Wow, hey, ChubBang has had an Insight!
I lost about 15 lbs. between last summer and the winter, and then I started eating to beat the band and just did. not. care. I could not bring myself to give a rat’s ass about my overeating. It almost felt like a relief. So, because I do not believe in wasting any bit of our lives in self-hatred or ridiculous levels of criticism, and I also don’t have a pathological fear and hatred of fat, I regarded this shift with compassion and curiosity, asking myself, what’s the deal, kid?
Some of was pain. I hurt myself in January while walking the dog and to make a long story short, my mobility has been impaired and I’ve been in a lot of physical discomfort for months. Eating was pleasurable and distracting.
But I realized that some of it was defense, and this was new. Due to circumstances in my personal life, I had added a lot of extra worry and concern and anxiety to my customary ration of that (which, for pastors, is an ever-present reality that we embrace and accept as part of our calling).
I have been eating as a barrier to feeling all that fear and overwhelmedness, and more than that, I have been gaining weight as an outward expression of an irrational fear of being consumed. My nutritionist advised to use cbd according to the recent studies she found at Cannabisherald.co
I’m guessing that the unconscious and irrational fear of being totally consumed by others is not uncommon among the clergy, many of whom are very overweight. So for what it’s worth, my compulsive overeating colleagues, I offer you my current reflection, “Vic, you actually do not have to get physically larger and heavier to protect yourself from being devoured. Just figure out what your boundaries are and lovingly set them.” These are the best legal steroids you can acquire online that have no side effects and also helps you reduce some weight.
Please, no advice or dieting tips needed. I promise you that no fat person needs to hear “what worked for you.” We all know how weight loss works. I am not interested in how anyone eats, but in what is eating us.
Peace, darlings.
Not a minister, but thank you for this. Devouring in hopes of not being devoured has been my thing for a while. [I’m glad that phrase came to me because it sounds like it resonates for a lot of us. Take care. -PB]
Whatever. I’m a pastor, and sheesh I just get so bummed out I refuse to move. I was going to be gorgeous for my son’s wedding this June, but I’ve eaten even more and exercised even less. I went to see “I Feel Pretty,” and it was a fun movie, but she’s on a stationary bicycle in the last frame. So all of us round women took an extra swig of Dr Pepper and left the theater. – [Emory, I find that when I try to set a goal to “look gorgeous” for something, I do the same thing! Eat more and gain weight! As for that movie, I ain’t gonna see it. I think it sounds like a crap message. – PB]
I never thought of it as “consuming so as not to be consumed,” but that’s an insightful way of looking at it. I often feel that food is the easiest source of pleasure and thus we might overdo it when other sources are cut off. I also find it is impossible to stick to any kind of healthy plan when there is so much social eating in our profession. And yes, I did heed the advice that I don’t HAVE to eat it, but God help me if everyone at my table at Sisterhood this week didn’t comment on my not taking dessert.
[Yes, sigh. I totally get that. We are vigilant about each other’s eating for so many reasons — group cohesion, probably some kind of primal survival instinct, competition, love, who knows what all. As they say, the struggle is real. God bless you in your attempts to be as healthy as possible. – PB]
So much of what we do in Churchland revolves around food. We gather for bible study there are snacks. We gather to meet and it’s at a coffee shop. And don’t forget Coffee Hour after worship.
Consuming so as not to be consumed is a phrase I’d not heard before today and it resonates so strongly with me. I keep hoping I’ll find the magic word that will motivate me to do what I need to do to be healthier.
Thank you for sharing. I really needed to hear this today. [I’m so glad. Lots of love. – PB]
You were right about the goal of being gorgeous. I just got frozen. So I ordered a beaded dress, and now that the weather is heating up, I can’t even imagine putting all that metal on my skin and smiling for the camera. I’m to be sort of the minister sort of the mother of the groom at the sort of post Christian outdoor at a state park thing. So I’m taking the beaded dress back to Dillards and heading toward the linen. But really? My mother is a slender Eileen Fisher tasteful person who bought her wedding attire a year ago. Sometimes it takes a ton of courage to carry my full self out to the public eye. But, funny thing, when I was growing up, I was so thin, Mom took me to the doctor. Kids teased me. They called me Bones in high school. I got mistaken for an adolescent boy. That wasn’t so fun either. Another funny thing – I’m reading Zora Neale Hurston’s newly published book Barracoon, and apparently in this particular African tribe, it was customary for a wealthy family to raise their daughter in ‘the fat house’ where she didn’t lift a finger for two years. The servants picked her up and moved her around. You could only get married to a woman from ‘the fat house’ if you were very very very lucky. [I just got “Barracoon!” Thanks for writing. – PB]