Eat Real Food!!

Happy Beautiful Autumn Day, Pumpkins!!

PeaceBang joined Weight Watchers again a week or so ago and seems to have taken up Competitive Eating as a result. After a week of molto mangia and feeling absolutely Ernest Borgninian about it, I have come to the conclusion that eating fake, low-fat versions of any food is the worst possible thing for managing hunger and health, and what’s more, I should have known this!! In fact, I DID know it! I DO know it! So what was my stupid, eh?

That, I don’t know.

So no more Lean Cuisines for PeaceBang. No more little snack cups of pudding, no more crappy fake bread, no more air-puffed crappy bagels. No more insta-oatmeal, no more Oscar Meyer anything. It all makes me feel terrible and starved and beastly. It makes me pale and puffy and miserable and itching for a binge. I’m a foodie, for the love of Alice Waters!! How did Lean Cusine find its way into my Stop & Shop cart? I musta been delusional with the fever or something.

I know you know this, but let’s remember it together: whole food is good food. Whole grains, humanely farmed lean meats (if you’re a carnivore, and I still am), veggies veggies veggies, legumes, nourishing food, not processed garbage that will leave your rummaging wild-eyed and ravenous through the fridge at midnight.

Although I really like the Weight Watchers emphasis on the sane basics of portion control, keeping track of what you eat, and exercising more, I don’t like their emphasis on “fast” food — eg, throwing a jar of salsa or prepared salad dressing on a chicken breast to give it taste, or using their WW products (but of course they’ve got to pimp their stuff, and I understand that).

I need to eat more if I want to lose weight. More of the right things. I once knew this!

Isn’t it crazy how easily we forget the facts and decide to try something we know won’t work?

By the way, I have ordered David Kessler’s book, The End of Overeating, from the library and I know I’m going to find it fascinating and relevant.

Love, PB (feeling less like Ernest Borgnine every minute — but look how cute he is here!)

Ernest Borgnine

Keeping At It

Such a bizzy bizzy little ole month, October is!

But PeaceBang loves it. She’s doing all the things she loves most to do and is roaring on all six cylinders. No blues to be singing, no time to get lost in dangerous neighborhoods of my mind, no flopsy-mopsy days where I just can’t get going. I HAVE to get going. Since my calendar is so packed, I know I need to stay focused, to be a super-wise stewardess of my time (just call me a “Time Stewardess” and put me in a 1970’s polyester uniform, go ahead!), and refuse to allow defeatist attitudes, people or actions to mess with me. I wish I could bring some of my October spirit to July (my mopiest month)!

I’ve rejoined Weight Watchers, which is always, um, SO fascinating. Sometimes I’ll be driving along all sane and quite happy and this voice will come from out of nowhere and scream, “GET ME SOME FRIED CHICKEN WINGS!! NOWWWWW!!!”
And I’ll be like, “Wow! Where did THAT come from? You know we are not getting fried chicken wings. We are having some soup and half a sandwich for lunch. So stop that.”
And the voice will say, “CHICKEN WINGS NOW, BETCH, OR I WILL HURT YOU!”
Then I have to be really stern and say, “Don’t make me stop this car.”
The voice roars, “GREAT IDEA!!!STOP THE CAR AND PICK UP SOME WINGS!!!!”
And I say, “I am in charge and I am ignoring you.”
I turn on the radio.

This voice also comes up when I want to relax in the evening. “OH GOOD. WE GET TO HAVE A BIG BAG OF SOMETHING CRUNCHY NOW. OR A HUGE TUB OF POPCORN.”
“No, we actually don’t,” I say. “We’re not even hungry and watching television or reading does not mean snacking. Get over that.”
“POPCORN!! BUTTER!” it roars.

So this is challenging.

Meanwhile, it’s all a process — and a slow one at that — and I take it one day at a time with realistic expectations. I have no particular weight loss goal because that has never worked for me. I just want to stop being a compulsive overeater.

While I am patiently waiting to fit into more of my favorite clothes, I am adding bits of shine and sparkle to the ones I do fit into to remind myself that I am the light of the world. Jesus said so.

These photos are truly atrocious, I know, but I like to provide visuals on this blog so here I am:

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Rhinestone pin with brown pin-stripe blazer (I wrap a beautiful Turkish blue cashmere/pashmina scarf around my neck which is real pritty — I don’t like a lot of neck showing with blazers).

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Hammered silver necklace with white blouse and black cardigan.

We Most of Us Did the Same

Don’t fret if you stuffed yourself far too full on Thanksgiving Day, my pets.

Many of us did the same.

And today is another day.

Just maybe try to go easy on the leftovers. I say this with no real conviction that I’ll be able to do that myself, but hope springs eternal and life goes on… even if your jeans are feeling pretty tight.

I hope you had a lovely holiday.

Do You Say Something? PASTORAL HAIR INTERVENTION

An S.O.S. from a concerned layperson, ya’ll! Just came in today!

Message: I am a member of a large UU congregation and also partner ofa minister (at another church — obviously). Being a minister’s partner gives me a bit of an unusual view into a church, and I realize that minister’s don’t always know how they are perceived…… which leads to my question:

I adore the minister at our church, but her hair is AWFUL. Color, cut, etc. This past Sunday, it looked as if she cut her bangs herself (badly), and her hair was pulled back, but then sticking out at all sorts of weird angles all over her head. I had four different people come up to me after the service and say “Oh, my — what do you think of XXX’s hair?!?!”

I am not a huge fashion critic, or even overly image-conscious. BUT, when the minister’s appearance is distracting to the congregation, do you bring it up? And how do you do that without hurting feelings? (She is a fabulous minister and everyon adores her.) If it were me, I would want to know. I asked my partner, and she said she would want to know also.

Help?? Advice???

— Concerned Member of the Congregation (and Big Fan of this minister)

Dear CMOTC(ABFOTM)
Say something! And don’t be subtle. Ministers don’t get subtle. If you say, “Gee, Adored Minister, are you growing out your hair? I hate that awkward stage between lengths,” she will find your query strange but probably think nothing of it. If you say, “You know, I just happened to buy this glossy magazine of hair styles and I thought I’d donate it to the church — specifically to YOU,” that would be better, but she might just thank you and think you’re a dear and slightly demented person. But if you make an appointment to talk to her, bring her a big bouquet of flowers, sit down and say, “Rev., this is your lucky day! I have come here with what I bet is the simplest problem any congregant has ever brought to you in counseling. My problem is that my adored minister has a really bad hair ‘do … so bad that four or five people commented on it to me after church recently, and I don’t know what to do about it.” Then smile, and say “In the spirit of ‘please don’t shoot the messenger, these flowers are a reminder of my regard for you no matter what your hair looks like, but I just thought you’d want to know. Because if I was in your shoes, I would. And I have such respect for your work, it hurts me when the first thing people have to say following a service is about your hair and not your gifts of ministry.”

Then put the flowers on her desk, say, “I really am a huge fan,” and beat it the hell out of there.

(Of course you do realize that people mentioned it to you knowing that, as a Clergy Partner, you’d say something?)

If someone else wants to be a Good Fairy and drop your minister a list of names of good stylists in the area and a gift certficate to a salon, that’s their business. You don’t want Pastor Wackyhair to feel ganged up on (how humiliating!) but you want her to feel the way I felt when the president of my Board of Trustees sneaked up to me right before I left for a Mexico vacation, slipped a tidy roll of 10’s and 20’s into my shocked hand and said, “I took up a little margarita collection for you. We want you to have a wonderful vacation and RELAX.” He scrammed before I could (a) feel embarrassed or (b) find the words to thank him. I used that gift as a food and drinks fund and every time I paid my tab I felt the love of my congregation with me. You want your Rev. to feel the same way about her hair. Yes, it’s her personal bizness and she doesn’t need your help with it, she deserves help with it. Know what I mean?

Food For Thought: Forgiving Our Own Trespasses

Sweetlings,

Let me depart from the world of crazy celebrity/royal fashion and eye cream recommendations for a moment to talk about self-care a bit.

I was talking with a newbie minister the other day who was being very hard on herself for “breaking the covenant” she had made with God to be healthy and especially to refrain from compulsive overeating.

As you know, PeaceBang knows PUH-LENTY about compulsive overeating, and about the struggles to keep from comforting oneself with an overly-full tummy.

This new pastor had had some particularly tough losses in the past months and was experiencing for the first time ministering when you’re feeling fragile and pulled in seventeen different directions, trying to meet too many people’s needs. She ate over it. Lots of sugar. And not only did she physically feel lousy, she felt like a sinner. We mulled over her decision to use the word “sin” to describe her overeating. Yes, technically it is a sin to do harm, even to oneself. But is that language helpful or harmful in this situation? She had chosen it intentionally because she wanted to think about her binge theologically. Which is a good place to start. What we do with our bodies is most certainly about our relationship to God and our understanding and experience of God’s presence or absence in our lives. We are all broken; we are all sinners. When we use the word “sin” to express the sense of our own brokenness, does that seem like condemnation or does it invite compassion and reconciliation?

I asked her, “If you had a friend who was hurting herself in some way because she was under so much stress, would you consider her a sinner?” As it turns out, no. She would have compassion for that hypothetical friend. She would try to support her.

The point here is pretty obvious but let me make it anyway: although it’s true that some clergy persons are sick little bundles of denial, engaging in secret, dysfunctional and destructive behaviors that will harm themselves and their congregations, my experience informs me that most of us are painfully aware of our failures, shortcomings and addictive tendencies and are, in fact, quite unforgiving about them. We are spiritual and professional perfectionists, many of us, trying not only to do the right things but to think the right thoughts and to have the right feelings. This is the aim of our spiritual disciplines — “God, make pure my heart within me” — “May my the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord my rock and my redeemer,” etc. Good God, kids, do you think the average investment banker, schoolteacher, hairdresser, waitress,retail clerk or engineer puts themselves through that kind of rigorous self-policing throughout the day? Hells no!

Pigeons, forgive yourselves. Put down the chocolate bar, the pizza, the pastries or whatever it is that plagues and poisons you, wipe off your mouth with a nice napkin, and move on. You can always flagellate yourself later, after you’ve had a nice long walk, a bath and a cup of peppermint tea. Why kick yourself when you’re down (or on a bad “up” from too much sugar, fat and carbs)? What good does that do you, and how does that honor your covenant with God?

I myself, after finally having hit the 20+ lbs. lost mark last Saturday, am having a bad week with food. And why wouldn’t I? The weather is dreary, I’ve been seriously crampy and headachy for days, my lower back hurts (I’m carrying tons of tension there but yoga poses are helping a lot), people I dearly love are terminally ill, in hospital with various other painful ailments and suffering other kinds of losses (and isn’t that always the case in parish ministry?). I’m post-Easter weary, I’m dreading my May sabbatical time (funny, in’t that?), I’m tired of being disciplined around food and I just want to eat huge bowls of Kashi cereal with dark chocolate chips in them. And so what. My job as I see it right now is to hang on to my little boat while the waves swell and crest, to weep freely as I need to, and to monitor my eating not for Weight Watchers compliance right now but just to assure that my eating doesn’t go from Tired Girl Indulging territory into Good Lord, All Hell Has Broken Loose and Now She’s Into Serious Buffalo Wing Abuse territory.

No, I won’t get to the gym today, either. I’ll get there tomorrow and both God and I will forgive me for it. If I gain a pound, that’s a trespass that can be forgiven, too.

Being beautiful, vibrant and polished as a public religious leader does not mean achieving perfection. It means being alive in God’s presence and unafraid to communicate that presence to a broken world. If today all you can manage is to lay your burden down and rest in God’s care, do it. You’ll know you need to when you find yourself too exhausted to apply mascara or to properly comb your hair. Be careful out there, my lovely ones. Attend to yourself as you would a visiting dignitary, with all due respect and hospitality. For if you do not, your psyche and your body will go out together for coffee without you and devise mischievous schemes to get your attention.

Put down the donuts, back away from the ciggies, get back to a 12-step meeting for over-spending, overeating, alcoholism, sex or drug addiction, stop being a superhero. Toss the M&M’s in the trash, smash the Doritos and run water over them, douse the ice cream with kosher salt. Unplug the phone, cancel a meeting, ask for help. Delegate, see your therapist, let God run the world for a day without you.

God has made a good gift in you. Love yourselves, forgive the sins, and move on. Better yet, move to the bed and take a nap.

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