Human beings should be classified as a controlled substance.
Hi, it’s PeaceBang!
I’ve been thinking about how I tend to feel pulled like taffy this time of year by the perfect balance between my introverted and extroverted selves (I scored precisely in the middle on the Myers-Briggs). As the days grow shorter, I want to be alone more (funny, because I’m alone a whole lot as it is), quiet, reading, not talking. I want to go to bed early and spend my free time bundled up with a cup of tea in my hand and a cat in my lap. I have to really push myself to attend social events.
What I notice is how much of a drug human energy is to me; what an incredible stimulant. I was with a group of beloved colleagues this past Sunday at a wonderful ordination and I could feel with some horror and amazement how being around my tribe gave me an undeniable euphoric high. I have been known and loved as I am by many of these people for long enough that I totally trust them, but boy! I can sure get overly gregarious and loud and over-animated! I was so tired going into this event, and then so wound up by the amazing power generated by the ordination service (the Holy Spirit was SO VERY THERE and working the room so VERY HARD), and then so extra psyched by the World Series game we gathered to watch in a local pub, it was clear to me that I need to learn better spiritual practices for modulating my absorption of spirit. I have been taught many techniques to manage absorption of BAD energy, but at this point in my life I recognize that when it comes to energy, even too much of a good thing is too much.
How about you? Do you know what I’m talking about? Do you ever go home after being totally jazzed up by the spirit of your community and feel like a rag doll who has been thrown around by a band of pack of cheerful beagles? I have heard some people talk about this phenomenon in terms of ADHD symptoms, but I don’t have ADHD. I have heard people in recovery from addiction talk about the highs they would get being in social situations while using, but I don’t have substance abuse issues (except for food).
Insights welcome!
I can relate. I am not clergy, but I had a very similar experience at a professional conference recently – I went to my hotel every evening just WIRED from all the interaction. I am pretty far on the introverted side of the spectrum and usually hate conferences, but this one was just really good and I was too wound up to sleep each night. I don’t have any good advice on how to manage these situations except to keep up the self-care – and watch your caffeine intake (I tend to drink more coffee/ tea at events, which doesn’t help).
WOW. I absolutely know what you mean, and had never found words to express the hangover regret of over-stimulated hyper-drive extroversion. Thanks for helping me consider this.
Yep. Always torn. I come home from worship exhausted but wired. I certainly count on the “people high” of second service – a bigger crowd, more energy coming back at me – to carry me after doing the first. I’ve also experienced the conflict between hang out and burrow in, collegially, though more in my earlier days when I was so isolated doing ministry in tiny towns and seeing peers was more rare.
I’m as far over in the introvert category as one can get. But as a pastor, I have to work “against type” every day, which is exhausting. When the Spirit is blowing things around, I can get carried away–in the best sense–and I don’t need to work so hard to be engaged with what’s happening. But since I’m accustomed to working hard at being with people, when I’m riding the coattails of the Spirit I can get pretty darned boisterous and push a few envelopes to the breaking point. Nothing creepy, but not always, um, “pastoral,” if you get my meaning. Just something I have to be aware of. Thanks for starting the discussion!
Yes, definitely! I know I have to balance introvert time and extrovert time to feel okay.
I think it’s a separate issue for me, but I’ve sometimes found myself getting a little hyper and boundary-pushing in social settings that sounds a lot like what you’re talking about — and as I’m figuring out my mental health more broadly, I’ve started to understand that as something like hypo-mania. Like I’m not totally in control of quite how extroverted I’m being sometimes. [Right! Hypomania is a term I’ve flagged a few times to explore more about… and here it is again. Time to do some research. Thanks, Kate! – PB]
Hmm… this is enlightening. I think I’m recognising my boss in the description of hypomania – for example a 30 minute car journey where I got about two words in edgewise, fluctuation from bubbly/happy to very angry/frustrated even to the point of tears. She’s basically a great boss, but it’s a bit hard to know where I stand as I never know how she’s going to act that day.
I have also always scored 50/50 in the E/I piece, and over the years I have learned that I relish the I — crocheting, with tea and the kitty boys curled up, but I must employ the E for the calling to ministry. I go home every Sunday and pass out. Without fail — and if I do fail, it knocks the whole week off for me. And often times, I will wake up freezing. . .the physical effect of releasing all that energy. Of course, eating right (you’ve posted about that) does help with how ready I am to move from to and from I/E. . . .and staying hydrated. . . .