Dear PeaceBang,
I have been assoc. pastor for 4 1/2 months for a local XXX church parish. Four churches. I switch off preaching to two of them with the senior pastor every two weeks.
Shortening this up a lot, here’s the deal: I have MANY clothes from my past 35 years of teaching, ending spring of ’09, in my closet. I have started pulling out the more “serious” pieces for worship services, meetings, etc., but I still have many colorful shirts and tops which do not look particularly “pastorly.” Okay, so what do I do about tops I LOVE which have some sequins on the front to accent a colorful Parisian scene, for example? I hate to rid myself of these pieces I love, but at the majority of places I go, I wish to maintain my new status in my appearance– by what I wear. What is too flashy for women pastors? I still wear my cargo pants but also use more classic tops, in that case. Seems one distinctive piece at a time might work, though not cargos and sequins on the shirt together. I have many nice blazers and jackets for colder seasons in the Midwest. I do loathe the idea of dressing nicer than my parishioners, though in this rural area, some women (and many men) are accustomed to wearing jeans to Sunday services. I’ve worn a skirt every Sunday since I started in July though I could happily wear pants each Sunday in winter if given the green light. (Haven’t asked.) I don’t want to dump a lot of stuff, since I like my (past life) wardrobe a lot.
So,Victoria, just some fashion guidelines for this rookie pastor would be helpful. I’ll be a fairly youthful [50-something] next month and am not attending seminary or other schooling as of yet, since I have this step called CANDIDACY to accomplish before doing so.
Please take your time on this. Appearance conveys such an image–an unspoken message–to others! I hope to show I am appropriately and modestly clothed (no cleavage, for sure) and not obviously trying to get visual attention, yet individualistic in my self-expression. I work with the parish youth group also, many previously my students in junior high and high school, and they respond well to jeans on teachers and spiritual leaders alike, I’ve found. BTW, my husband thinks I look great in everything, bless his heart.
Shalom,
[Newbie Pastor]
Dear Newbie!
OH NO! What terrible news! You have PERSONALITY and an individual sense of STYLE!!
Just kidding you, kiddo.
This is a great letter, and I appreciate the accompanying photos that show you to be a petite, vibrant-looking lady who is in great shape and has a sense of fun with her clothes.
As you know, I agree wholeheartedly with you that your new image as a pastor is one that you want to take seriously and craft with intention, and I therefore commend you for taking a long look at your wardrobe and choosing judiciously from among your more colorful and even eccentric pieces. As you have intuited, one stand-out piece per outfit is a very good general guideline. So if you want to wear that hypothetical zebra print jacket, pair it with very tailored other pieces and make sure you’re wearing it for an appropriate occasion where “fun” or “wild” wouldn’t seem bizarre and/or distracting.
PeaceBang loves her some sequins but can’t think of one church event at which sequins would make any sense at all. She advises you to save them for nights out with your supportive and wonderful hubby. They’re just too flashy for the pastor’s wardrobe, even with a jacket over them and black pants.
As for dressing “nicer” than your parishioners, I wonder if you could think of it as dressing for work, while your parishioners are dressed for a day of rest? In other words, if you are in a suit and silk scarf on Sunday mornings and they are in jeans, are you really dressing “nicer” than them in some display of competitive status or is it really that you’re showing your respect for your role and for the Church? Only you can answer that question, because every community is different. In some congregations, folks gather to worship in flannel shirts and coveralls but would be shocked and offended if their pastor showed up for church in anything but a suit and tie. In others, a critical eye is cast on the minister if he or she seems to be “too fancy.” In still others, the members of the church are so swankified, the minister couldn’t possibly hope to keep up with all the Beau Brummels on his salary. He suffers great insecurity because his shoes are worn and his elbows patched. Since you serve FOUR congregations (bless your busy heart!), you will have to suss out the culture in each one and find a happy medium that allows you to go from one to the next without becoming sartorially schizophrenic.
A word on the cargo pants: I’d save them for casual summer days at the office. They’re just too sporty and casual and funky for ministry work. While I don’t want you to feel that you have to jettison all the distinctive pieces from your closet, I do want you to think about working from funky to more elegant- with-touches-of-funky. Keep a close, editing eye on cut and style: shirts with cut-outs or fringe are no-no’s. Skirts with glitz-factor, sheer fabrics or funny hems– also no-no’s. Avoid shiny fabrics unless they’re on tailored pieces and used for accents under more tailored garments. Remember how much of an impact a dramatic accessory can make and stop there rather than add another high-interest piece.
It may be time to take some of those truly out-there garments and let them have a new life with another owner. Think on these things…! 🙂
Send photos and show us some of your outfits! We’d love to see your transformation!
Kiss of peace, PB and your sisters and brothers in ministry