OY. OY, OY, and double OY. An alert pigeon contacted me with a letter of concern for the young leaders depicted in this photograph. I don’t know if they’re clergy, I only know that they’re “25 under 35.” I asked the Alert Pigeon to blur out the faces so I could use this photo as Exhibit A in today’s lesson on “Take Control Of Your Image.”
I could not agree more with the submitter of this photo who thinks that the demure little clasped hands on the women makes them look like obedient little girls. Ick. Awful. Infantilizing. Disempowering. There’s only one time in a woman leader’s life when she should be photographed in this pose, and it is when she is holding a bouquet and enduring a stint as bridesmaid for a dear friend.
I don’t like this pose for men, either, as it looks like they’re protecting the family jewels and reads as insecure. I call it The Fig Leaf pose and instruct groomsmen to keep their arms at their sides for weddings. They are not allowed to put their hands behind their backs, as it ruins the line of their formal wear, and also may cause them to tip over. And if they’re caught with hands in pockets, they have to give me their car which I will donate to charity. This is always a laugh line at wedding rehearsals but once you’ve collected a set of keys, they don’t forget.
I know I’ve said this before, but YOU are in charge of your image, not the photographer. The photographer is in charge of getting a good photo. You must work WITH the photographer to get a good photo that shows you in your best and most appropriate light. Whenever you know you’re going to be posing for an important photo, make sure to get there on time. Introduce yourself to the photog and make sure he or she looks you in the face and connects with you as a person and not just a gig. The photographer might be in a hurry and dismiss you with an air of condescension, in which case it is your responsibility to simply do what you need to do to get a good shot. Be friendly but firm: “I look young for my age and I’m in a position of leadership so I’m going to keep my arms at my sides. Can you tell me if this is a good angle?” Or, “If you have time, I’d love to see if we might get an interesting shot of me with my arms folded. Do you think that works?” Be charming and invite the photographer into a creative collaboration with you. “Oh my gosh, I hate my hair so much in that series, could I please have a second to change it for the next try?” Photographers want you to look good but they’re busy people who have pre-formed opinions about how to pose people. Think about what you want the photo to look like, what image you want to convey, and SPEAK UP if the session isn’t headed in that direction.
These folks are looking terrific, by the way. A stronger pose would have resulted in a knock-out image. The two front-row gals to the left are dressed in such retro-conservative 1950’s style (especially the gal in the flared dress, who is dressed beautifully but looks entirely Suzy Homemaker with her hands held that way), they especially suffer from then posing. I would have put them all at a slight angle and hollered, “ARMS DOWN, SHOULDERS BACK, CHIN UP, CHEST OUT! NOW: MAKE YOUR EYES SPARKLE!”
Interesting, I was mentally reviewing some pictures and I thought “You see the Duchess Kate and you saw Princess Diana in that “good girl” pose sometimes, but you NEVER see Her Majesty that way.” Maybe that should be our photo mantra: Be the Queen!
I am a [young] photographer partnered to a [young] clergyperson and this smacks of a subpar photographer. I completely understand you sometimes have to be photographed by someone you didn’t choose and if that person isn’t attuned to your needs, that is definitely a time to stand up for yourself. But if you are getting professional portraits done and you CAN choose, make sure you talk to them about what you want before you hire them! A decent photographer should be able to convey professionalism and not hit this “demure little girl” note without any trouble at all.
My brother is a professional photographer who specializes in informal business portraits (think Chairman of the Board) and portraits of people doing what they do for work. He is a genius at capturing a whole story in a photo. I am going to send him the link to this post and see if he responds. He would probably have a lot to say about this!
So intrigued by the second row – the gal in silver placed her hands flat against her skirt – much better than the hands clasped. My favorite is the gal in orange who, in my mind, is saying, “Whatevs, I know what looks good, and I’m gonna lean on this railing and look great, thank you very much.”
My sister, Judy [above] sent me the link to this blog for a possible response. Boy do I have one, there just isn’t enough space here to say what I’d like!
Emily is absolutely right, this is NOT a photo taken by a professional [which I define as anyone who knows what the F… they’re doing!]! As a friend of mine told me a month or two ago, everyone thinks “You buy an expensive piano, you own a piano. You buy an expensive camera and you’re a photographer”. It simply doesn’t work that way!
A very small part of being a professional photographer of people is about the equipment! The vast majority is about interpersonal skills, getting people comfortable and relaxed, building thier trust in you by “exposing” your underbelly to them so that they can reciprocate.
Certainly there are many situations that you all, as clergy, are going to be photographed by people you don’t know and people you have not hired yourselves. Those situations are where you need to reverse this process and get them to trust and like you so that you both [or all] can be working together to a common end, good, relaxed photos of everyone. Trust your intuition about the people you don’t know.
And if you are hiring the photographer, don’t make the decision by the bottom line! That is truly being penny wise and pound foolish! How many times do you get to make a first impression? ONCE! And your photo is going to be your “first impression” to MANY, MANY people especially in this digital age! Meet the photographer and talk to others whom he/she has shot. What was their experience like? Did they have fun? [YES, FUN!]. Portraiture is extremely synergistic and cooperative. You have to work together to get good photos [even though many of the people I photograph don’t realize that we’re working together!]
Just to give you a sense of how important still imagery is, let me leave you with one thought. If I were to describe a situation to you in great detail with a lot of interction in the scene, would you see in your mind the WORDS I was using or would you see pictures? I think there are VERY FEW people who think in words; I believe the human experience is to think in images, specifically STILL images. How did early man communicate with others? Cave drawings. Words are a human construct so that we cn explain our narratives/stories and ideas to others more quickly. And they are a very imperfect way to do that because we all have our own pictures for the words we use, pictures that have come from our own experiences or from the media around us. When you think about a movie that you particularly love, do you see a complete section of the movie or do you see a sequence of still images? Please give these ideas some serious thought and feel free to get back to me if you’d like! nat@natclymer.com
[Dear Nat, how fabulous to hear from you!! As you may know, I adore your sis. I’m going to lift this comment and make it into a guest column. Thanks again for weighing in with your professional opinion. -PB]