. If you do, Depends can be your friend, or just a really thick maxi pad. You can wear them in church and on really long car rides just in case. I know, this isn’t glamorous. But hey, we’re lucky we don’t have to wear petticoats and corsets, right?
😉
I’d just emphasize the wearing pants when possible instead of skirts, because of the additional cost and discomfort of maternity panty hose, that is unless you have to wear support hose anyway as I did. Great advice already offered about what people will loan you. Women are very happy to pass along their maternity clothes — there is morning sickness and there is “I never want to see that top again” sickness. Anything you can wear afterward that opens up for nursing is better than something you cannot. Maternity usually has at least four phases that require somewhat different clothing — early, middle, late, and post partum. So get stuff as you go along.
Today I visited the library for some graduate research.. to find out they’re doing extensive renovations and almost all the books were packed away.
Among the remaining offerings (besides adult softcover fiction and magazines)…I found a copy of “What You Wear Can Change Your Life” by the British WNTW ladies…. their maternity section was impressive!
I was really surprised at how large the section was, how many pictures they had, and how they showed outfits that flattered different BODY TYPES even in pregnancy.
Worth a look if your library has it, anyway.
Ditto on the “What You Wear Can Change Your Life” maternity section; comfortable (larger) shoes; pants are better than skirts; and doing whatever you can to accommodate an increasingly high-maintenance bladder.
TMI alert: I was shocked by the fact that my breasts stopped acting like decorative objects and started expanding and eventually leaking (!) BEFORE the baby arrived. Get two good bras, one to wear, one to wash. Not flimsy, cute bras, but bras with support and padding to provide coverage in case your mammary glands decide to practice prior to the big event. Think Soviet design standards.
Moo.
I’ve been through two pregnancies and I use to sell maternity clothes. I’m not sure if this company is still around, but the Go-Pants in the 90’s were a great buy for pregnant women. They came in different colors and had a comfortable waist band.
Spend money on a good prenatal bra and get fitted for one at a maternity store. You’ll need two bras, one prenatal and if you’re planning to nurse, a nursing bra. Rule of thumb when buying a prenatal bra, go up one cup and waist size. When buying a nursing bra, go down to your normal waist size, but go up one more size in the cup. And get fitted by a professional. I cannot stress that enough. It’s not only about style, but comfort. Those girls get awfully heavy.
Congratulations
Andrea
Congratulations!
I got my best maternity preaching clothes at a maternity resale shop in a metropolitan area. (We live in the sticks, but were visiting my folks in the Detroit area.) There were better options in a city where professional women dress up to go to work than where I live, where “dress up” means “don’t wear hiking boots.” I got a dress, a slip (invaluable), and trousers. Combined with blouses from JC Penney, I preached in that jumper-style dress Sunday after Sunday. Another good item was a boiled wool blazer from Lands’ End, which dressed up weekday outfits.
I found that regular Old Navy tights (cheap!) in big sizes worked better than maternity tights, which actually were more useful postpartum.
My final bit of advice: slip on shoes for the end of the pregnancy. I had to tie my shoes in stages at the very end because I couldn’t breathe while bent over, even sitting down.
I am not a minister, but a christian educator.
My two maternity pearls of wisdom (having had 2 babies in the past 4 years.
1) buy some old navy or other tanks with the built in bra. I still wear them because they don’t hug your belly! They are great for under the too sexy dresses or tops(I was almost brought to tears two years ago the week before Easter as I searched in vain for a dress to wear for my Easter children’s message that didn’t show too much!)
2) Maternity twinsets were a key wardrobe item for me (and as an aside, were much easier for nursing than the traditional nursing clothes. that said, be sure to check out motherwear.com for some nursing options–they have a bit of maternity as well)
FYI–Ann Taylor Loft launched a maternity line recently–I have no experience with it, but it might be worth a try!
This is very exciting news about Ann Taylor loft!
I must say, the maternity shirts at Womenspirit are horrible, particularly for young clergy–very frumpy indeed.
Context: I’m not a preaching pastor, but part of the staff at a medium/large church. I work with a lot of artistic types, and get to dress fairly casually, but I know I’m in the ‘public eye’. Also, I’m plus-sized.
I say: stay away from maternity clothes as much as possible! For the most part, they’re poorly made, a terrible value for money, and, um..not attractive. Depending on your shape (and how much it changes as the months wear on) you may be able to stick with mostly ‘regular’ clothes.
I bought barely a handful of maternity clothes – blouses, mostly – but I did add elastic and a rectangular knit panel (NOT a ‘maternity panel’ from the notions department, but a double-thickness of heavy t-shirt fabric) to a couple of my favorite pairs of pants. It was really good for me to be able to wear my own clothes; so much is changing at once, it’s nice to be able to look and feel like yourself.
I echo the commenters who recommended:
jackets (and cardigans)
tanks to preserve modesty
and especially the ones who talked about bras. I got a couple of (supportive and seemingly enormous) nursing bras at about a month before my due date, and started wearing them about a couple weeks before Ian arrived. (When I could no longer kid myself about fitting into my regular bras.)
The other thing I learned: The clothes sold at Mimi Maternity (slightly pricy mall store), Motherhood (discount mall store) and Sears (cheaper yet!) are all made by the same people. For basics, expensive has no advantage.