Beauty Tips for Ministers

Update on Eating

Hi dolls,

Just an update on the self-care, summer R&R front.

I have been home for six days and have spent that time mostly sleeping, getting up and thinking a lot about the fact that I really should be exercising/cleaning/organizing/planning and then sleeping more and watching movies or TV. TV is FUNNY! I love “The Golden Girls!” I didn’t do anything involving people who know me until today. I fell asleep in the hammock this afternoon reading the Harvard Divinity Bulletin.
Newsflash: I am eating about half of what I usually do.

Here’s how the eating thing works:
I make sure to have a smoothie for breakfast.
I have iced coffee, my favorite summer food.

When I get hungry in the afternoon, I put a bunch of healthy things on the counter and make a little plate of it and then eat that.
I sit at the kitchen table and ask myself, “Are you still hungry?”
I decide that I don’t know. So I decide to wait. I say to myself, “Well, we have all the time in the world because we’re on vacation now.”
I wait for awhile to see if I’m hungry and decide I’m not.

I go do some stuff for a bunch of hours until I feel hungry again. I go make another plate of small healthy things. I eat a bunch of whatever I want to until I don’t feel hungry any more. Then I stop.

My thoughts on this:

1. I’m not trying to make “meals.” Meals are intimidating. I don’t feel like dealing with MEALS like lunch, dinner, etc. There’s too much pressure. I prefer my little plates of stuff.

2. I am learning that I have no idea if I’m full or hungry most of the time, and mistake tiredness for hunger on a very consistent basis. Going back for seconds is all about the taste of the food and the sedative effect of a very full stomach. If I am well-rested and calm, I don’t need the sedative effect. I am battling this habit.

3. No more snacks out of bags while reading. Bad, bad habit. Boy, do I love eating salty crunchy things out of bags while reading. Boy, do I have to stop that forever.

4. I eat whatever I darn well please, but it goes on a little plate. I find that I love these little plates of things. It feels very European to me, or like I’m always at a party.

5. Keeping lots of fruits and vedjables in the house at all times. Easy to do in the summer.

So darling ones, how YOU doon?

Festival of Homiletics: Krispy Kreme Kommunion?

Briefly, briefly from PeaceBang’s observations of 1,680 preacher conferees in Nashville:

• We have to talk about weight. PeaceBang is quite serious about this. She saw dozens of people who were in the 300+ pound range, and when Grace Imathiu announced that there would be Krispy Kremes at the break and a sigh went up as though she had announced that Jesus Himself would be handing them out, PeaceBang knew we Had To Talk about our eating situation. We really do. Especially because PeaceBang couldn’t help but notice that every single one of the main speakers was fit and trim (well, Jim Wallis is a bit hefty, but he was the exception) and what does that say about the body-spirit connection? It certainly doesn’t say that if you’re chunky or fat you can’t be a fantastic preacher, but it says something. And when PeaceBang figures out what that something is, she is going to invite us all into a conversation about it, so stay tuned.
• Scraggly facial hair. Gentlemen, super-casual clothes are fine because we were all pretty much on retreat, but I’m guessing that you didn’t all go home and fire up the Norelco Nose Hair Trimmer and beard clippers. Now that you’ve gotten home safe and sound, could you please get after those gorilla hairs that have taken over your neck and ears?
• Dudes with HAIR PARTED IN THE MIDDLE. PeaceBang is speechless. It didn’t work on Scott Baio in 1978 and it doesn’t work today. Okay, maybe it did work on Scott Baio. And Erik Estrada. But darling fellas, it doesn’t work on you, especially when you’re strawberry blonde with a sunburned scalp.
• Ladies with the big ole toes hanging over the front of your sandals, a tip: our feet all slide forward when we walk. Also, leather stretches. Keep this in mind when purchasing sandals and try to keep the little piggies in their pen. I’m trying to be cute about this but really, it’s just basic grooming. Because, yuck.
• Filthy knapsacks: again, I know we were all pretty much on retreat and there’s no need to go about with especially fashionable or professional bags, but could we stop dragging around filthy, beat-up knapsacks as though we’re in the sixth grade? Even a clean tote would be better than that.

But aw, overall everyone was so happy to be there I couldn’t really fault them for being messy. I did see a profusion of ankle-length denim jumpers — even some with SOCKS and LOAFERS — but I was honestly just feeling too tenderly toward my hard-working, hard-laughing, spirit-seeking colleagues to cast a very critical eye. Bless all our hearts, and especially those arteries. And Lord, preserve us from Krispy Kremes and other false idols. Amen.

Weight Falling Off

By the way, Anonymous who wrote in a few days ago to say that you had had a nutritional epiphany of some kind and that the weight was falling off like mad, congratulations!

Can you tell us more about your nutritional conversion?

We’d love to hear about it.

Cheers, PeaceBang