Oh, darlings. If there’s one thing PeaceBang positively LOATHES, it’s having to find something to wear for a special event. This is her idea of a nightmare. Special events and rites of passage are wonderful, of course, but it is PeaceBang’s commitment to always have something classic in her closet that will work for many such occasions so she is spared the dreadful ordeal of shopping for any particular one of them. If anything could cause me to enter the convent, that would be it. Just set me right up with a habit, please. As long as it’s not itchy fabric. Sister PeaceBang.
I have a big event coming up, as I am being Installed (like software, as we say) at my new congregation on March 16th. Believe it or not, I find such occasions intimidating and exhausting. I LOVE being invited to preach at ordinations and installations — that suits me great, and much better than being the ordinand or installee. These events are an important part of tradition but they’re a lot of work for everyone and really throw us off our regular rhythms. I wish we could elope, or just say “How about you all come over for a wienie roast and we’ll do the Act of Installation over pie for dessert?” But that is idle fantasizing, as a degree of formality and fanciness is called for here. Which means that I get to fret about What To Wear (yes, I do it just like you do!).
For me, the whole point about thinking about what fits and works for me throughout the year is that I don’t feel totally unprepared and intimidated when I have to dress myself for important occasions. I did a quick audit of my closet a week or so ago and decided that, as many a gal will say when looking at racks of clothes, “I have nothing to wear!”
In this case, it happened to be accurate. An Installation is a very special occasion and I skew to the slightly Boho/funky on one end of my wardrobe spectrum and Extremely Boring and Tailored at the other. Neither one of those options really suits the occasion. The Extremely Boring and Tailored pieces are my gear for weddings and funerals, and I jazz those up with accessories, hair and make-up when necessary, but they’re just not special enough for one’s own Installation. There is also the sad fact that many of my tried-and-true tailored rites of passage pieces are really old now, and while they’re not totally threadbare or inappropriate, they lack the requisite Specialness for the occasion.One of my favorite and dearest blazers, for example, is sun-faded and absolutely must be retired. That thing has seen way more weddings than Liz Taylor. It used to be a lovely robin’s egg blue and now it just looks white with a splotchy blue tinge. *sob*
It was my luck to find two nice blazers online at Macy’s, and one by Calvin Klein which matches the Calvin Klein charcoal grey skirt I bought last fall, so now I have a proper suit. Yay, Macy’s! And on sale!
I also decided to replace my splotchy old blue blazer with a bright cobalt blue one, and I feel just fine about either of these options with a silk blouse and heels for the Installation. Maybe I’ll go to a hairdresser and get mah hair did.
I dutifully took my jackets to my wondrous tailor, who helps to take some of the bulk out of the arms, nip in the waist so that I appear to have a waist, shorten the sleeves and generally talk me through my sartorial game plan for any big events I have coming up. My father, the late Carl Davis Weinstein, always told me that a good tailor was your best friend, and you should honor, cherish and obey him or her. He was right. And I do.
Sunny agreed with me that the buttons on the blue blazer were uninspiring. That’s what a good tailor will do: they’ll be honest with you. If you say, “Does my butt look big in this?” your loyal tailor will tell you that it does, and then make some magic happen to make your butt look better. If you say, “I don’t love these buttons,” your tailor may fix upon those buttons with eagle eye, pronounce them unacceptable, and decide to make it her mission to find better ones.
Not being satisfied with any of these options, Sunny will be shopping for just the right buttons and texting me photos of what she finds to see which ones I like the best. Because she’s the best.
The way I see it is this: all of this feels like a lot of fuss. And it is. But, God willing, I will be wearing that charcoal suit and that blue blazer for years to come. I will be in how many couple’s wedding photos in that blue blazer (or maybe not – it may be too bright to inflict on a wedding). That charcoal suit will be my solace and comfort when I need funeral attire and can’t be bothered to think about what goes with what, and are the sleeves too long. When I have to give a lecture on the theology of covenant and I’d rather put my time and energy into reviewing Richard Mather’s theories of congregationalism than into worrying about what in the world I am going to wear, I will be very grateful to reach for that blue blazer, pull on a pair of black trousers or a skirt, choose from among a few bold necklaces and feel confident and presentable.
We fuss today so that we can devote our full attention to the work to which God calls us tomorrow.
God bless you and all your buttons, dears. Kiss of peace.
Why I love vestments – no decisions – what season? Green, red, blue, purple or white stole are the choices and a clean alb. (nothing fries me more than seeing dirty uncared for vestments – ring around the collar, stains, un-ironed – a thought maybe you could write up vestment wearing dos and don’ts). But then there is the reception – so love your choices and ideas.
God bless you, Sunny and both of your buttons too! 🙂
Hmm. My previous comment makes it sound like you have one button each. I think you know what I mean.
Wondering along with Ann–don’t you robe for these events? I always robe for weddings (actually, I always ask, and they always say yes), but I do inquire about the wedding’s color scheme so that I can choose a stole that goes with the view. I so rarely stay for receptions that it almost doesn’t matter what I wear underneath, except when it does. So I presume you’re thinking not so much about the installation ceremony/service, and more about the reception afterwards, which is also a photo-worthy event.
In face, we want pictures!
Have a lovely day.
Yes, yes, of course! I shall robe for the occasion (what robe, what robe!?) and the Installation outfit is for the reception, which of course I will be at!! I do a lot of weddings where the couple would prefer me to be in street clothes, so I commit the unpardonable sin of wearing a stole over a suit. I have a couple of mini stoles for just such a purpose, or I wear a long skirt with a full-length stole.
Oh, Auntie PB. I will insist at my next installation opportunity that we elope. You are a genius. [I SO support this. Just run off to Vegas. – PB]
When I was about to be “installed” at my current congregation, a parishioner asked (with a twinkle in his eye):
Joe: “Do you know the difference between installing a pastor and a washing machine?”
Me: “Um, no.”
Joe: “The washing machine comes with a warranty.”