Another Sunday over but the shouting, although I suppose I could go out into the street and shout if I felt like it.
I love many things about my new ministry setting, but I hate the still-figuring-everything-outness of it all, learning the new juggling act that we all have to figure out in our ministerial context. I had forgotten that it takes a long time to learn the ropes in a new church, and patience is not one of my God-given virtues.
One thing I am beginning to wonder is if the one-day off per week makes any sense for maintaining balance and well-being over the long term. How many of you take two days off? I have never had more than one day off per week, but I always got a huge summer vacation. I am exploring the possibilities of working more in the summer, so I would love to hear your thoughts about time off with shorter vacations.
Do you have rules about how many nights per week you will be away from home at meetings or community events? I think that 3-4 should be any minister’s max. If I need to prepare a class or program, then two nights is good, since I need extra prep time. I happen to really love the fact that my congregation is frequently represented at community events that I am invited to, so I get to be part of a great mix of in-church and “beyond congregations” activities.
The constantly changing schedule of ministry work is one of my favorite things about it, but it does create a time management challenge. I think the units concept is helpful: morning is one unit, afternoon another, and the evening another, with each unit being about four hours. It helped me to manage my life when I became committed to intentionally working two units a day and reserving one unit for, you know, life. A unit can be devoted to study and writing, office work and administration, visiting, meetings, and church activities and programs. I do not include prayer and reflection in my units unless I have been running around, cheating myself of days off and in other ways violating my own boundaries around work and desperately need to block off some time for prayer. I would say that this is a very big help in avoiding burn-out, which I have never significantly experienced in sixteen years of parish ministry. If I need to take an entire morning for breathing, walking, reading and prayer I just do it. I know when I really need to, and I turn off everything and go into radio silence and time with God. If I do that for an entire unit of the day, it’s a huge deposit in my spirit bank that has lasting benefits, so I recommend it to any pastor. But on a regular basis, I pray upon waking, in the afternoon around tea time, and often before bed. That’s not ministry time, that’s just life time. I would try to do that no matter what kind of work I was doing.
Hey, so that’s another question for you: do you have regular, set hours for prayer? And do you, like me, ever get so lost in prayer that you feel a little loopy and clumsy and self-conscious if you go too quickly without any transition time from your prayer time to your next work appointment? Aren’t transitions hard? I think they’re so hard!
Enough from me. Now let’s hear from you, my dears!
I’ve gotten two days off each week in my last three ministries (I didn’t ask for it, it was part of the package each time). I’ve had them so that I took Tuesdays and Saturdays, which was nice because (a) you were never more than two days away from a day off and (b) when you lose the Saturday due to weddings, funerals, “BIG CHURCH EVENTS” you still had a day that was relatively unaffected. BUT for the last 10 years I’ve taken Friday and Saturday back to back, because often you need to two days to REALLY relax physically. It also means you’re not trying to fit committee meetings, etc. into a three day schedule rather than four (nobody wants meetings on Friday nights). Saturdays are hard because I do click into worship mode at sunset, but for years it was the only day I could spend with my partner and children. Weddings do take a hit on them, as do events that are scheduled for lay participation (judicatory gatherings, community wide events) but all in all it’s worked best for me. I also use the unit method for time management and I do try to take some “comp time” when I’ve just been going too hard for too long (those months with one day off…).
I’m curious, is reading personal time or work time? (Not research for a specific sermon, and not Harry Potter, but general development reading in theology, philosophy, sociology, etc.) How much time is spent “professionally reading” each week?
It took me about a month into my internship year to realize I needed two days off a week or I just couldn’t do ministry–too exhausting. So far (8 years and counting), I’ve been able to make it work and it absolutely keeps me sane. These days I take Thursdays and Fridays because that works for my family & typically there’s not too much church stuff going on. Occasionally I say no to things I’m interested in because they’re on a day off. Occasionally I say yes & just work it out. I do feel a bit vulnerable “admitting” this among colleagues–there’s a part of me that feels ashamed I can’t just suck it up like other colleagues and work longer hours. But I know this is what’s healthy and sustainable for me. And I think I am doing good ministry.
Mondays are my day off. I am not tempted to write my sermon on Monday!
Friday is my “study day,” when I work from home. I am not “off,” I welcome phone calls, answer emails, and will pop in to the office if necessary. I also do the family laundry that day. This is the day I try to work on my sermon.
Saturday is open for ministry events, but if there aren’t any, it’s a day off, except we have a late afternoon service during the school year for which I must be at the church for by 4PM. I’d say about 2/3 of my Saturdays have some business-related event, ranging from an all-day conference to that one service.
Monday is sacrosanct (except for funerals) and I really, really try to keep that boxed off.
Friday and Saturday, together, provide a slower pace where I can get some personal things done but also give me those blocks of time to work that just don’t happen when I’m in my church office. This rhythm has worked very well for me for years.
All that time management wisdom is the GOAL. If you ask my husband, though, he’d say I work 7 days a week.
I’ve gotten pretty good at taking one day off every week, usually Fridays. My synod however is now recommending 2 days off (and no more than 50 hours a week). It’s a struggle to move things around, get everything I need to get done accomplished, and still take 2 days off. I haven’t been too successful at it yet.
I do watch my evening schedule. I’ve heard not to schedule more than 2 evenings a week – for more than 2, you need to take a morning or afternoon off to compensate. That seems to help.
Another thing I do is to watch my holidays. The call paperwork states specific holidays which are to be taken in addition to the day off. When I was taking Monday’s off, I would take an extra day if the holiday falls on Monday or I had to work on the holiday – like the Memorial Day when I did the prayers for the community service and then had a funeral in the afternoon.
My schedule has been more or less like Becky’s for years, and it’s worked for me. However, this year, I am finding that the week is more demanding, including a late Saturday afternoon meeting with my sweet, amazing board chair & chair elect. I am finding myself with less gas in the tank for Friday/Saturday sermonation, Plus I’m hearing whispers of “third service” in the air, which could well be Saturday at 5 or even a Shabbat-style service on Friday evening. The saving grace here is that it would likely be an alternative style service, more interactive than the I-preach-you-listen style that a lot of younger people don’t want. Or so we hear.
I take two days off every week, and a Sunday off every month. Monday’s my scheduled day off, and Saturday is my sacrosanct-family-day-except-for-a-few-key-church-events (our church auction, the Board retreat). I used to do a lot of weddings and funerals on Saturdays. Now, very few. I know one day off per week is common, but I can’t imagine it. Unions won us the five-day work week a long time ago, and that time of rest is important.
I used to have 2-3 evening meetings per week every week, and it wasn’t too bad when I was single, stressful when I had a partner, and hell when we had a small child. A couple of years ago, I proposed a new schedule of only 3 evenings, and 2 long Sundays, per month, and a short day to avoid commuting during the worst of rush hour (10-4 unless there’s an evening meeting). I am an early riser and work 1-2 hours several mornings per week before I even leave the house, so I’m working 40+ hours, just at times that might seem unusual to some. We made the change without fanfare and it has worked out fine.
One factor is that I commute 35 miles; there is no popping home to bring my daughter home from school, enjoying a nice afternoon and family dinner, then popping back for a committee meeting. When I’m at work in the evening, it means my wife does the whole evening routine with our daughter solo, and I don’t see my daughter until the morning. If I worked five minutes from home, I would be more flexible about evening meetings. Likewise, when the child is older things may look different. It helps that evening classes don’t work so well for my congregation, so people are more than happy to have me do those things on a Sunday afternoon. And my congregation was working on a pastoral-to-program shift, and forcing myself to work with committee chairs instead of attending all those meetings was really good discipline. All of which is to say, it depends on your and your congregation’s needs. We are blessed with pretty flexible jobs, the kind of schedule where we can go to the dentist on a work morning if need be and make up for it with a late night of research on the internet, and each of us can design a sane schedule according to our needs.
Curious whether any of your congregations have a DAWG-days requirement (you may call it something else)? Days Alone With God. Each staff member has a scheduled day of the month for retreat/prayer/seeking/listening to God as part of their work for the congregation and then confirms that it was taken. Most of the churches I have heard of doing this include the “support” staff, but some only have this requirement for the pastoral staff.
Anyone?
If yes, any advice for how to structure it or talk about it?
When I was in a pulpit, I used to have Mondays off (I miss that now, it was the best for running errands). As the years wore on, I also tried to make sure I had at least one additional weeknight off (I chose Thursdays). I like the three-segmented approach to the day. I heard once that one should work ten segments a week, two of them from home (I used to do a lot of blocks from home when a big sermon was coming up). I am also of the opinion that any reading or study that has something to do with your ministry should count as one of those blocks. I know that Rabbi Yoffie, the head of the Reform movement, advocated that rabbis should get one day for rest and one day for study each week, but I’ve never seen that happen.
A year ago I started the job I have now as a religion journalist, a community ministry. The 40-hour week is what’s in writing, but the energies for the first few years are more like someone on the tenure track–work many hours, odd times, and look forward to when you can have a consistent two days off (preferably consecutive days). Part of the “learning curve,” too, you might say. It’s enjoyable work, but I do hope that when I’ve set standards and consistency which can be carried through week to week, I can let the “machine” take more of the load while I dedicate my time more to family, home, and other areas of ministry.
I appreciate all these comments! I was particularly struck by Laura’s who talked about feeling guilty of not sucking it up and working more like her peers. I totally know where she is coming from. I am in my 7th year of ministry and have 3 small children. I came out of seminary with a strong wellness ethic, talking about porous boundaries (boundaries that can be shifted IF ABSOLUTELY NEED BE), time for prayer, spiritual growth, etc. So given that, and the nature of my congregation, I don’t feel I have approached burn out. But it often feels as though “’tis nobler [in the eyes of others] to almost burn out and find self care” than it is to begin ministry with a good practice of self care, you know? For me, I’m glad I have healthy practices, but the damn protestant work ethic (for protestants or not) is so culturally hemmed in our psyche that it’s hard to shake…
Caroline’s comments are right on the money, IMO. I once was at camp with a group of pastors, who were denigrating a colleague who had strict boundaries about days off. It was almost a point of pride with them – “I haven’t had a day off in a month” “I never get all my vacation in” I work 60-70 hours a week” And here I was, a brand new pastor out of seminary, with the carefully drilled in admonitions about self care and making sure you take all your time off still ringing in my ears. And I realized that we are our own worst enemies – ready to judge someone who practices healthy self care as being less than dedicated, and prizing excessive works schedules as desired norm.
The past two years I’ve held two ministry positions (serving as denominational staff and serving as pastor in a small congregation). It’s been a wild and wooly ride trying to figure out my schedule. Mondays are my sabbath day, and Fridays are my worship prep day. I’m really good about keeping those days free of other commitments and I think that’s what has helped me stay balanced.
Just today, I was thinking about the nature of both my ministry positions, and feeling really thankful for how much control I have over my schedule. Part of being able to breathe in ministry is being able to say no and not overcommitting myself (which I love to do – overcommit. I want to do everything!). Both my positions have generous vacation days and reading/study weeks. So there are times during the year that I work really hard, and other times where my schedule is more flexible.
Last summer I didn’t preach for about 7 Sundays, but I still attended church when I was in town and went to meetings, etc. It was a really nice break, and allowed me time to plan out worship for this year. I will do that again next summer.
Thanks PB for this engaging and thought provoking post. And thanks all of you – the comments have been really helpful and interesting. In my early years in the pulpit I took Monday off but as children arrived, especially number two, I stopped taking an official day off. At the time I felt that I needed the flexibility to take off when my children were sick (which seemed like always in the early years) or were off school. I also worked a shorter day so I felt that not taking a day off meant that “it all evened out.†Just this year I have begun to take the occasional day off and it has been wonderful for my spirit both in and out of work.
A bishop I know has been advocating that (especially young single) clergy in small town/ rural parishes take four days off a month where they leave town. As anyone who has lived in a small town knows there is no such thing as a true day off since your car in the driveway means that you’re home and even at the grocery store you’re “Pastor”. I’m intrigued by the idea and I imagine that this could be combined with a day off a week.
I love the rhythm of Friday-Saturday off. Sure, there are exceptions for weddings, funerals, etc. but as a (mostly) introvert, I find that having Friday mostly to myself helps me rev up for all the energy I will expend on Sundays.
I used to devote much of Friday-Saturday to sermon-writing, but since we’ve started an alternative service which includes visuals, I have the sermon done by Thursday late afternoon to give it to the visuals team. It can be done, and the weekends now really feel like weekends!
The best question a minister friend asked me was can you imagine working as you are for the next 25 years. I want to be in this for the long haul and so I work with that long haul vision. Next year I’ll have been an employee the church for 20 years and I still not near menopause. I take Mondays (always) and most Saturdays. I adopted my son several years ago and parenting is my priority (written while neglecting the child to the television). I give two nights a week to the church and three if absolutely necessary. On evenings with a meeting I pick my kid up early and have extra time with him before I go out. I would love to be working more evenings and start more programs but you can’t time bank a seven year old.
@EmJ: Who is this bishop?! I had a very difficult time in a rural setting (as a young and single woman) and while I knew that this would greatly help me, I never felt like I had the support I really needed to do this.