PeaceBang Is Having A Bad Hair Year

It’s really that I’ve gained weight and I’m trying to have fun with SOME part of my appearance, but this is bad, bad, bad.

I went in to get what the Hair Cuttery advertises as a $10 Color Zap. I had my hair colored very nicely there a month ago and it had faded. I had an event to go to in Chicago this weekend, so I went in for my ZAP.

They zapped me with the exact same color they used on my the last time, but it made my hair a dark, dead brown.
“Where’s the red?” I asked. The gal could see I was miserable.

“I think the last time you came in, you had all of those highlights. Now that they’re covered, it just didn’t take the way it should have.”

I’m not buying this AT ALL, but I said, “Well, it’s a dead brown and I’m depressed. Please fix it.”

OHHHHHHHHHHHH, she fixed it alright.

I now have pomegranate red hair. I have screaming raspberry lollipop red hair. I have “You’d Better Not Walk Out the Door Without A Carefully Considered Outfit And Make-Up Or You’ll Look Like A Bloated Old Hooker” Red Hair.

But that’s just my “identified issue,” as a friend helped me see. The real issue is that I am feeling lousy about myself and my appearance, and all of these hair misshaps are just icing on the cake.

THANK YOU SO MUCH to the lovely anonymous person who sent me the book Curly Girl, which has taught me how to deal with my officially formerly-undiagnosed wavy hair. I’m still confused by the whole new concept of not trying to blow dry it into submission, but I’m sort of enjoying the experimentation.

Please, no advice solicited on the low self-esteem and weight and food stuff. They are perrennial and I know what to do. Just sharing and hoping you’ll get something for yourself out of my struggles.

Hair Clinic, Part III

Pigeons.

I tried.
I let it air dry.
I did not brush it.
Sometimes, I brushed it.
I conditioned it. I used curling products.
I used sponge rollers.

It never looked anywhere as decent as it looked in that ONE halfway decent photo I took on the day I had it cut.
I learned a lot about curly hair.
And I learned that the cut I got was just wrong, wrong, wrong for my texture and type of hair.

Live and learn.

I am a professional. My hair has to look groomed, and it was not looking groomed. I had to keep it in a wide headband in order for it not to look like a frizzy, bedraggled mess (except for a few miraculous moments when it wasn’t — but those were rare).

I realized upon close inspection this morning that the hair was quite VERY unevenly, which was, of course, an interesting discovery. Nice to pay someone $50 to cut your hair unevenly!

Given that I live an hour from the salon, I visited my local MasterCuts tonight for a blow-out and decided to ask the stylist there to trim the cut and help redeem the shape from “square” to something more flattering. I swear I am not lying when I tell you that it was looking like Benjamin Franklin hair.

She did. She blew it straight. My heart sank into my feet as I realized I had one of those Suburban Mom cuts. But at least it’s not square anymore, and it’s even, and it’s shiny, and it will grow, and I can make teeny-tiny ponytails still (I would have cried if I couldn’t make my ponies) and I can add some product in the morning before church and give it some oomph.

HAIR Clinic 016

HAIR Clinic 011

HAIR Clinic 028

I Suffer So We Can All Learn.

Silver Wedge Sneakers

All over Athens this past spring, I saw women in adorable silver wedge sneakers worn with snappy little outfits that were totally office-appropriate (blazers with nice jeans, scarves, big “statement” bags, etc.).

WHY oh WHY can’t I find any of those little sneakers here!!??

whine!!!

I found a pair of pretty silver sneakers yesterday but they were so flat-footed they didn’t have that chic look at all. The design was too Keds-like to work. What I want is a sophisticated shoe: not all athletic-y with the bumps and treads, but not so whispy as to look like a mocassin, either. I want a silver sneaker with a small wedge and a streamlined, but substantial foot. Laces aren’t necessary – a zipper will do — but laces are best.

I saw these all over Greece — why oh whine didn’t I buy some there?

Any ideas? I’ve looked through Zappos under silver/sneaker/wedge and all the search engines. I know these shoes are out there because I’ve SEEN them. Do we have any readers in Athens?

This is as close as I’ve been able to get, and they’re kind of meh. I want something with more of a wedge and a snappier, less runner-shoe design.

silver sneakers

Hair Clinic, Part II

Day Two of Hair Cut:

I shampood it with straightening shampoo.
I towel dried it.
I put in KMS curly-making goo.
I blew it dry with a thingmajingy (diffuser).
It is straight and floppy and has jaggedy ends.
I added some Cocky by Bedhead to give it some lift and piece-out the ends.

It is just flop. Soft, lank, with a few waves and good body in the back but mostly a big head of nothing.

What I plan to try:
Blowing it out straight and forward with volumizing foam at the roots. I will piece out the ends with a more clay-like product.

(Believe me, I got a whole bathroom cabinet FULL of hair products.)

Seemed Like a Good Idea At the Time: Hair Rant

Okay, pigeons! It’s time to play, “I Thought This Haircut Would Work On Me!”

You’ve played this, right?
You choose a haircut out of a magazine or you see it on someone and you say, “That’s what I want MY hair to look like! Please, Mr. or Ms. Stylist, cut my hair and make it go like THAT!”

And then you wind up with a ‘do that either…

a) looks like a hot mess;
b) winds up being very style-intensive to get it to do what you want it to do;
c) winds up requiring tons of different products to get it to look like anything, or;
d) ends up fine.

Now, you must understand that PeaceBang is not one to obsess too much about hair. She knows that it grows, and she cuts and colors her own with confidence that whatever hideousness may result on occasion, change is good and hair does grow back. And if it doesn’t grow back for some reason, we can start investigating the beauty of silk scarves and turbans.

But for some reason my usual attitude has totally failed me today.
I went to a salon yesterday with a friend who was getting treatments for her birthday and saw a young stylist with EXACTLY the hair cut I have been wanting for myself. It is a sort of long, shaggy bob with blunt angles and a slightly longer front than back. I have been letting my hair grow for a year, so I knew I had enough length to do it.

I have not had even medium long hair since college, so it may be that I was more emotionally attached to my longer hair than I thought. It may be that my longer hair was a wonderful memory of my sabbatical, when I wore pigtails and ponytails on my foreign travels and threw my hair back in a clip while it dried. It may be that my longer hair represented something to me about femininity or freedom, since it required no styling or drying with a blow dryer.

I should have thought about this before I had a gal named Kirsten chop my ponytail off yesterday.

I also should have remembered that my hair has a lot of wave in it, and realize that Kirsten’s shaggy, sexy, layered bob would become a total Curl Crime Scene on my own head as soon as the humidity hit it.

new-haircut-good
Looks not bad, right? Kind of cute, even?

Just a lucky shot. This haircut is going to have me looking like a totally bedraggled mess on Sunday mornings.
new-haircut-014
Oh, hai! That’s actually not a worm crawling across my face, it’s just mah HAHR. Also, do ya love my frizzy layers stickin’ sideways out my haid? ME TOO! Praise the lord n’ thanks fer comin!

Please, help. Tips? I’ve tried it with a headband: NOT good. I’ve pulled it back: meh. Am I fated to blow this sucker out straight every day? I’m wicked uncoordinated with a blowdryer and even worse with a hot iron (although I do own one).